We need to repeat Estighfaar day and night, and repeat long Sojood (Prostration) whenever we can. It is also useful to visit grave graves of our known persons and remember that they went before us and we are definitely going after them and difference between them and us but only the date of departure. It is also useful to put your hand in head of an orphan out of kindness and respect. This act makes heart more soft.
Bismillah, one of the most difficult things for human beings to obtain is clarity. Clarity can especially be difficult to obtain if you were raised in a family that gas-lighted you, or emotionally manipulated you. This kind of behaviour violates the normal boundaries of your dignity and respect, and can cause you to become confused and doubt what is right and what is wrong. Clarity is obtained through coming to understand your worth as a human being. Phobias may arise as a natural part of the human being's survival instinct, but can be wrongly applied if the person has not overcome past traumas. Thus, if the mind rationally knows that something is OK, the heart of the person may still carry a phobia. Closely studying psychology and human behaviour for maybe five years, through books and online lectures and videos, can help you to understand yourself more.
Actually 'reason' is not infallible. The line between reason, intuition, the heart and self-interest is not clear-cut. Working towards clarity can take ten or twenty years of a lot of deep reflection and study. Do not be upset if it doesn't come just within months.
Thank you for your question. Supplication from and with the heart is perfectly fine. Indeed, our very poverty is an existential supplication to the Almighty.
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