1. Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims
  2. Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

25 Questions

I did Istikhara on a marriage proposal and it turned out positive, however the boy also did Istikhara without knowing about mine and his reply was negative. What should we do?
Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi

Istikhara is not obligatory in every marriage. It is helpful if you are unable to decide whether the proposal is good or not.

The Istikhara which you did is for your intention, while the Istikhara which the boy did was for his intention. You need to wait till any change in the circumstances takes place, then if you remain unable to decide and you still need an Istikhara, then both should go for one joint Istikhara.

Wassalam.
Is it permissible for a woman to propose marriage to a man?If yes, how should she go by it and what conditions and rules must she abide by?
Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi

Yes it is permissible for a woman to propose marriage to a suitable man. She can convey her proposal through a trusted person or through any suitable way like a letter or an email etc. Such proposal should be studied very carefully because it is not common among men, and it might be misunderstood or misused if the man is not pious enough. The man should be with high degree of faith, religious practice and manners.

Wassalam.
A boy sent a proposal to my parents asking for my hand in marriage but my parents are making caste an issue because we are both from different castes. My father also has a problem with love marriage. What should I do?
Zaid Alsalami

Bismihi ta'ala

As Muslims, we do not believe in caste, and we rather condemn such an attitude. Our criterion for evaluating someone is piety, as the Quran says. It is unfortunate that some parents still carry such a mentality, and hopefully one day we will all be able to implement our religion in the best way possible. 

That being said, you must take into consideration compatibility and overall mindset of who it is you are marrying. There must be a good level of compatibility for you and your future spouse to have a successful marriage. It would be best for an elder or a local scholar to somehow discuss this topic with your parents, if you see this suitor to be appropriate for you to marry. 

Do not allow this to escalate, or turn into major problems, and try to deal with it in a calm and wise way. 

As for "love marriage", this is an unfamiliar term in Islam. For us, it is either marriage, or not. Love is one thing, and legitimacy of a relationship between two non-mahram people is another. 

With prayers for your success. 
Does the family making a marriage proposal have to inform the other family of the previous marriage of the boy that only lasted a month?
Zaid Alsalami

Bismihi ta'ala

Although from a shar'i perspective this might not be obligatory, but one is asked it would be haram to lie and not tell the truth.

Also, ethically it is important for both sides to be transparent and clear about everything. Present everything to each other, and it is up to both sides to decide and agree, or disagree.

The problem with concealing such information is should it surface later on, it will become very difficult to contain and could lead to deep issues.

Wassalam