After a man engages in intercourse with his wife, he'll be in a state of spiritual impurity. So in order for him to be in a state of purity again, he just needs to perform the ghusl al Janaba and this will also give make him in the state wudu as well, so no need to do wudu.
If however during the ghusl or after he would do an action which would break wudu, then he would have to repeat the wudu again and not the ghusl.
When you are still married, you are not allowed to think of another man at all. Even talking on phone or messaging him or any way of contact is not allowed. After you get your Islamic divorce and pass the Idda period after Talaq, then you will be allowed to do that.
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