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We should not conflate the reward of the Ziyaras or Hajj. Performing one does not mean we should not perform the other. Hajj has its specific times and the Ziyara of Imam Hussayn has a specific time. If you can afford to perform both, that would be great. Keep in mind, those who perform Hajj will also have the opportunity to visit RasulAllah, FatimaZahra, and the Imams in Baqee'. 

We believe that every act of the Infallible is based on the  complete wisdom which may not be available to us as our thinking is limited.

The wisdom behind the way of fighting the enemies in Karbala can be to avoid immediate collapse of the camp of Imam Husain (AS) looking at huge numbers of the enemies facing small number of believers.

It can be also to give more chances to the army of the enemies to reconsider their stand.

After all, the whole wisdom of that arrangements is with Imam Husain (AS) which aims definitely to serve the noble aims of Islam.

Wassalam.

Bismihi ta'ala

The presence of women is a fundamental and important element of understanding the true philosophy of Karbala. As for the precise number of females in the camp of Imam Husain (a.s.) in Karbala, there is no exact consensus for this. 

In one reference (al-nafas al-mahmum) it is said that there were twenty, being either wives, mothers or daughters. 

Here are two links (in Arabic) that give detailed description of this analysis:

https://www.islam4u.com/ar/node/5769

http://www.alkawthartv.com/news/96260

With prayers for your success.

Bismihi ta'ala

The tragedy of Ashura' and the martyrdom of the companions and family members of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) did not extend for a long time, and within this short duration of the battle, the sad event enfolded quickly. Historians do mention the first who was martyred, and the last. 

There were also common combating practices, like duel fights, but what made the tragedy more severe was that none of these fighting rituals were observed. In general, it was Imam Husain (a.s.) who granted permission for the companions and members of Ahlul Bayt (a.s) to fight. 

And Allah knows best.