Staying True: Navigating Teen Pressure - Mental Health 3/7
As-salamu alaykum, I am Berak Hussain, the Muslim counselor. Teenagers, the challenges that they encounter, including trying to fit in, such as peer pressure. So what does that mean? It means trying to get people to like you, to do things so that people will accept you, just so you can fit in and be cool. When teenagers do that, what happens?
You lose part of your identity. You lose part of who you truly are just so you can be accepted and be part of the clique or the group or the cool people. Being part of the clique or the cool group could also mean compromising your values, what is important to you, including your moral, ethical, and religious values. There is a lot of temptations out there with drugs, alcohol, social media, just to fit in and be cool. Therein lies the problem. How can you fit in and still stay true to yourself?
Well, it is about being genuine. It is about being honorable to yourself, about saying no. And that is not easy when you are so challenged as a teenager. So when I see people who are struggling with this, we get down to the basics. Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? What is important to you? What do you value?
Sure, you want people to like you because that is a normal, natural human instinct. We want to be accepted loved, accepted for who we are. And that can be different and very challenging sometimes when people have their own ideas of what it is to be cool and fitting in. Also, like we said earlier, the social media, that has a huge impact in terms of how people portray themselves, if they are being genuine, if this is truly how they live. And this is the new thing that you all have to try and get and do. This becomes very overwhelming for a teenager who is overwhelmed by hormones, overwhelmed by all the challenges such as doing well in school, family issues at home, working, et cetera, et cetera, just trying to figure out who they are on this journey.
So what can you do as a teenager to still fit in, but still be yourself? I think it comes from the environment around us, your household, your family, your friends, but also understanding within yourselves your talents, your abilities, your strengths, and working on those. Because when you work on those to try and reach your full potential, and loving yourself and accepting these are your limitations and these are your strengths, that is what you can work on and contribute and share and empower others as well.
What can adults do to also help teenagers fit in, that also stay true to themselves and their values is, again, to recognize your children's and your teenager's talents, abilities, and their strengths and nurture that. When a child is really good at playing sports, for example, when a teenager has great public speaking skills, or any other talent, whether it is artistic, or academic or community-based. Nurture, empower that, get them to really be able to work on those things because that will build up their sense of self and their self-esteem and their confidence.
When we build our self-esteem and our confidence, we don't feel the need to get accepted by other people because we love and we accept who we are as we are. This is what it means to be genuine to yourself. Loving yourself, working on yourself, and building your sense of self and your self esteem.
Self esteem also has a huge impact and is connected to mental challenges and mental illnesses in your overall well-being, such as depression and anxiety. And this has a huge, huge impact as well on fitting in and peer pressure and all the issues surrounding teenagers. And these are things that we will be exploring later on as well. Thank you very much. As-salamu alaykum.
