there is no problem in using alcohol based hand sanitizers and it does not invalidate the fast. This is a general ruling and it is not limited to any particular time-period.
I am sorry to hear you have to go through that. I am sure that is very upsetting.
Well, it is not as if God is going to punish you or send you to hell because your mother is cursing you while she is drunk. However, it isn't healthy to have that kind of negativity directed towards you, so if there is anything you can do to provide a more positive and spiritually/personally uplifting environment around yourself (for instance, listening to Qur'an on headphones), it might help deal with some of the negativity.
Also if possible it might be good to find people who have life experience and who can offer good advice (such as a relative or school/university counselor, if you are at an age where you are going to school/university) to discuss your future with, since it is easy to internalize negative ideas, particularly if our parents are telling them to us, and it might be healthy to be hearing a more positive voice about what you can do and how to aim for it.
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