Accountability is determined by the exercise their own free will and understanding of what they are doing. So for example a 4 year old child hitting another child or stealing is wrong but does the child fully understand yet- the implications of their actions. Are they held accountable in the eyes of Allah swt- the answer is no. This is also because their aql and rational/intellectual faculty is not yet developed fully.
Hence those suffering with serious mental illness in which their aql is severely affected such as severe bi-polar or severe mood disorders, or forms of schizophrenia my have entire breaks from reality, they may for example even think "they are the president of the United States" and actually believe it. These are cases in which such a person is not rational whatsoever and hence would most likely not be held accountable by Allah. Otherwise we are expected to control ourselves and not attribute excuses to simply being "crimes of passion" whereas we are expected to control our passions/impulses and not be controlled by them as human beings that is what distinguishes us from other creatures on this Earth.
You can reassure your new Muslim friend that Allah swt is all merciful and all forgiving. Any actions performed during their time as a non Muslim will be forgiven inshallah and when they utter the testimony of faith it will be as if they are newly born with no sins.
Masturbation is a major sin and its punishment has been mentioned in many Hadeeths, that the sinner will come in the Day of Judgement with his hand which he used in masturbation, swollen like a mountain and will bedridden in front of all human beings.
Zina ( fornication) is another major sin, which is different from masturbation.
Allah The Glorious knows all our deeds and we need to seek Forgiveness from Him.
You do not need to mention your previous sins to any one except Allah, simply, because no one can forgive your sins but Allah (SWT).
In many cases, mentioning your previous sins can hurt the feeling of your spouse or displease them. Disclosing your previous sins can be harmful as it is possible that it can leak to others including your children when your spouse is unhappy with you. That is why, you should keep your sins between you and your Creator and seek His forgiveness.
Just repeat Estighfaar as many times as you can and seek from Allah (SWT) to forgive your sins and protect you and your family from every harm ijn this life and hereafter.
Islamic rules have punishment on certain major sins, but that punishments can only be implemented by the Prophet , Infallible Imam or his deputy.
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