Tarbiyah 2/7 - Everything Starts At Home

Everything starts at home. Islam says family always comes first. Islam emphasizes very much on the family structure. It also emphasizes on bringing about stability in a family. Once you have stability in a family, what comes out of a family would be the best of products. And this is why when we do speak about tarbiyah, it all starts there in the house.

Tarbiyah is the most important topic that we need to be discussing on a daily basis. We need to share information, we need to speak about our experiences, and we also need to substitute for the lack of tarbyah that some families or some people might not be aware of. And this is why me, as a Muslim, I need to be responsible for myself, for my children, and for all of those who are around me. I need to make sure that I am able to be proactive in bringing about better family structures and making sure that we do truly produce the best of examples in our society.

And this is why tarbiyah is an art, it's a skill, it's something we need to learn. It's something we need to put effort into, whether it be through reading books, whether it be by listening to elders, whether it be by adhering to advice, in particular the advice given to us by Ahl ul-Bayt alayhum as-salam. And this is why we can sadly say that not every parent is successful. So what do we do? Where do we start? How do we go about this?

In my view, everything needs to start from me having a pure heart. If I am able to delve deep into my own Akhlaqi characters, and improve myself and set high standards for my inner spirituality, then I would be able to reflect that onto those who are around me. And it is very similar to having a ripple effects. If I'm good, then I will be able to share that goodness with other people.

So, when we speak about safeguarding ourselves, and safeguarding our family, as the Qur'an itself says: "Bismi-Llah, Al-Rahmani, Al-Rahim. Qu anfusakum, wa ahlikum" (66:6), safeguard and fortify yourself and your family members. "Al-anfusakum" means yourself. So first of all, start with yourself. What are you able to do? How are you able to become a better person?

If everything starts at home, then you are the member of that home. So, when you become a better person, automatically those around you will be influenced by you. They will be affected by that positivity that you are sharing with everyone else. So, if you have a good heart and you come from a pure origin, as far as your behavior is concerned, then this will bring about purity in your environment, in your house, and everything else.

So with that purity of your heart, with you putting effort in disciplining yourself, with you being able to elevate your soul, and work on all of those defects, and faults, and problems, and issues that you might have, you will be able to subconsciously implant a lot of good, positive characters in your own children. Wa al-hamdulil-Lahi Rabbi al-'Alamin.