Yes, whether the female is Muslim born or converted to Islam, he will still need to follow the correct shar'i and traditional Islamic custom of process of proposal and everything else. Involving family in the marriage proposal is extremely important, and so is seeking their blessings and happiness.
No unless you have concrete evidence that he is committing Haraam which can destroy the life of the girl, then you can give them the evidence and leave them to verify and decide.
Family unity is of vital importance. It sounds like there may be other issues here - more than that of halal food - possibly issues of balance of power between your parents. Why would your mother not want to be with your father? Is your father respected in the family? Do you have a close bond with him?
You should avoid hurting or disrespecting any of your parents. Even you have no way but to chose one option of your parents different options, you must keep their respect and nice to both of them in every possible way.
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