Killing an innocent is a major sin if it was deliberate not unintentional. This major sin has many types and degrees but all deliberate killing of an innocent is a major sin. Killing a believer just because of his belief is the most dangerous.
The common view among our esteeemed scholars is that such an act is highly detestable (very makruh) and should not be performed. Some consider it haram, and some precautionary haram. It is indeed something that believers should refrain from, and expressing discomfort is irrelevant as well.
You must refer to your Marja' taqleed for his specific view.
Coping with feelings of sorrow and regret for past sins involves a combination of sincere repentance, spiritual practices, and positive actions. Here are some steps you can take:
Sincere Repentance (Tawbah):
Repentance is fundamental. You should sincerely turn to Allah, recognize your mistakes, and express genuine remorse for your actions. Islamic teachings emphasize that Allah is Most Merciful and Always Ready to Forgive those who turn back to Him.
Say [that Allah declares,] ‘O My servants who have committed excesses against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed Allah will forgive all sins. Indeed, He is the All-forgiving, the All-merciful. (39:53)
Seek Forgiveness (Istighfar):
Engage in regular acts of seeking forgiveness. You can recite specific supplications (duas) like “Astaghfirullah” (I seek forgiveness from Allah) often. It’s also beneficial to recite the Dua Kumayl and other supplications that emphasize repentance.
Engage in Good Deeds:
After repenting, focus on performing good deeds to counterbalance past wrongs. Acts of charity, helping others, and engaging in community service can be a source of healing and a way to draw closer to Allah.
Increase Spiritual Activities:
Participate in religious practices such as prayers (Salah), attending mosque activities, and engaging in remembrance of Allah (Dhikr). Reading the Quran and reflecting on its meanings can also provide solace.
Consult Religious Guidance:
Consulting with a knowledgeable scholar or a trusted religious figure can provide you with personal guidance and support. They can help you work through your feelings of sorrow and provide advice on how to strengthen your repentance.
Community Support:
Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can be helpful. Engaging in discussions with fellow believers who can offer encouragement and share their own experiences can alleviate feelings of isolation.
Self-Forgiveness:
Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and it is vital to learn from them rather than dwell on them indefinitely. Allow yourself to forgive your past and focus on your future.
Maintain Hope:
Always maintain hope in Allah’s mercy. The Quran reminds us that Allah’s mercy encompasses all things (Quran 7:56). Your feelings of remorse can be transformed into a powerful motivation to change and better yourself.
By following these steps and sincerely committing to improvement, you can alleviate some of the emotional burdens caused by past sins and find a renewed sense of peace and purpose in your spiritual journey.
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