Islamic Family Values From Hadith Al-Kisa

Jabir Ibn 'Abdallah al-Ansari, who was one of the great companions of the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wa alih. Sometimes he would be given permission to go to the Prophet's house, and he narrates to us several hadiths from Lady Fatimah 'alayha as-salam. He had that honour, he was so trustworthy, so high-ranking, so pure. The Prophet allowed him to hear those hadiths directly from lady Fatimah.

So he narrates this version of Hadith al-Kisa' [The Event of the Cloak] from Lady Fatimah 'alayha as-salam. There are many beautiful treasures from this Hadith but I would like to share with you a few beautiful points that affect our family life.

When you study the text of Hadith al-Kisa; 'an Jabir Ibn 'Abdillah al-Ansari, 'an Fatimata annaha qalat: dakhala 'alayya abi Rasul Allah salla Allahu 'alayhi wa alihi fi ba'd al-ayyam'. - 'She narrates when the Prophet once came, he was feeling fatigued, tired, so he went under the cloak.' One beautiful point that we learn from this amazing hadith, is that the members of one family must always be positive and loving towards one another, highlighting the attributes and virtues of each other.

Look at the text of this hadith, and how the Ahl al-Bayt would speak when Imams Hasan and Husayn walked in. How did Lady Fatimah, alayha as-salam, greet them? 'Ya waladi, wa ya qurrata 'ayni, wa thamarata fu'adi'- 'my beloved son, the flower of my heart, the light of my eyes'. When a mother addresses her children that way, can you imagine the positivity this brings to your house? Regardless of what has happened, you may be stressed out. You come to your mother, who is the bond and the backbone of the family, and she greets you that way. Automatically, it infuses you with positivity. You feel much better, you feel welcome.

Lady Fatimah 'alayha as-salam, is teaching us in this narration how to address our family members. And then look at young Hasan and Husayn, how much love they show to their mother Fatimah to their father Amir Al-Mu'minin, to the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa alih.

A successful family is one that is based on the expression of your positive emotions. Some of us, we would like to hold our emotions back, especially when it comes to my parents, right? When it comes to my parents, I hesitate. Hadith Al-Kisa' teaches you, no, show your emotions to your parents, go to your father, to your mother. Assure them how much you love them, kiss their hands, hug them, embrace them, that is how you build a solid, strong family.

Subhana Allah, for us these days, especially the youngsters, the teenagers, this generation, we are very reluctant to show those emotions to our parents. But if the teenagers fall in love with someone masha Allah, they have an arsenal of emotions ready to share with one another. And sometimes you are wondering, habibi, where did you save all those emotions? Where did they come from? How come I do not see them with your father, with your mother, with your siblings? Now some stranger shows up, who has not really done you any favors in life, who does not really have any rights over you, and you are willing to show them extreme love and emotions. Is that fair? When I don't show 1% of that attention and love to my mother, to my father, to my siblings, my parents, who without my own knowledge, cry for me.

Many times, when parents see the challenges their children go through, maybe it is a health crisis, maybe it is a family issue, maybe whatever difficulty they are going through, parents actually cry for their children. Sometimes they will hide those tears, they do not want you to see them. Parents who care about you, who spent sleepless nights for you, what this stranger who you now love so much, spent one sleepless night for you? What did this person do for you?

The beautiful Hadith al-Kisa teaches us how to properly dispense our emotions. Keep a big chunk of your positive emotions at home! For those people who love you, care about you, sacrifice for you, worked so hard for you. But maybe that is not what society teaches us. Always remember hadith Al-Kisa' and the tone in Hadith Al-Kisa'.

Number two see how in Hadith al-Kisa' each member of this family highlights the positive virtue in the other one. Looks at the positive side. For instance, when Imam Hasan 'alayhi as-salam walked in, he was the first to walk in, according to this version by Lady Fatimah 'alayha as-salam. What did he say to his mother? "Inni ashummu indaki ra'ihatin tayyibah ka'anna ra'iatu jaddi Rasul Allah"-'My mother, I smell something very good next to you, with you.' See, he came to the house, he noticed something positive, he commented.

Hadith al-Kisa' teaches us when you notice something good, comment! Some of us know we are the exact opposite. We save our comments only when we do not like something. The husband comes back home, he does not like something in the house, or what his wife has cooked, immediately starts nagging and complaining. Start with the positive! You come back home, you see something nice, comment. Say it. Let your spouse hear it. Let your children hear it. Let your parents hear it. You notice that when they [Ahl al-Bayt] came to the house, they noticed something different, something positive they quickly pointed it out. And that is a lesson for us, my dear brothers and sisters. Point it out, when you see something positive at home. This strengthens the family bonds.

Number three: the greeting. The type of greeting. Be creative with your greeting. When we come back home, many of us do not even greet one another. You are tired, you just want to go and do your thing. When you arrive, when you go to the house, you are back from work, from school, make it a point to choose a beautiful greeting that day. Greet your family members. You see how in Hadith al-Kisa' they were very creative with their greetings. And they would give each other beautiful titles.

Ya jadda, ya Rasul Allah, ya min akhtaruh Allah. You see these beautiful titles that they share with one another and they are greeting one another. Always greet one another! Even if it's with a smile. Even if it's with a smile. One psychologist wrote the story in one of his books. He says that there was a marital problem. The husband and wife were not getting along. Maybe they were considering divorce. So the wife, she goes and she sees a very good therapist. After that first counseling session, he realizes, what's the problem. He realized that during that entire hour, this lady did not smile even once.

So he told her, okay, look, I have a strategy to address your problem. All I want you to do in the upcoming week or so, whenever you see your husband in the morning, before he walks out, just greet him with a smile. You don't need to say anything. When he comes back from work, just greet him with a smile. That's all she's like, that's all.Try it. Come back and update me next week. So the next morning, she wakes up, before her husband leaves the house, she meets him with this big smile. He is looking at that smile, he has not seen her smile in months or possibly years. And you know how contagious smiles are, right? So he just inadvertently smiled. What's going on? Why are you smiling? What's happening? Then she greeted him that afternoon with another smile. She went back a week later, she saw the therapist. She told him, that's it, we don't want divorce. Everything's fixed right now. We learned how to fix things. Sometimes it's just a greeting that will change everything at home.

And finally, my dear brothers and sisters, amongst the many other lessons that we can draw from Hadith al-Kisa', one lesson is to always come together as one family, as one unit, spending time with one another, and include your children in your discussions. You see how the Prophet gathers his family. You have three generations here. A grandfather, his daughter, the generation of his children, and the generation of his grandchildren. Get together as one family. This strengthens your bonds, your ties, even the small children include them in your discussions.

See, the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa alih, is gathered there for an important event. Imam Hasan and Husayn were young. Maybe Imam Husayn was a toddler, maybe he was two - three years old when this happened. But the Prophet included him. He gave him significance and importance. When children see that their parents are giving them respect, and significance, and importance, that leaves a great impact on them.

Today these days, we are spending less and less time with one another. Believe me. Even during the COVID 19 crisis, maybe initially we started to spend some time with the family. But then I kept hearing from a lot of people. We developed our own schedule and habits, and it is pretty much addiction to the screen. Social media websites, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, the new thing amongst the younger generation, right? Spending endless hours. We can barely get together as one family for 20 minutes these days.

And I'm talking about quality time. Not everybody sitting on the couch doing their thing. And we think we are in the living room together. No. That does not count as family time. Family time is quality time, where everyone's focused on one another. Showing care for one another, learning from one another. How much do we do that?

The Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wa alih, teaches us to have family time. Gather the family members and get close to each other. When they got under the cloak, they were very close to each other. Get close in one circle. Do not be spread out in your living room, because proximity plays a role in how much you show affection, and love, and emotions to one another. It brings you closer, literally!

So these are some beautiful lessons, my dear brothers and sisters, from Hadith al-Kisa'.