Family Interaction

This text is a collection of verses of the Holy Qur’an and Traditions of the Holy Prophet (S) and The Pure Imams of the Ahl Al-Bayt (‘a) about marriage and family. It is divided in four sections: children’s responsibility towards their parents, parental responsibility towards children, marriage, and responsibilities of the spouses towards each other.

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Dedication

This book

is gratefully dedicated to

the best and the romantic family during history;

to the commander of faithful, Imam Ali,

his honorable wife, Lady Fatimah,

and their noble children.

About The Author

A Brief Biography of Sheikh. Abolfazl Sabouri (Born in 1980 in Iran):

• Graduate of Elmiyeh seminary in Qom with more than 15 years of study and research. (He Actively participated in courses offered by Grand Ayatollah Jawadi Amoli, Grand Ayatollah Sobhani, Grand Ayatollah Zanjani, Grand Ayatollah Bahjat, and Grand Ayatollah Seyyed Kamal Haydari).

• Professor of Tafsir, Theology, and Jurisprudence in Elmiyeh Seminary of Qom and in Payame Noor and Kurdestan Universities

• There are hundreds of students who participated in courses offered by him in different universities

• M.A in Jurisprudence and Islamic Studies

• Propagating Experiences:

• Participation and giving lectures in number of religious meetings in different masjids and universities in Iran, religious meetings in Poland (Warsaw) and in New Zealand (Auckland)

• Administer of Research Group in Al-Murtaza Institute Researcher in Religious Issues and in Commentary of Quran

• Author of Some Published and Non-Published Books and Articles (in Persian and in English)

Introduction

We have different interactions in our daily life: interaction with the creator, with the society, with the family, with the environment and with oneself. One of the most important of these interactions is interaction with one’s family. The family is the first place that human personality is formed. The success or failure of society to some extent related to the family.

The family is the primary unit of the community, the initial cell at the institutional level, and the essential bridge upon which the former generations of the native land cross to give birth to future generations. In truth, the family is the fundamental social unit through which the newborn child is first introduced to the world, outside its mother’s womb. Because of this protected environment, the child learns the fundamentals of his language, values, norms of behavior, habits, psychological and social leniencies, as well as many factors of his character.

The family, according to the Islamic concept, is not a mere means of satisfying animal instincts, nor is a family’s home merely an abode for sleep. In fact, it represents an educational environment for both spiritual sublimation and intellectual development. It is a place where there is a mutual noble sentiment particularly between husband and wife and among the members of the family in general.1

The book you are holding is intended to gather some of the interesting verses of the Qur’an and some of the traditions of Prophet Muhammad and his Pure Progeny (peace be upon them) about the marriage and family.2 The contents of this book are organized into four sections. The first one is about children’s responsibility towards their parents. The second part is about the parental responsibility. In the third section, some Qur’anic verses and traditions about marriage were collected. The last part is about the responsibilities of spouses.

I hope this book be useful for you so that you become more familiar with the preferred view of Islam and the value it puts on the family.

- 1. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Whenever God loves a family, He makes them affectionate towards each other.” (Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 3, p. 52, no. 5449).

- 2. It has been cited more than 50 verses of the Qur’an and 160 traditions of the Prophet and infallible Imams.

Children’s Responsibilities

In the eyes of Islam, the status of the father and the mother is very exalted. They are pillars of the family. Almighty God, the Holy Prophet, and the Infallible Imams have exhorted the people in this regard. There are many verses in the Holy Qur’an relevant to the subject. From the viewpoint of the Qur’an, respecting the parents is so important and the exemplary behavior of children towards their parents is rated as one of the best acts of worship. Because of this, after advising about monotheism (Tawhid), which is the most important topic in the Qur’an, it advises about parents:

“ When Luqman said to his son, as he advised him: “O my son! Do not ascribe any partners to God. Polytheism is indeed a great injustice.” (Qur’an, 31:13).

“We have enjoined man concerning his parents: His mother carried him through weakness upon weakness, and his weaning takes two years. Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the return .” (Qur’an, 31:14).

The Qur’an says in chapter Maryam that Almighty God has enjoined His prophet to be good to his mother1:

“He has made me blessed, wherever I may be, and He has enjoined me to maintain the prayer and to pay the zakat (alms) as long as I live.” (Qur’an, 19:31).

“And to be good to my mother, and He has not made me self-willed and wretched.” (Qur’an, 19:32).

In other verses, the Qur’an advises all people to be kind to their parents:

“We have enjoined man to be kind to his parents. His mother has carried him in travail, and bore him in travail, and his gestation and weaning take thirty months.” (Qur’an, 46:15).

“And your Lord decreed that you shall not serve except Him, and do good to your parents. When one of them or both of them reaches old age (and they live with you), do not say to them “Fie” (a word of disrespect) nor shout at them, but say to them a kind saying (noble words).” (Qur’an, 17:23).

“Moreover, lower for them the wing of humility through mercy, and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they have raised me when I was small.” (Qur’an, 17:24).

According to these verses, one of the responsibilities of children towards parents is being benevolent and kind towards them in speaking2 and in behavior3. They must be so humble to their parents out of compassion, must show their love in their behavior, and should pray for them4.

(About this verse) Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “If God the Almighty had known anything lower than “Fie”, He would surely have forbidden it.”5 He said: “Anyone who looks towards his parents with hatred, even if they had been unjust to him, God shall not accept his Prayers.”6

Children should be well-wishers for their parents and if they were wrong, advise them. The Qur’an mentions Abraham (peace be upon him), who advised his father7 and invited him to the right path:

“And mention in the Book Abraham. Indeed, he was a truthful one, a prophet.” (Qur’an, 19:41).

“When he said to his father: “Father! Why do you worship that which neither hears nor sees, and is of no avail to you in any way?” (Qur’an, 19:42).

“Father! Indeed a knowledge has already come to me which has not come to you. So follow me that I may guide you to a right path.” (Qur’an, 19:43).

“Father! Do not worship Satan. Indeed Satan is disobedient to the All-beneficent.” (Qur’an, 19:44).

“Father! I am indeed afraid that a punishment from the All-beneficent will befall you, and you will become Satan’s accomplice.’” (Qur’an, 19:45).

Ibrahim bin Shu‘ayb narrated that he said to Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him), “My father has become very old and weak so much so that we carry him [to the toilet] when needs be.” He said: “If you can help him with that, then do so, and [also] feed him with your hand because this [service] will be a shield [against the hell-fire] for you tomorrow [i.e., in the next world].”8

We may summarize the duties of children towards parents as follows:

• Be kind towards them and respect them in speaking and in behavior.

• Be so humble to your parents out of compassion, and show your love in your behavior.

• Obey them in permissible acts.

• If they are in need, assist them even if they are not Muslims.

• If you have the finances, fulfill their unpaid debts.

• You should not cause them any harm even if they commit any excesses.

• Pray for them and continue making the prayer of forgiveness and mercy for them after their death.

• Continue sending rewards to them in the form of optional acts of worship and charity on their behalf.

• Meet their friends and relatives in a friendly way wherever possible and assist them.

Traditions

There are a large number of Hadiths about parents. Here are some of them.

Attachment To Parents

[A person once approached the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) and said: “I have an old father and mother, who due to their attachment towards me, are not keen for me to go to Jihad.” Hearing this,] the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “(If such is the case then) Stay with your parents for, by the One in whose control lies my soul, their attachment of one day and one night to you is better than one year of Jihad.”9

The Most Beloved Deed

[Ibn Masud states,] “I questioned the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny), which deed is the most beloved in the eyes of God, the Mighty, the Glorious?” He (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) replied, “(Offering) prayers at their stipulated times.” I then asked, “Which is the next most beloved deed?” He answered, “Goodness towards (one’s) parents.” I asked him again, “After this which is the most beloved act?” He (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “Jihad in the way of God.”10

Looking At Parents

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “Every righteous child who casts a look of mercy and affection upon his parents shall be granted, for every look of his, rewards equivalent to that of an accepted Hajj.”11

Obedience Towards Parents

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has stated, “One who is obedient towards his parents and his Lord shall be accommodated in the most exalted of places on the Day of Judgment.”12

Repayment Of Debt

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has said: “One who performs Hajj on behalf of his parents and repays their debt shall be raised by God on the Day of Judgment amongst the righteous ones.”13

Pleasing Parents

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “One who pleases his parents has verily pleased God and one who has angered his parents has verily angered God.”14

Travel To Do Good

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “Travel even for two years to do good to your parents. Travel even for one year to establish bonds of kinship (with your relatives).”15

Exhibit Goodness Towards Parents

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “One who desires a long life and an increase in livelihood should exhibit goodness towards his parents and establish bonds of kinship (with his relatives).”16

Worship In Looking

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has said: “The look of a child towards his parents out of love for them is an act of worship.”17

Visiting The Graves Of Parents

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his family) said: “Whoever visits the graves of his parents or one of them every week, God shall forgive his sins and shall regard him to be of those who had been kind to his parents.”18

Paradise Or Hell

The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure family) said: “Be good and kind (to your parents) so that your recompense is paradise, and if you have been disowned (by them), your abode shall be the fire (of Hell).”19

Do Not Make The Parents Sad

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “One who causes his parents to become sad has indeed been disowned by them.”20

Beware Of Disownment

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure family) has said: “Beware of becoming disowned by your parents, for verily the fragrance of paradise which can be smelt from a distance of a thousand years, shall never reach the nostrils of one who has been disowned by his parents and one who has severed the bonds of kinship (with his relatives).”21

Chastisement In This World

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his family) has stated, “There are three sins, the punishments of which are hastened and not deferred for the hereafter: disownment by one’s parents, committing oppression upon the people, and ingratitude with respect to kindness.”22

Do Good To Your Mother

Once a person approached the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) and asked, “O’ Messenger of God! Towards whom should I exhibit goodness and kindness?” The Noble Prophet replied, “Towards your mother.” The man then asked, “And after that towards whom?” The Noble Prophet again said: “Your Mother.” He asked again, “And then?” Once again, he replied, “Your mother.”23 For the fourth time, the man asked, “And then?” This time he said: “Your father.”24

The Rights Of The Father

A person once asked the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny), “What are the rights of the father upon the son?” The Noble Prophet replied, “He should not call his father by name, he should not walk ahead of him, he should not sit until his father has seated himself and he should not do such acts as a result of which people abuse his father.”25

The Greatest Obligatory Act

The Commander of the Faithful (peace be upon him) has said: “Goodness towards (one’s) parents is the greatest obligatory act.”26

Forgiveness Of Sins

Imam Al-Sajjad (peace be upon him) has related, “Once a person approached the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) and said: ‘O’ Messenger of God! I have committed every known evil act. Is there a chance that I may be forgiven?’ The Messenger of God asked him, ‘Are any of your parents still alive?’ The man replied, ‘My father.’ He said to him, ‘Go and be good and kind to him.’ When he left, the Messenger of God muttered, ‘If only his mother had been alive.’”27

Be Good Even To Evil Parents

Imam Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) has said: “There are three things which God, the Mighty and the Glorious has not permitted anyone to forsake: returning a trust to its owner, irrespective of whether he is a good person or an evil one; fulfilling one’s promises and covenants, irrespective of whether it has been made to a good person or an evil one; being good and kind towards one’s parents, irrespective of whether they are good or evil.”28

The Happiness Of God

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “Goodness towards parents is an indication of a person’s excellent cognizance of God. This is because there is no worship that can take a person towards the happiness of God faster than exhibiting respect towards his faithful parents for the sake of God.”29

The Best Of Deeds

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “The best deeds are: prayer (Salat) in its stipulated hour, goodness towards parents and Jihad in the way of God.”30

Benefits Of Kindness Towards Parents

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) [addressing one of his companions], said: “O’ Muyassir! On several occasions, your end had drawn near, but on each occasion, God delays your death due to your acts of establishing bonds of kinship with your relatives (Silat al-Rahim). If you desire to have your life-span increased, exhibit goodness and kindness towards your parents.”31

As You Sow So Shall You Reap!

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “Be good towards your parents and your children will be good towards you. (And) Look upon the womenfolk of others with purity (in conduct and intention) and your womenfolk will be looked upon with purity.”32

Meaning Of Good Conduct

A person once asked Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) about the meaning of the words of God (in the Qur’an): “And be good to parents.”33 The Imam (peace be upon him) replied, “Being good to them means to accompany them in a good manner and never to wait for them to ask you for what they need, even though they are rich.” Then Imam said: “Do not cast your gaze upon them except with love and compassion; do not raise your voice above theirs; do not raise your hands above theirs; do not walk ahead of them.”34

On Behalf Of Parents

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) had said: “What prevents a person from doing good to his parents - whether alive or dead - by offering prayers, giving charity, performing Hajj on behalf of them, (knowing that) the rewards of these acts are also granted to him, in addition to his parents? Besides, due to his good deeds and prayers (for them), God, the Mighty and the Glorious, shall grant him abundant good.”35

A Stern Look

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “Had God known of a thing more trivial and insignificant than the word "fie"36 (‘ugh’), he would have forbidden it (to be spoken to the parents). Uttering ‘ugh’ (to the parents) is the mildest form of ill conduct towards the parents. One of the ways in which a person can be regarded as being disowned by the parents is that he casts a hard and stern look upon them.”37

A Hateful Look

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “God shall not accept the prayers of a person who looks at his parents with hatred, even if they have been unfair to him!”38

Do Not Quarrel

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “There are three individuals that whoever argues with them shall suffer humiliation and disgrace: one’s father; a (just) ruler; and one in debt.”39

The Great Sin

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has stated, “Becoming disowned by one’s parents is one of the Great Sins. This is because God, the Mighty and the Glorious, has termed such a person disobedient and wretched40.”41

The Great Rank Of Parents

Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him) has said: “God, the Mighty, the Glorious, has commanded three things with which he has associated three other things. He associated payment of zakat along with prayers such that one who offers prayers but desists from offering zakat, his prayers are rejected. He associated gratitude to Him with gratitude towards parents such that one, who is grateful to God, but ungrateful to his parents, will be deemed as ungrateful to God. He associated righteousness with bonds of kinship such that one who is righteous, but has severed relations with his kin, will be deemed as not being righteous.”42

Do Good To Pagan Parents

In a letter to Ma`mun, Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him) wrote, “To do good to one’s parents is obligatory, even if they are of the polytheists, however, they should not be obeyed in acts that go against the commands of the Creator.”43

- 1. Here the Qur’an just advised about mother because Jesus (peace be upon him) did not have father.

- 2. “Do not say, “Fie” even if they made you angry. Do not shout at them; say noble words and speak so kindly and address them in terms of honor.”

- 3. “Lower for them the wing of humility through mercy.”

- 4. See Qur’an:
رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
“Say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they have raised me when I was small.’” (17:24).

- 5. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 348.
قال الصادق: «أَدْنَى الْعُقُوقِ أُفٍّ وَ لَوْ عَلِمَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ شَيْئاً أَهْوَنَ مِنْهُ لَنَهَى عَنْه».

- 6. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 349.
قال الصادق: «مَنْ نَظَرَ إِلَى أَبَوَيْهِ نَظَرَ مَاقِتٍ وَ هُمَا ظَالِمَانِ لَهُ لَمْ يَقْبَلِ اللَّهُ لَهُ صَلَاةً».

- 7. He was not his real father, but he was his uncle who had raised Abraham.

- 8. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, 162.
قُلْتُ لِأَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّه إِنَّ أَبِي قَدْ كَبِرَ جِدّاً وَ ضَعُفَ فَنَحْنُ نَحْمِلُهُ إِذَا أَرَادَ الْحَاجَةَ فَقَالَ: «إِنِ اسْتَطَعْتَ أَنْ تَلِيَ ذَلِكَ مِنْهُ فَافْعَلْ وَ لَقِّمْهُ بِيَدِكَ فَإِنَّهُ جُنَّةٌ لَكَ غَدا»ً.

- 9. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 160.
قالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«فَقِرَّ مَعَ وَالِدَيْكَ فَوَ الَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ لَأُنْسُهُمَا بِكَ يَوْماً وَ لَيْلَةً خَيْرٌ مِنْ‏ جِهَادِ سَنَةٍ».

- 10. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 70.
سَأَلْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّه أَيُّ الْأَعْمَالِ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ قَالَ: «الصَّلَاةُ لِوَقْتِهَا قُلْتُ ثُمَّ أَيُّ شَيْ‏ءٍ قَالَ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ قُلْتُ ثُمَّ أَيُّ شَيْ‏ءٍ قَالَ الْجِهَادُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَل»‏.

- 11. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 73.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«مَا وَلَدٌ بَارٌّ نَظَرَ إِلَى أَبَوَيْهِ بِرَحْمَةٍ إِلَّا كَانَ لَهُ بِكُلِّ نَظْرَةٍ حِجَّةٌ مَبْرُورَة».

- 12. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 467.
قالَ رَسولُ اللَّه: «العَبدُ المُطيعُ لِوالِدَيهِ وَ لِرَبِّهِ فِي أعلَى عِليّين».

- 13. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 468.
قالَ رَسولُ اللَّه: «مَن حَجَّ عَن والِدَيهِ أو قَضَى عَنهُما مَغرَماً بَعَثَهُ اللهُ يَومَ القِيامَةِ مَعَ الأَبرَار.

- 14. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 470.
قالَ رَسولُ اللَّه: «مَن أَرضَى وَالِدَيه فَقَد أرضى الله، وَ مَن أَسخَطَ وَالِدَيهِ فَقَد أَسخَطَ الله».

- 15. Al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 361.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«سِرْ سَنَتَيْنِ بَرَّ وَالِدَيْكَ سِرْ سَنَةً صِلْ رَحِمَك‏».

- 16. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 475.
قال رسول اللَّه: «مَنْ سَرَّهُ أَنْ يُمَدَّ لَهُ‏ فِي‏ عُمُرِهِ‏ وَ يُبْسَطَ رِزْقُهُ فَلْیُبرْ أَبَوَيْهِ وَ لْيَصِلْ ذَا رَحِمِه‏».

- 17. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 80.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«نَظَرُ الْوَلَدِ إِلَى وَالِدَيْهِ حُبّاً لَهُمَا عِبَادَة».

- 18. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 468.
قالَ رَسُولَ اللَّه: «مَن زَارَ قَبرَ وَالِدَيهِ أو أَحَدِهمَا فِي كُلِّ جُمعَةٍ غَفَرَ اللهُ لَه وَكَتَبَ بِرّاً».

- 19. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 348.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«كُنْ بَارّاً وَ اقْتَصِرْ عَلَى الْجَنَّةِ وَ إِنْ كُنْتَ عَاقّاً فَظّاً فَاقْتَصِرْ عَلَى النَّار».

- 20. Al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 372.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«مَنْ أَحْزَنَ وَالِدَيْهِ فَقَدْ عَقَّهُمَا».

- 21. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 349.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«إِيَّاكُمْ‏ وَ عُقُوقَ‏ الْوَالِدَيْنِ‏ فَإِنَّ رِيحَ الْجَنَّةِ تُوجَدُ مِنْ مَسِيرَةِ أَلْفِ عَامٍ وَ لَا يَجِدُهَا عَاقٌّ وَ لَا قَاطِعُ رَحِم‏».

- 22. Al-Amali (Mufid), p. 237.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«ثَلَاثَةٌ مِنَ الذُّنُوبِ تُعَجَّلُ‏ عُقُوبَتُهَا وَ لَا تُؤَخَّرُ إِلَى الْآخِرَةِ عُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَ الْبَغْيُ عَلَى النَّاسِ وَ كُفْرُ الْإِحْسَان».‏

- 23. It shows the importance of mother. In another hadith, the Prophet has said: “Heaven lies under mother’s feet.” (Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 434)

- 24. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 160.
جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَنْ أَبَرُّ؟ قَالَ: «أُمَّكَ» قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «أُمَّكَ» قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «أُمَّكَ» قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «أَبَاك».‏

- 25. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 159.
سَأَلَ رَجُلٌ رَسُولَ اللَّه مَا حَقُّ الْوَالِدِ عَلَى وَلَدِهِ؟ قَالَ: «لَا يُسَمِّيهِ بِاسْمِهِ وَ لَا يَمْشِي بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ وَ لَا يَجْلِسُ قَبْلَهُ وَ لَا يَسْتَسِبُّ لَه‏».

- 26. Ghurar Al-Hikam, p. 312.
قال امیرالمؤمنین: «بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ‏ أَكْبَرُ فَرِيضَةٍ».

- 27. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 82.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«فَهَلْ مِنْ وَالِدَيْكَ أَحَدٌ حَيٌّ؟ قَالَ أَبِي قَالَ فَاذْهَبْ فَبَرَّهُ قَالَ فَلَمَّا وَلَّى قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص لَوْ كَانَتْ‏ أُمُّهُ‏».

- 28. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 162.
عَنْ أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ قَالَ: «ثَلَاثٌ لَمْ يَجْعَلِ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ لِأَحَدٍ فِيهِنَّ رُخْصَةً أَدَاءُ الْأَمَانَةِ إِلَى الْبَرِّ وَ الْفَاجِرِ وَ الْوَفَاءُ بِالْعَهْدِ لِلْبَرِّ وَ الْفَاجِرِ وَ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ‏ بَرَّيْنِ‏ كَانَا أَوْ فَاجِرَيْنِ».

- 29. Mesbah al-Shariah, p. 70.
قَالَ الصادق: «بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ مِنْ حُسْنِ مَعْرِفَةِ الْعَبْدِ بِاللَّهِ إِذْ لَا عِبَادَةَ أَسْرَعُ بُلُوغاً بِصَاحِبِهَا إِلَى رِضَى اللَّهِ مِنْ حُرْمَةِ الْوَالِدَيْنِ الْمُؤْمنَيْنِ لِوَجْهِ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى».‏

- 30. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 158.
قالَ الصادق: «أَفْضَلُ الْأَعْمَالِ الصَّلَاةُ لِوَقْتِهَا وَ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ‏ وَ الْجِهَادُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ».

- 31. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 84.
قَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّه:«يَا مُيَسِّرُ قَدْ حَضَرَ أَجَلُكَ غَيْرَ مَرَّةٍ وَ لَا مَرَّتَيْنِ كُلَّ ذَلِكَ يُؤَخِّرُ اللَّهُ أَجَلَكَ لِصِلَتِكَ قَرَابَتَكَ وَ إِنْ‏ كُنْتَ‏ تُرِيدُ أَنْ‏ يُزَادَ فِي‏ عُمُرِكَ‏ فَبَرَّ شَيْخَيْكَ يَعْنِي أَبَوَيْهِ».

- 32. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 554.
قَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّه:بَرُّوا آبَاءَكُمْ يَبَرَّكُمْ أَبْنَاؤُكُمْ وَ عِفُّوا عَنْ نِسَاءِ النَّاسِ تَعِفَّ نِسَاؤُكُمْ».

- 33. Qur’an; 2:83 & 4:36 & 6:151 & 17:23.

- 34. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 157.
سَأَلْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّه عَنْ قَوْلِ اللَّهِ‏ «وَ بِالْوالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً». فَقَالَ: «الْإِحْسَانُ أَنْ تُحْسِنَ صُحْبَتَهُمَا وَ لَا تُكَلِّفَهُمَا أَنْ يَسْأَلَاكَ شَيْئاً هُمَا يَحْتَاجَانِ إِلَيْهِ وَ إِنْ كَانَا مُسْتَغْنِيَيْن ... لَا تَمْلَأْ عَيْنَيْكَ مِنَ النَّظَرِ إِلَيْهِمَا إِلَّا بِرَحْمَةٍ وَ رِقَّةٍ وَ لَا تَرْفَعْ صَوْتَكَ فَوْقَ أَصْوَاتِهِمَا وَ لَا يَدَيْكَ فَوْقَ أَيْدِيهِمَا وَ لَا تَتَقَدَّمْ قُدَّامَهُمَا‏».

- 35. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 159.
قالَ الصادق: «مَا يَمْنَعُ الرَّجُلَ مِنْكُمْ أَنْ يَبَرَّ وَالِدَيْهِ حَيَّيْنِ وَ مَيِّتَيْنِ يُصَلِّيَ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَتَصَدَّقَ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَحُجَّ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَصُومَ عَنْهُمَا فَيَكُونَ الَّذِي صَنَعَ لَهُمَا وَ لَهُ مِثْلُ ذٌلِكَ فَيَزِيدَهُ اللٌّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ بِبِرِّهِ وَ صِلَتِهِ خَيْراً كَثِيراً».

- 36. Allusion to the Qur’an; 17:23.

- 37. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 349.
عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ قَالَ: «لَوْ عَلِمَ اللٌّهُ شَيْئاً أَدْنَى مِنْ أُفٍّ لَنَهَى عَنْهُ وَ هُوَ مِنْ أَدْنَى الْعُقُوقِ وَ مِنَ الْعُقُوقِ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ الرَّجُلُ إِلَى وَالِدَيْهِ فَيُحِدَّ النَّظَرَ إِلَيْهِمَا».

- 38. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 349.
عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّه قَالَ: «مَنْ نَظَرَ إِلَى أَبَوَيْهِ نَظَرَ مَاقِتٍ وَ هُمَا ظَالِمَانِ لَهُ لَمْ يَقْبَلِ اللَّهُ لَهُ صَلَاةً».

- 39. Al-Khisal, vol. 1, p. 195.
قَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّه:«ثَلَاثَةٌ مَنْ عَازَّهُمْ ذَلَّ الْوَالِدُ وَ السُّلْطَانُ‏ وَ الْغَرِيمُ»‏.

- 40. Allusion to the Qur’an; 19:14 & 19:32.

- 41. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 71, p. 74.
عَنِا الصَّادِقِ قَالَ: «عُقُوقُ‏ الْوَالِدَيْنِ‏ مِنَ‏ الْكَبَائِرِ لِأَنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ جَعَلَ الْعَاقَّ عَصِيّاً شَقِيّاً».

- 42. Al-Khisal, vol. 1, p. 156.
عَنْ أَبِي الْحَسَنِ الرِّضَا 7 قَالَ: «إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ أَمَرَ بِثَلَاثَةٍ مَقْرُونٍ بِهَا ثَلَاثَةٌ أُخْرَى أَمَرَ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَ الزَّكَاةِ فَمَنْ صَلَّى وَ لَمْ يُزَكِّ لَمْ تُقْبَلْ مِنْهُ صَلَاتُهُ وَ أَمَرَ بِالشُّكْرِ لَهُ وَ لِلْوَالِدَيْنِ‏ فَمَنْ لَمْ يَشْكُرْ وَالِدَيْهِ لَمْ يَشْكُرِ اللَّهَ وَ أَمَرَ بِاتِّقَاءِ اللَّهِ وَ صِلَةِ الرَّحِمِ فَمَنْ لَمْ يَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ لَمْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ».

- 43. Uyun Akhbar Al-Ridha’, vol. 2, p. 124.
«بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَاجِبٌ وَ إِنْ كَانَا مُشْرِكَيْنِ وَ لَا طَاعَةَ لَهُمَا فِي مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِق».‏

Parental Responsibility

As parents have rights over their offspring, children also have rights over their parents. The Qur’an states that every person should pay attention to his family.

“And bid your family to prayer and be steadfast in its maintenance. We do not ask any provision of you. It is We who provide for you, And the good end is for the righteous.” (Qur’an, 20:132).

“And mention in the Book Ishmael. Indeed, he was true to his promise, an apostle, and a prophet. He used to bid his family to [maintain] the prayer and to [pay] the zakat (alms), and was pleasing to his Lord.” (Qur’an, 19: 54-55).

“O you who have faith! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Qur’an, 66:6).

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said about this verse, “(It means) Bid them what God likes, and forbid them what He does not like.”1 He also said: “Know that every one of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and is responsible for it … so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care. ”2

The Qur’an says about the mother of Mary that she was concerned about her child upbringing, even before her birth, and dedicated her to Almighty God,

“When the wife of Imran said: “My Lord, I dedicate to You what is in my belly, in consecration. Accept it from me; indeed, You are the All-hearing, the All-knowing.” … Therefore Her Lord accepted her with His gracious acceptance and made her grow pure and graceful, growing [to be a mother of God’s Messenger].” (Qur’an, 3: 35-37)

Rearing The Child

Rearing the Child 3

One of the important duties of parents is caring for their children. This is not an easy task but one, which is very sensitive and vital. It is the most sacred and most valuable responsibility, which has been bestowed upon parents by the order of creation. The existence of a child is the fruit of the marital tree and a natural desire of men and women. A marriage without a child is like a fruitless tree. A child would strengthen the bonds of love between couples. It encourages the parents to care for their family. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “A pious child is a sweet-smelling plant from among the plants of Paradise.”4
One of the most important duties of parents about their children is teaching and showing them the right path and what is right and wrong.

Although both the parents should share this responsibility, it weighs more heavily on the shoulders of mothers. This is because a mother is able to constantly protect and monitor her child. If mothers, through a correct program try to bring up their children, then a whole nation and even the world would undergo revolutionary changes. Thus, the progress or deterioration of a society is in the hands of mothers. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) stated, “The Paradise is under the feet of mothers.”5

The excellent examples of teaching and training of children are found in the words of Luqman and some of the prophets to their children, related in the Qur’an:

“Luqman said to his son, as he advised him, “O my dear son, do not ascribe any partners to God. Polytheism is indeed a great injustice.” (Qur’an, 31:13).6

“Abraham enjoined this [creed] upon his children, and [so did] Jacob [saying], “My children! God has indeed chosen this religion for you; so never die except as Muslims (surrendered).” (Qur’an, 2:132).

These are model examples of parental responsibility and advice. They guide their children on the path to paradise with simple but memorable words.

As the major problems in life are spiritual problems and thus require spiritual solutions, parents should help their children to observe the principles of honor, worship, relationship, gifts, spiritual strength, faith, hope, charity, endurance, mercy, forgiveness, and salvation. They should help their children see and experience the unconditional love of God in every aspect of their lives.

Children who demonstrate compassion, respect, responsibility, perseverance, initiative, and integrity have parents who have demonstrated these qualities on a regular basis. In value-centered homes, children not only observe moral decision-making but they are also taught the ethical decision-making skills.

The Qur’an asks parents to inform their children about ethical rules and to train them when they are young the modesty, and morality,

“O you who believe, let those who are your dependents and have not yet attained puberty request your permission regarding three times: Before the Dawn assembly, and during the noon-time when you put-off your outer garments, and after the Evening assembly. These are three private times for you. Other than these times, it is not wrong for you or them to invite or visit others. God thus clarifies the revelations for you. God is all-knowing, all-wise. ” (Qur’an, 24:58).

“Moreover, when the children among you reach puberty, then they must still seek both your permission like those who were before them did also. God thus clarifies His revelations for you. God is Knowledgeable, Wise.” (Qur’an, 24:59).

Therefore, in value-centered homes, parents are not just careful about committing sins in front of their children but also they are careful about their privacy.7

The advice and teachings should be comprehensive which contain doctrines, practical laws, and ethical issues. They should be started with the most important issues and must be reasonable. When you are giving your children the reasons, you are indirectly respecting them and they subconsciously understand it. The Qur’an teaches us to talk with our children and illustrate the issue for them:

“He (Jacob) said: “O my dear son, do not relate your vision (dream) to your brothers, or they will scheme against you. The devil is to man a clear enemy.” (Qur’an, 12:5).

The method of advising children is important. Parents should advise not just by tongue and orally, but also by behavior and practically. Their instructions, advice, and commands will profit little unless they are backed up by the pattern of their own life. Children will never believe that their parents are in earnest, and really wish their children to obey them, so long as their actions contradict their counsel. Therefore, parents themselves should practice what they say. The Qur’an says:

“ Do you order the people to do good, but forget yourselves, while you are reciting the Scripture? Do you not understand ?” (Qur’an, 2:44).

The Qur’an teaches that we as human need models, and so it introduces some models:

“There is certainly a good exemplar for you in Abraham and those who were with him.” (Qur’an, 60:4).

“In the Apostle of God there is certainly for you a good exemplar.” (Qur’an, 33:21).

“And God cites as an example of those who believed the wife of Pharaoh, also Mary, the daughter of Imran who maintained her chastity.” (Qur’an, 66:11).

The best models for children are their parents. Children especially in the first seven ages, learn through the behavior of their parents, so they should try to be a role model for their kids and their teachings should be more practically. It is good to involve children in daily acts especially in religion practices. As Abraham (peace be upon him) did this with his son:

“We charged Abraham and Ishmael, “Purify My House for those who go around it.” … As Abraham raised the foundations of the House with Ishmael, [they prayed], “Our Lord, accept it from us! Indeed, You are the All-hearing, the All-knowing.” (Qur’an, 2:125).

The advice must be expressed gently and respectfully. The Qur’an says about the prophets that they spoke to their children kindly and politely,

“ Noah called out to his son, who stood aloof, “O my dear son!” Board with us, and do not be with the faithless !” (Qur’an, 11:42).

“ He (Jacob) said: “My dear son, do not recount your dream to your brothers, lest they should devise schemes against you .’” (Qur’an, 12:5).

“ Luqman said to his son, as he advised him: “O my dear son! Do not ascribe any partners to God. Polytheism is indeed a great injustice .’” (Qur’an, 31:13).

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Be affectionate to your children and have pity on them. Fulfill your promises to them for they see that you provide for their maintenance.”8

Consultation with children is also a kind of attention and respect to them. The Qur’an says about Abraham (peace be upon him) that he consulted with his child, before doing his mission:

“When he was old enough to assist in his endeavor, he (Abraham) said: “My dear son! I see in a dream that I am sacrificing you. See what you think.” He said: “Father! Do whatever you have been commanded. If God wishes, you will find me to be patient.” (Qur’an, 37:102).

One of the manifestations of respect to children is to treat them justly. Discriminating between children unjustly may corrupt them. The Qur’an says that when the brothers of Joseph felt that their father loves him more than them, they decided to kill their brother:

“They said: ‘Surely Joseph and his brother are dearer to our father than us, though we are a hardy group. Our father is indeed in manifest error’. ” (Qur’an, 12:8).

“‘Kill Joseph or cast him in the land, then your father’s favor will be all yours’.” (Qur’an, 12:9).

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “Treat your children justly as you would like them to treat you justly.”9

One of the duties of parents towards their children that reflect the parental attention as well is praying for them. The Qur’an has mentioned some of the prayers of the faithful for their children:

“ The believers are those who pray to God saying, Our Lord! Grant us comfort in our spouses and descendants, and make us the role models of the righteous .” (Qur’an, 25:74).

“ My Lord! … Grant me righteous Offspring and make my progeny be righteous .” (Qur’an, 46:15).

“ And when Abraham said: “My Lord! Make this city a sanctuary, and save me and my children from worshiping idols .’” (Qur’an, 14:35).

“ My Lord! Make me a maintainer of the prayer, and my descendants too. Our Lord, accept my supplication .” (Qur’an, 14:40).

“ I have named her Mary, and (I pray that You will keep her and) I commend her and her offspring to Your care against [the evil of] the outcast Satan .” (Qur’an, 3:36).

Good Relationship

The relationship between parents and their children is so important. Warm and loving interaction between parents and their children prepare them well for things they will come across later in their life, like working through problems, dealing with stress and forming healthy relationships with other people in adolescence and adulthood.

There are some steps to develop a good parent and child relationship:

Spend Plenty Of Time With Your Child

Parents should spend plenty of time with their children because this will later ensure that they know they are being cared for and loved. This will also lead to a nice atmosphere in the house.

Avoid Holding Grudges Or Malice Against Your Child

No matter how badly your child behaves, your love for them should never wilt. Consider your child and their behavior as two different matters: this way you can hate the wrongdoings, yet love your child with all your heart. Love them no matter how the odds are stacked against them or what their attitude is. Therefore, show your child great love, but tell them that something they did is not right when a need for that arises. Never agree to the fault of your child simply because they are yours.

Monitor Your Child’s Attitude

Parents should monitor their children’s attitude, but that does not mean you should poke your nose in their affairs. Remember, ask them questions about certain things you need to know always with a mild voice.10 As a parent, you have every right to know your child’s affair and monitor your child’s life but that does not imply poke nosing. When a parent pokes nose on its child affair, it will make the latter to be secretive and when your child starts being secretive, he will no longer trust telling you things and will go on trusting the friends who will handle him or her wrong advice that will lead to troubles and regret in the future.11

Build Trust With Your Child

The relationship between parents and their children has to be built on trust. Trust is the basis on which parents can enjoy a lifetime of togetherness with their children. It is a fundamental building block of parent-child relationships, especially as children develop into teenagers. Trust is a two-way street and as parents want to be trusted, children need their parent’s trust as well. Trusting in children cause self-confidence in them and makes them trust their parents, and accept their advice. Parents should not say to their children that they do not trust in them. In the Qur’an, we read that even though Jacob knew that his sons want to devise schemes against Joseph, did not inform them about his distrust,

“They said: “Our father, why do you not trust us with Joseph, we are to him well-wishers. Send him with us tomorrow to enjoy and play,12 and we will take care of him.” He said: “It saddens me that you should take him, and I fear that the wolf would eat him if you would be absent from him.” (Qur’an: 12: 11-13).

It is better that parents accept the excuse of their kids and forgive them; it is a good way to build trust. The Qur’an says about Jacob (peace be upon him) and his sons,

“They (sons of Jacob) said: “Father! Plead with God for the forgiveness of our sins! We have indeed been erring.” He (Jacob) said: “I shall plead with my Lord to forgive you; indeed He is the All-forgiving, the All-merciful.’” (Qur’an, 12: 97-98).

Such a father rears a son like Joseph who accepts the excuse of his brothers easily and overlooks their misdeed:

“ He (Joseph) said: “ There shall be no reproach on you today. God will forgive you, and He is the most merciful of the merciful .’” (Qur’an, 12:92).

Conclusion

As it mentioned, Almighty God creates children with pure innate nature, and whatever defects that happen later are the result of wrong education. That is why Islam has ordered parents to take care of their children and to bring them up according to the Islamic manners. Parents bear the responsibility to raise up their children in the correct method and the right way. If they do that, they will be blessed in this life and in the Hereafter, and if they do not, they will get bad result during their life and in the Hereafter. The good education and training mean the physical, mental, and moral preparation of the child so he can become a righteous individual in the society.

Methods of moral upbringing can be summarized as follows:

• Showing the values of good deeds and their effects on the individuals and society; also showing the effects of bad deeds, all within the child’s capability of understanding.

• Being a good practical model, as children like to imitate their parents in their sayings and their deeds.

• Teaching children the religious principles and tutoring them in worship, taking into account their capability of understanding.

• Treating children nicely and kindly.13

• Teaching children to choose the good company and to avoid the bad one, and helping them to choose good friends. Because children are always influenced by the company they keep. The good or bad behavior can be easily transmitted through the good or bad company.14

• Encouraging the child’s sense of belonging to the believers’ community, by teaching him to care for believers in any land.

• Building in children the feeling of love of Almighty God, and love of His Prophets, believers, and all people. This love will lead to special behavior towards all those loved.

These are general guidelines to raise children in an Islamic way.

Traditions

Parents’ responsibilities for the care and upbringing of their children are mentioned in several Hadiths as well as verses of the Qur’an. Here are some of them:

Do Not Be The Cause Of Disinheriting The Child

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “God’s curse on such parents who become the cause of disinheriting their child. As are the child disinherited for their disobedience so also it is possible that the parents may be disowned by the child for not fulfilling their bonding duties.”15

Do Good To Your Child

Imam Al-Sajjad (peace be upon him) said: “Your child have the right that you consider if they are good or they are bad, you have been the cause of their birth and the world recognizes them as your offspring. It is your responsibility that you teach them good manners and guide them toward the recognition and obedience of their Lord. Your behavior towards your child must be of a person who believes that a good deed shall get a suitable reward and ill-treatment shall call for retribution.”16

Gladden The Family

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “When a person makes his family happy, God creates a being from that pleasure who asks forgiveness for him until the Day of Resurrection.”17

Bring A Gift

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Whenever one of you returns from a trip, bring a gift for your family, even if it is a piece of stone.”18

Eat With Your Family

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “God loves the believer and his wife and children. And the most popular thing in the sight of God is to see the husband with his wife and his children eating together so when they gather God blesses them and forgives them before they disperse.”19

Pray With Family

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “Any time my father had a problem he gathered his family and prayed, and they said amen.”20

Save Your Family

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) recited this verse: “O you who have faith! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Qur’an, 66:6). His companions asked, “How could we protect them?” Prophet answered, “Bid them what God likes, and forbid them what He does not like.”21

Be Affectionate To Your Children

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Be affectionate to your children and have pity on them. Fulfill your promises to them for they see that only you provide for their maintenance.”22

Behave Generously

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “There are a group of angels who Almighty God commands them to call twice every day, before sunrise and sunset: ‘beware! If anyone behaves with his family and neighbors generously, God will behave with him generously and give him more in this world. Beware! One who is tight (with his family and neighbors), God will make him feel the squeezing in the grave.’”23

Start With Your Dependents

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “The upper hand is better than the lower hand, and start with your dependents.” (The giver is better than the receiver and beggar)24

Go Back To Your Family Soon

Go Back to Your Family Soon 25

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Whenever one of you travels to the Shrine for Pilgrimage after performing his Hajj, he should go back to his family soon, for this increases his reward.”26

Refrain From Unlawful Earning

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “Unlawful (Haram) earning will show itself in offspring.”27

The Right Of The Child To The Father

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “The right of the child to his father28 is: Choosing him a good name, teaching him good manners and establish for him a proper position in life.”29

The Best Gift

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “The best gift a father provide to his child is good manners.”30

Do Not Eat Alone

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Among the worst men among you are those who accuse people, eat lonely, beat their subordinates, neglect their dependents so they need others, are barefaced, foul-mouthed and stingy.”31

Consider The Family’s Interest

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “It is not good for a man to choose some food exclusively for himself and deprive his family.”32

Protect Your Offspring From Satan

Protect Your Offspring from Satan 33

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Before beginning sexual relations with your wife say, “In the name of God. O’ God! Protect us from Satan and also protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. the coming offspring) from Satan” and if it is destined that you should have a child then, Satan will never be able to harm that offspring.”34

Provide Means Of Comfort To Her

Provide Means of Comfort to Her 35

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “To whomsoever, a daughter is born should strive to impart norms of good behavior to her and make efforts to educate her. Provide means of comfort to her that she becomes a cause of his deliverance from the Hell Fire.36

Start With The Daughter

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Everyone who buys fruit at the market and brings it for his children, he is as one who has carried charity. He should begin with his daughters because Almighty God is sympathetic towards girls. Everyone who is sympathetic towards girls is like the one who cries for the fear of God. Moreover, everyone who cries for the fear of God will be forgiven, and the one who makes a female happy, God will make him happy on the Day of Sorrow.”37

- 1. Al-Durr Al-Manthur Fi Tafsir Bi’l-Ma’thur, vol. 8, p. 225.

- 2. Warram, vol. 1, p. 6, & al-Bukhari, vol. 3, p. 592.

- 3. Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship. (The Blackwell encyclopedia of social work, Davies Martin)

- 4. Al-Kafi, vol. 6, p. 3.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«إِنَّ الْوَلَدَ الصَّالِحَ‏ رَيْحَانَةٌ مِنْ رَيَاحِينِ الْجَنَّةِ».

- 5. Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 434.
عَنِ النَّبِيِّ أَنَّهُ قَالَ: «الْجَنَّةُ تَحْتَ‏ أَقْدَامِ‏ الْأُمَّهَات».‏

- 6. The advices of Luqman are as follows:
Not to ascribe any partner to God
To be good and kind to parents
To obey parents unless they command what is wrong
To understand that all our deeds, however minor, are recorded and will be brought to light
To be constant in prayer
To enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong
To bear what befalls him with patience
To avoid pride, arrogance and boastfulness
To be modest in manner and speech

- 7. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said that Man should not have intercourse with his wife while their child is present. (Al-Jafariyat, p. 96).

- 8. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, vol. 15, P. 170, No. 17896.

- 9. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 101, p. 92.

- 10. The Qur’an says, “Lower your voice. Indeed the ungainliness of voices is the donkey’s voice. ” (Qur’an: 31:19).

- 11. Allusion to the Qur’an; 25:27-29.

- 12. This verse shows that children need to play. They learn many things through playing. Therefore, parents should give the child opportunities to play and to experience the excitement of exploration.

- 13. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his pure progeny) taught us that practically. When he was praying as an Imam with the people, his grandson Hasan, son of his daughter Fatimah, (may God be pleased with them) rode his back while he was bowing. The Prophet lengthened his bow. When he finished his prayer, some attending companions said: “You lengthened your bow?” Then the Prophet answered, “My grandson rode my back and I hate hastening him.” (Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 43, p. 294).

- 14. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his pure progeny) warned us by saying, “Man is inclined to get influenced by his friend’s manners, so one must be careful in choosing friends.” (Al-Amali (Tusi), p. 518).

- 15. Makarim al-Akhlaq, p. 443.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لَعَنَ اللَّهُ وَالِدَيْنِ حَمَلَا وَلَدَهُمَا عَلَى عُقُوقِهِمَا. يَلْزَمُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ مِنْ وَلَدِهِمَا مَا يَلْزَمُ الْوَلَدَ لَهُمَا مِنْ عُقُوقِهِمَا».

- 16. Al-Faqih, vol. 2, p. 622.
قال زینُ العابدین: «حَقُّ وَلَدِكَ فَأَنْ تَعْلَمَ أَنَّهُ مِنْكَ وَ مُضَافٌ إِلَيْكَ فِي عَاجِلِ الدُّنْيَا بِخَيْرِهِ وَ شَرِّهِ وَ أَنَّكَ مَسْئُولٌ عَمَّا وَلِيتَهُ بِهِ مِنْ حُسْنِ الْأَدَبِ وَ الدَّلَالَةِ عَلَى رَبِّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ وَ الْمَعُونَةِ لَهُ عَلَى طَاعَتِهِ فَاعْمَلْ فِي أَمْرِهِ عَمَلَ مَنْ يَعْلَمُ أَنَّهُ مُثَابٌ عَلَى الْإِحْسَانِ إِلَيْهِ مُعَاقَبٌ عَلَى الْإِسَاءَةِ إِلَيْه‏».

- 17. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 379, no. 44995.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَن أدخَلَ عَلى أهلِ بَيتِهِ سُرورا، خَلَقَ اللّهُ مِن ذلِكَ السُّرورِ خَلقا يَستَغفِرُ لَهُ إلى يَومِ القِيامَةِ».

- 18. Sunan al-Darqotni, vol. 2, p. 300 & Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 73, p. 283.
قال رسول اللَّه: «إذا قَدِمَ أحَدُكُم مِن سَفَرٍ، فَليَهدِ إلى أهلِهِ وَ ليُطرِفهُم ولَو كانَت حِجارَةً».

- 19. Tanbih al-Ghafelin, p. 343.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إنَّ اللّهَ يُحِبُّ المُؤمِنَ ويُحِبُّ أهلَهُ ووُلدَهُ، وأحَبُّ شَيءٍ إلَى اللّهِ تَعالى أن يَرَى الرَّجُلَ مَعَ امرَأَتِهِ ووُلدِهِ عَلى مائِدَةٍ يَأكُلونَ، فَإِذَا اجتَمَعوا عَلَيها نَظَرَ إلَيهِم بِالرَّحمَةِ لَهُم، فَيَغفِرُ لَهُم قَبلَ أن يَتَفَرَّقوا مِن مَوضِعِهِم».

- 20. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 487.
قال الإمام الصادق: «كانَ أبي عليه السّلام إذا حَزَنَهُ أمرٌ جَمَعَ النِّساءَ وَ الصِّبيانَ ثُمَّ دَعا و أمَّنوا».

- 21. Al-Durr Al-Manthur Fi Tafsir Bi’l-Ma’thur, vol. 8, p. 225.
تَلا رَسولُ اللّهِ هذِهِ الآيَة: «قُواْ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَ أَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا» فَقالوا: يا رَسولَ اللّهِ، كَيف نَقي أهلَنا نارا؟ قالَ: «تَأمُرونَهُم بِما يُحِبُّهُ اللّهُ، وتَنهَونَهُم عَمّا يَكرَهُ اللّهُ».

- 22. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, vol. 15, P. 170.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «بَرُّوا أَوْلَادَكُمْ‏ وَ أَحْسِنُوا إِلَيْهِمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ يَظُنُّونَ أَنَّكُمْ تَرْزُقُونَهُم‏».

- 23. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 6, p. 442.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إنَّ للّهِ عَزَّ وجَلَّ أملاكا تَحتَ عَرشِهِ، ألهَمَهُم أن يُنادوا قَبلَ طُلوعِ الشَّمسِ وقَبلَ غُروبِ الشَّمسِ في كُلِّ يَومٍ مَرَّتَينِ : ألا مَن وَسَّعَ عَلى عِيالِهِ وجيرانِهِ وَسَّعَ اللّهُ عَلَيهِ فِي الدُّنيا، ألا مَن ضَيَّقَ ضَيَّقَ اللّهُ عَلَيهِ قَبرَهُ».

- 24. Al-Kafi, vol. 4, p. 11.
قال رسول اللَّه: «اليَدُ العُليا خَيرٌ مِنَ اليَدِ السُّفلى، وَابدَأ بِمَن تَعولُ».

- 25. Presence of parents in home and being with their family is recommended in Islam.

- 26. Al-Mustadrak al-Sahihayn, vol. 1, p. 650.
قال رسول اللَّه: «إذا قَضى أحَدُكُم حَجَّهُ فَليُعَجِّلِ الرِّحلَةَ إلى أهلِهِ، فَإِنَّهُ أعظَمُ لِأَجرِهِ».

- 27. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 125.
قال الصادقُ :: «كَسْبُ الْحَرَامِ يَبِينُ فِي الذُّرِّيَّةِ».

- 28. Although mother has the main role in raising children but father, also has a direct impact on the well-being and development of children. He has a crucial role to play in the cognitive, social, and emotional development of his children. He can be the source of support to his children and their mother, both financially and emotionally.

- 29. Al-Faqih, vol. 4, P. 372.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «حَقُّ الْوَلَدِ عَلَى وَالِدِهِ أَنْ يُحْسِنَ اسْمَهُ وَ أَدَبَهُ وَ يَضَعَهُ مَوْضِعاً صَالِحا».

- 30. Majma al-Zawaid, vol. 8, p. 159.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَا نَحَلَ وَالِدٌ وَلَدًا أَفْضَلَ مِنْ أَدَبٍ حَسَنٍ».

- 31. Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 292.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إنَّ مِن شِرارِ رِجالِكُمُ البَهّاتَ الجَريءَ الفَحّاشَ، الآكِلَ وَحدَهُ، وَالمانِعَ رِفدَهُ وَ الضارِبَ عَبدَهُ، وَالمُلجِئَ عِيالَهُ إلى غَيرِهِ».

- 32. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 9, p. 221.
قال الإمام الصادق: «لا يَجوزُ لِلرَّجُلِ أن يَخُصَّ نَفسَهُ بِشَيءٍ مِنَ المَأكولِ دونَ عِيالِهِ».

- 33. In accordance with the teachings of Islam, which is a holistic religion that covers all aspects of life, children’s rights come into play even before conception. When man and woman make the decision to marry and start a family, they are securing their future children’s rights.

- 34. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 74, p. 66.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِذَا جَامَعْتَ فَقُلْ: «بِسْمِ اللَّهِ اللَّهُمَ‏ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ‏ وَ جَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنِي فَإِنْ قَضَى أَنْ يَكُونَ بَيْنَكُمَا وَلَدٌ لَمْ يَضُرَّهُ الشَّيْطَانُ أَبَدا».

- 35. In Islam, there is no preference for either a male or a female child. The Qur’an says that both the male and the female were created from a single person (Adam) and that are equal except in terms of piety and righteousness. (Allusion to the Qur’an; 4:1) However, as Islam was revealed at a time when the Arabs practiced infanticide and would often bury their female babies alive, and this was an ignorant practice, the Prophet stated categorically that female children are a blessing and insisted on respecting their rights.

- 36. Majma al-Zawaid, vol. 8, p. 158.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَنْ كَانَتْ لَهُ ابْنَةٌ فَأَدَّبَهَا وَأَحْسَنَ أَدَبَهَا، وَعَلَّمَهَا وَأَحْسَنَ تَعْلِيمَهَا، وَأَوْسَعَ عَلَيْهَا مِنْ نِعَمِ اللَّهِ الَّتِي أَوْسَعَ عَلَيْهِ، كَانَتْ لَهُ مَنَعَةً وَسِتْرًا مِنَ النَّارِ».

- 37. Tanbih Al-Ghafelin, p. 352.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَن حَمَلَ مِنَ السّوقِ طُرفَةً إلى وُلدِهِ، كانَ كَمَن حَمَلَ صَدَقَةً حَتّى يَضَعَها في فيهِم، وَليَبدَأ بِالإِناثِ؛ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ تَعالى يَرِقُّ لِلإِناثِ، ومَن رَقَّ لِلاُنثى كانَ كَمَن بَكى مِن خَشيَةِ اللّهِ، ومَن بَكى مِن خَشيَةِ اللّهِ غُفِرَ لَهُ، ومَن فَرَّحَ اُنثى فَرَّحَهُ اللّهُ يَومَ الحُزنِ».

Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.1

Islam, which has provided the answer to all questions pertaining to human life, did not neglect the issue of marriage. Indeed, Islam attaches much importance to marriage rulings, etiquette, and the spouses’ rights in such a way as to guarantee marital stability and permanence, and create a successful family in which children are brought up enjoying psychological stability, observing devoutness and moral integrity, and displaying excellence in various aspects of life.

Importance Of Marriage In Islam

Marriage is a highly recommended act in Islam and Almighty God has invited people to marry those who are single, and He has promised that He will solve the problems and difficulties. The Qur’an says:

“Marry off those who are single among you ... If they are poor, God will enrich them out of His grace, and God is all-bounteous, all-knowing.” (Qur’an,24:32).

According to this verse of the Qur’an, the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) has said: “Anybody who refuses marriage out of fear of poverty, he entertained an evil thought about Almighty God. God says: ‘If they are poor, God will enrich them out of His grace’ (24:32).”2

He also said: “God had made it obligatory to himself to help those who are married to preserve their chastity.”3 He has invited to help for marriage and has said about its reward, “He who arranges for his brother in faith to get married to a woman whom he takes comfort in; God will marry him with a Houri and He will comfort him through someone he loves among his family and friends.”4 Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said: “The best intercession is to make intercession for two people to get married.”5

From the psychological and psychiatric points of view, sexual deviation, not having a spouse and sexual strains are of the major causes of spiritual and moral or nervous problems. Proper marriage can be the best cure for many diseases haunting the youth being a completing and maturity-creating factor. The anxiety, distress, and boiling sentiments of girls and boys are comforted and soothed through marriage. The Qur’an says:

“And of His signs is that He created for you mates from your own selves that you may take comfort in them, and He ordained affection and mercy between you; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” (Qur’an, 30:21).

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) has said (about the results of marriage), “Marry those who are single among you for verily God will develop their moral traits [through marriage], He will increase their sustenance for them, and will enhance their integrity and gallantry”.6 He also said: “O, young men, those among you who can support a wife (Sexually) should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances) and preserves one from immorality.”7

As various studies have proved that married people remain healthier, physically and mentally, Islam also has always maintained that marriage is beneficial for people in many ways. According to the Islamic teachings, marriage is a way to acquire spiritual perfection. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear God for the other half.”8 He also said: “Whoever wants to meet God pure and immaculate should meet Him accompanied by a spouse.”9 Moreover, he said: “Take up a wife for verily that will bring about an increase in your sustenance.”10

Marriage and family raising imprints such an effect upon the existence of man by upgrading the worth of his personality on the way to its maturity, that even his practices and services become more valued and worthier before Almighty God and the angels so that its value goes up to many times than the previous one. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “A married person sleeping is better in the sight of God than an unmarried person spending his day in the state of fasting and his night in prayer.”11

On another occasion, he said: “The best people of my nation (Ummah) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors.”12 He also said about dead people, “The worst ones from among your dead are the unmarried.”13 Maybe because of these reasons he said: “If the dead singles came back to this world they would marry.”14

Marriage is one of the strongest relationships, which Islam stresses, encourages, and considers as one of the prophets’ practices. The Qur’an says:

“Certainly We have sent apostles before you, and We appointed for them wives and descendants.” (Qur’an, 13:38).

Imam Ali (peace be upon him) has said: “Marry, because marriage is the tradition of the Messenger of God. He used to say, “Whosoever likes to follow my manner and my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition.’”15

Celibacy and monasticism are forbidden in Islam. ‘Uthman bin Maz’un was a close companion of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny). One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained, “O Messenger of God! ‘Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night.” In other words, she meant to say that her husband was avoiding sexual relations during the night as well as the day. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) went to ‘Uthman’s house angry and found him praying. When ‘Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet, he said: “O ‘Uthman! God did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight Shariah. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it, and marriage is one of my traditions.”16

According to the Islamic teachings, marriage is a beloved foundation. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “There is no foundation that has been built in Islam more loved by God, than marriage.”17 This hadith shows the great importance that God Almighty and His Messenger (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) have placed on marriage. It is the most beloved foundation or establishment upon which the faithful man and woman can build their life. If such a foundation is built with love, honesty, sincerity, and true faith in God and all that He has commanded, then there is nothing that could destroy such a firm building.

To sum up, we can say that Islam, unlike other religions is a strong advocate of marriage. Marriage in Islam is a religious duty and is consequently a moral safeguard. It acts as an outlet for sexual need and regulates it so one does not become a slave to his/her desires. Islam takes the middle of the road position to sexual relations, it does not condemn it like some religions, nor does it allow it freely. Islam urges man to control and regulate his desires, whatever they may be so that he remains dignified and not become like animals. The general purpose of marriage is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love to one another, procreate children, and live in peace and tranquility to the commandments of God. Furthermore, marriage is a social necessity because through it, families are established and the family is the fundamental unit of society.

The Right Age To Get Married

Marriage is a solemn covenant (agreement), not a matter, which can be taken lightly. It should be entered into with total commitment and full knowledge of what it involves. It is not like buying a new dress where you can exchange it if you do not like it. Your partner should be your choice for life. One should be mature enough to understand the demands of marriage so that the union can be a lasting one. Therefore, the proper time and age of marrying are when the individual reaches sexual as well as mental maturity. Mental maturity means the capability of establishing a cordial family life and the ability to fulfill rights of family members.

The need for a spouse and raising a family is a natural and instinctive need, which God through His wisdom, has placed in the human being, and it wakes up at its particular time and season and makes its demand. If it is answered on time and properly and its requirement is fulfilled, it traverses its natural course and makes the person perfect. According to the interpretation of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) it is like a fruit whose ripening is its maturity and adult age.

He has said: “The archangel Gabriel descended to me and said: O Muhammad, verily your lord extends salutations to you and says, Verily the virgins from among your women are as fruits on a tree, which when they ripen must be plucked otherwise the sun rots them and the wind alters them. So when young women reach the marriageable age they have no other recourse apart from husbands, otherwise, they will not be safe from corruption.”18 He also said: “When any young person gets married at the prime of his youth, his inner Satan cries out in rage, Woe unto him! He has secured his faith against me.”19

Therefore, although the Qur’an does not give the right time for marriage, neither an ideal age to marry, but Islam highly recommends the early marriage and commands believers to marry as soon as they reach puberty and maturity.

Selection Of A Spouse

The romantic notions that young people often have, have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. Romance and puppy love die out very quickly when they have to deal with the real world. Therefore, in Islam, there is no physical relationship and no concept of courtship before marriage.

The irony is that statistically arranged marriages prove to be more successful and lasting than romantic types of courtship. This is because love by the physical attraction blinds people to potential problems in the relationship, and when they are blinded, do not choose the compatible partner. Arranged marriages, on the other hand, are based not on physical attraction or romantic notions but rather on critical evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. Islam asks people to look for some particular characteristics, not just try to get the best from the worldly point of view.20 Therefore, The Sharia permits the intended spouses to see each other for the purpose of selection and permits asking about each other.

Now the question is: What are the guidelines provided by Islam to select a spouse? With what sort of qualities, standards, and criterions, we may lead a prosperous life with each other, and be the cause of each other’s progress, completion, and comfort?

Compatibility

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) gave no recognition to class distinction, but in marriage, he has stressed upon compatibility.21 There should be equality between marrying partners to avoid unnecessary misgivings later. For example, it is better for a religious woman who is committed to laws and principles to marry a man like herself.

A man questioned the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny), “Whom must we marry?” the Prophet replied, “The suitable (matches).” He asked, “Who are the suitable matches?” The Prophet responded, “Some of the faithful are matched for others.”22 This is what the Qur’an says:

“Vicious women are for vicious men and vicious men for vicious women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women.” (Qur’an, 24:26).

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “An intelligent and wise woman must not be matched except with a sage and wise man.”23 He also said about Fatimah, daughter of Prophet Muhammad and her husband Ali, the successor of the Prophet (peace be upon them), “Had God not created the commander of faithful (Ali), there would have been no match and equivalent on the earth for Fatimah, from the age of Adam to the end.”24

Faith And Religiousness

A man came to the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) to seek guidance in connection with the selection of a spouse. The Prophet said to him, “It is (binding) upon you to have a religious spouse.”25 It shows the importance of faith in selecting the spouse. In another occasion, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, God leaves him in his own condition, and the one who marries her (only) for her beauty, he will find in her (things) which he dislikes (displeasing matters) and the one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness), God will gather up all these things for him.”26

According to the Islamic teachings, faith and morality are more important than wealth. Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him) said: “When someone comes to you with a proposal of marriage and you are well pleased with his faith and his morality, then accept his proposal. Moreover, do not be concerned if he is poor for God says, “God will suffice each of them out of His bounty” (4:130), and says, “If they are poor, God will enrich them out of His grace” (24:32).”27

On the other hand, it has been said about the danger of marrying unfaithful, “Anybody who marries his daughter to a wicked person there will be thousands of curses on him and do not ascend any of his works to the heaven and God does not respond to his prayers.”28 Moreover, Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him) said: “Beware of the marriage with an alcoholic; if you do not do so, it likes you lead to adultery.”29

Morality (Good Nature)

Morality means virtues, good etiquette, and lovely habits from an intellectual and religious point of view.

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said about the virtues and qualities of a suitable and decent spouse, “When someone with whose morality and religion you are pleased comes to you (for marriage), conclude the marriage. If you do not do it, then a great commotion and disturbance and corruption will take place on earth.”30

Hosein-bin-Bashar Al-vaseti says, I wrote to Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him), “A person from among my relatives, who is ill-natured, has asked the hand of my daughter in marriage. What must I do now? Imam replied, “If he is moody do not marry your daughter to him.”31

Family Nobility

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said about the importance of family and the effect of the gene, “Marry into a good tribe for verily what is bred-in-the-bone will come out in the flesh.”32 He also said: “Carefully choose for your seed (semen), for verily women give birth to children who resemble their own brothers and sisters.”33

In another occasion, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “Beware of the verdure growing in manure.” When they asked about the meaning of verdure growing in manure, he replied, “It is the beautiful woman that was raised and brought up in an evil environment and bad family.”34

Reason

Imam Ali (peace be upon him) forbade marrying a foolish and insane person and said: “Beware of marrying a stupid girl for her company is a woe (distress) and her offspring are wasted.”35

Beauty And Health

Though religiousness and piety are very important, it does not mean that we totally disregard the physical appearance and beauty of the prospective spouse. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “When one intends to marry a woman, he should ask about her hair, just as he asks about her face (beauty), since the hair is one of the two beauties (of women).”36

Consent

Islam teaches that consent from both man and woman is necessary before a marriage can take place and for a marriage to be valid, both parties must give their consent freely. The act of forcing someone to marry is in fact, an act that is against the practices and teachings of Islam.37

A man asked the Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny), “O, Messenger of God, there is an orphan with us who has two suitors, one is rich, and the other is poor. We like the rich but she likes the poor? The Messenger of God said: “For then there is nothing better than two lovers to marry.”38 He also has said: “Some of you marry off your daughters to unattractive men by force. (Do not do that,) for they want whom they love.”39 Moreover, Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said: “Do not marry off your daughter unless you ask her, for she knows better about her wants, and if she did not agree do not marry her off.”40

Someone asked Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him), “I love a girl and want to marry her but my parents prefer somebody else (what should I do)? Imam said: “Marry the one who you love.”41

- 1. Cultural Anthropology: The Human Challenge, Haviland, William A.

- 2. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 331.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَن تَرَكَ التَّزويجَ مَخافَةَ العَيلَةِ فَقَد أساءَ ظَنَّهُ بِاللّهِ عَزَّ وجَلَّ، إنَّ اللّهَ عَزَّ وجَلَّ يَقولُ : «إِن يَكُونُواْ فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ».

- 3. Kanz al-Ummal, no. 44443.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «حَقٌّ عَلَى اللّه عَونُ مَن نَكَحَ اِلتِماسَ العَفافِ عَمّا حَرَّمَ اللّهُ».

- 4. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 72, p. 364.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَن زَوَّجَ أخاهُ المؤمنَ امرَأةً يَأنَسُ بِها و تَشُدُّ عَضُدَهُ و يَستَرِيحُ إلَيها، زَوَّجَهُ اللّهُ مِنَ الحُورِ العِينِ و آنَسَهُ بِمَن أحَبَّهُ مِنَ الصِّدِّيقِينَ مِن أهْلِ بيتِهِ و إخوانِهِ و آنَسَهُم بهِ».
In another hadith he said: “Anybody who tries to marry off two believers to each other, God will marry him a lot of Houris in paradise and the reward for each step of him in this way is like the reward of fasting and praying in one year.” (Thawab al-Amal, p.340(.

- 5. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 103, p. 222.
قال الإمامُ عليٌّ: «أفضَلُ الشَّفاعاتِ أن يَشفَعَ بينَ اثنَينِ في نِكاحٍ حتّى يَجمَعَ شَملَهُما».

- 6. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 222.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «زَوِّجُوا أياماكُم، فَإنَّ اللّه يُحسِنُ لَهُم في أخلاقِهِم، و يُوَسِّعُ لَهُم في أرزاقِهِم، و يَزِيدُهُم في مُرُوّاتِهِم».

- 7. Al-Bukhari, vol. 5, p. 1950 & Makarim al-Akhlaq, p. 197.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «يا مَعشَرَ الشَّبابِ، مَنِ استَطاعَ مِنكُمُ الباءَةَ فَليَتَزَوَّج؛ فَإِنَّهُ أغَضُّ لِلبَصَرِ، وأحصَنُ لِلفَرجِ».

- 8. Al-Amali, p. 518.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:مَنْ تَزَوَّجَ فَقَدْ أَحْرَزَ نِصْفَ‏ دِينِهِ‏، فَلْيَتَّقِ اللَّهَ فِي النِّصْفِ الْبَاقِي.

- 9. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 385.
قَالَ النَّبِيُّ: «مَنْ سَرَّهُ أَنْ يَلْقَى‏ اللَّهَ‏ طَاهِراً مُطَهَّراً فَلْيَلْقَهُ بِزَوْجَة».

- 10. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 329.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «اِتَّخِذُوا الأهلَ؛ فإنّه أرْزَقُ لَكُم».

- 11. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p.221.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «المُتَزَوِّجُ النائمُ أفضَلُ عِندَ اللّه مِنَ الصائمِ القائمِ العَزَبِ».

- 12. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, vol. 14, p. 156.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «خِيَارُ أُمَّتِي‏ الْمُتَأَهِّلُونَ‏ وَ شِرَارُ أُمَّتِي‏ الْعُزَّاب‏».

- 13. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 221.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «شِرارُ مَوتاكُمُ العُزّابُ».

- 14. Awali al-Laali, vol. 3, p. 283.
قال رسول اللَّه: «لَو خَرَجَ العُزّابُ مِن أمواتِكُم إلَى الدُّنيا لَتَزَوَّجوا».

- 15. Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 20, p. 15.
عَنْ عَلِيٍّ 7 فِي حَدِيثِ الْأَرْبَعِمِائَةِ قَالَ: «تَزَوَّجُوا فَإِنَّ التَّزْوِيجَ سُنَّةُ رَسُولِ اللَّه‏ فَإِنَّهُ كَانَ يَقُولُ مَنْ كَانَ يُحِبُّ أَنْ يَتَّبِعَ سُنَّتِي فَإِنَّ مِنْ سُنَّتِيَ التَّزْوِيج‏».

- 16. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 495.
جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةُ عُثْمَانَ‏ بْنِ مَظْعُونٍ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ 6 فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ عُثْمَانَ يَصُومُ النَّهَارَ وَ يَقُومُ اللَّيْلَ فَخَرَجَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص مُغْضَباً يَحْمِلُ نَعْلَيْهِ حَتَّى جَاءَ إِلَى عُثْمَانَ فَوَجَدَهُ يُصَلِّي فَانْصَرَفَ عُثْمَانُ حِينَ رَأَى رَسُولَ اللَّه فَقَالَ لَهُ: يَا عُثْمَانُ لَمْ يُرْسِلْنِي اللَّهُ تَعَالَى بِالرَّهْبَانِيَّةِ وَ لَكِنْ بَعَثَنِي بِالْحَنِيفِيَّةِ السَّهْلَةِ السَّمْحَةِ أَصُومُ وَ أُصَلِّي وَ أَلْمِسُ أَهْلِي فَمَنْ أَحَبَّ فِطْرَتِي فَلْيَسْتَنَّ بِسُنَّتِي وَ مِنْ سُنَّتِيَ‏ النِّكَاحُ.

- 17. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 383.
قَالَ رسولُ اللَّه: «مَا بُنِيَ‏ بِنَاءٌ فِي‏ الْإِسْلَامِ‏ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ تَعَالَى مِنَ التَّزْوِيجِ»‏.

- 18. Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 20, p. 62.
نَزَلَ جَبرئيلُ فقالَ: «یا محمّدُ، إنّ رَبَّكَ يُقرِئُكَ السلامَ، و يقولُ: إنّ الأبكارَ مِنَ النساءِ بمَنزِلَةِ الثَّمَرِ على الشَّجَرِ، فإذا أينَعَ الثَّمرُ فلا دَواءَ لَهُ إلاّ اجتِناؤهُ و إلاّ أفسَدَتْهُ الشَّمسُ، و غَيَّرَتْهُ الرِّيحُ، و إنّ الأبكارَ إذا أدرَكنَ ما تُدرِكُ النساءُ فلا دَواءَ لَهُنَ إلاّ البُعُولُ، و إلاّ لَم يُؤمَنْ علَيهِنَّ الفِتنَةُ، فَصَعِدَ رسولُ اللّهِ صلى الله عليه و آله المِنبَرَ فَجَمَعَ الناسَ ثُمّ أعلَمَهُم ما أمَرَ اللّهُ عزّ و جلّ بِهِ».

- 19. Kanz al-Ummal, no. 44441.
قال رسول اللَّه: «أیّما شَابٍ‏ تَزَوَّجَ‏ فِي حَدَاثَةِ سِنِّهِ عَجَّ شَيْطَانُهُ يَقُولُ يَا وَيْلَاهْ عَصَمَ مِنِّي دِينَه»‏.

- 20. Islam teaches us to choose and to marry for the sake of God. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Whoever marries for God and for God took a person into marriage, deserves guardianship and love of God.” (Mahajjah al-Beyda, vol. 3, p. 54)

- 21. It means compatibility in religion, culture, morality, education, and family.

- 22. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 337.
فَقَامَ إِلَيْهِ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ فَمَنْ نُزَوِّجُ فَقَالَ الْأَكْفَاءَ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَ مَنِ الْأَكْفَاءُ فَقَالَ «الْمُؤْمِنُونَ‏ بَعْضُهُمْ‏ أَكْفَاءُ بَعْضٍ‏ الْمُؤْمِنُون‏».

- 23. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 350.
قَالَ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّه‏: «إِنَّ الْعَارِفَةَ لَا تُوضَعُ‏ إِلَّا عِنْدَ عَارِفٍ».

- 24. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 43, p. 107.
عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّه قَالَ: «لَوْ لَا أَنَّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى خَلَقَ أَمِيرَالْمُؤْمِنِينَ لَمْ‏ يَكُنْ‏ لِفَاطِمَةَ كُفْوٌ عَلَى وَجْهِ الْأَرْضِ آدَمُ فَمَنْ دُونَهُ».

- 25. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 332.
أَتَى رَجُلٌ النَّبِيَّ يَسْتَأْمِرُهُ فِي النِّكَاحِ فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«انْكِحْ وَ عَلَيْكَ‏ بِذَاتِ‏ الدِّينِ‏ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ».

- 26. Tahzib al-Akam, vol. 7, p. 400.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَنْ‏ تَزَوَّجَ‏ امْرَأَةً لِمَالِهَا وَكَلَهُ اللَّهُ إِلَيْهِ وَ مَنْ تَزَوَّجَهَا لِجَمَالِهَا رَأَى فِيهَا مَا يَكْرَهُ وَ مَنْ تَزَوَّجَهَا لِدِينِهَا جَمَعَ اللَّهُ لَهُ ذَلِكَ».
In another hadith: “Do not marry women for their beauty because it may corrupt them and do not marry them for their wealth, because it may cause rebellion, so look to marry women for their faith.” (Sunan Ibn Maja’, vol. 1, p. 597).

- 27. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 372.
قال الامامُ الرضا: «إن خَطَبَ إلَيكَ رَجُلٌ رَضِيتَ دِينَهُ و خُلُقَهُ فَزَوِّجْهُ، و لا يَمنَعْكَ فَقرُهُ و فاقَتُهُ، قالَ اللّهُ تعالى : «و إن يَتَفَرَّقا يُغْنِ اللّهُ كُلاًّ مِنْ سَعَتِهِ» و قالَ: «إنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَراءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ».

- 28. Irshad Al-Qulub, p. 174.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَن زَوَّجَ كَريمَتَهُ بِفاسِقٍ، نَزَلَ عَلَيهِ كُلَّ يَومٍ ألفُ لَعنَةٍ، ولا يَصعَدُ لَهُ عَمَلٌ إلَى السَّماءِ، ولا يُستَجابُ لَهُ دُعاؤُهُ، ولا يُقبَلُ مِنهُ صَرفٌ ولا عَدلٌ» .

- 29. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 79, p. 142.
قال الامامُ الرضا: «إيّاكَ أن تُزَوِّجَ شارِبَ الخَمرِ، فإن زَوَّجتَهُ فكأنّما قُدْتَ إلى الزِّنا» .

- 30. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 347.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«إِذَا جَاءَكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ خُلُقَهُ وَ دِينَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ‏ إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوهُ‏ تَكُنْ‏ فِتْنَةٌ فِي‏ الْأَرْضِ‏ وَ فَسادٌ كَبِيرٌ».

- 31. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 563.
عن الحسين بن بشّار الواسطي: كَتَبتُ إلى أبِي الحَسَنِ الرِّضا 7 إنَّ لي قَرابَةً قَد خَطَبَ إلَيَّ وفي خُلُقِهِ شَيءٌ. فَقالَ: «لا تُزَوِّجهُ إن كانَ سَيِّئَ الخُلُقِ» .

- 32. Kanz al-Ummal, no. 44559.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «تَزَوَّجُوا في الحِجْزِ الصالِحِ، فإنّ العِرْقَ دَسّاسٌ».

- 33. Kanz al-Ummal, no. 44557.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «تَخَيَّرُوا لِنُطَفِكُم، فإنَّ النساءَ يَلِدْنَ أشباهَ إخوانِهِنَّ و أخَواتِهِنَّ».

- 34. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 232.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إيّاكُم و خَضْراءَ الدِّمَنِ، قيلَ : يا رسولَ اللّهِ، و ما خَضراءُ الدِّمَنِ ؟ قالَ: المَرأةُ الحَسناءُ في مَنبِتِ السُّوء».

- 35. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 354.
قَالَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ: «إِيَّاكُمْ‏ وَ تَزْوِيجَ‏ الْحَمْقَاءِ فَإِنَّ صُحْبَتَهَا بَلَاءٌ وَ وُلْدَهَا ضِيَاعٌ».

- 36. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 388.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«إِذَا أَرَادَ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَتَزَوَّجَ الْمَرْأَةَ فَلْيَسْأَلْ عَنْ شَعْرِهَا كَمَا يَسْأَلُ عَنْ وَجْهِهَا فَإِنَّ الشَّعْرَ أَحَدُ الْجَمَالَيْنِ».‏

- 37. Forced marriage is a marriage in which one or both of the parties is married without his or her consent or against his or her will. A forced marriage differs from an arranged marriage, in which both parties consent to the assistance of their parents or a third party (such as a matchmaker) in identifying a spouse.

- 38. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 489, no. 45597.
جاءَ رَجُلٌ إلَى النَّبِيِّ فَقالَ: يا رَسولَ اللّهِ، عِندَنا يَتيمَةٌ خَطَبَها رَجُلانِ؛ موسِرٌ ومُعسِرٌ، وهِيَ تَهوَى المُعسِرَ ونَحنُ نَهوَى الموسِرَ »! فَقالَ رَسولُ اللَّه: « لَم يُرَ لِلمُتَحابَّينِ مِثلُ النِّكاحِ».

- 39. Hilyat al-Muttaqin, vol. 7, p. 140.
قال رسول اللَّه: «يَعمَدُ أحَدُكُم إلَى ابنَتِهِ فَيُزَوِّجُهَا القَبيحَ الذَّميمَ! إنَّهُنَّ يُرِدنَ ما تُريدونَ».

- 40. Daaem al-Islam, vol. 2, p. 218.
قال الإمام عليّ: «لا يُنكِح أحَدُكُمُ ابنَتَهُ حَتّى يَستَأمِرَها في نَفسِها، فَهِيَ أعلَمُ بِنَفسِها و إن أبَت لَم يُزَوِّجها».

- 41. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 401.
عن ابن أبي يعفور عن الإمام الصادق 7 قُلتُ لَهُ: إنّي اُريدُ أن أتَزَوَّجَ امرَأَةً وإنَّ أبَوَيَّ أرادا غَيرَها . قالَ 7: «تَزَوَّجِ الَّتي هَوَيتَ، ودَعِ الَّتي يَهوى أبَواكَ» .

Responsibilities Of The Spouses

As it mentioned, the relationship between husband and wife is not like that of, colleagues, neighbors, or friends. They are a source of comfort and peace for each other.1 The Qur’an in a verse regarding husbands and wives states:

“They (women) are a garment for you (men) and you are a garment for them.” (Qur’an, 2:187).

The portrayal of wife and husband as one another’s clothing reflects their close connection and relationship since clothes are the closest of things to one’s body and are greatly needed in order to protect one from heat and cold, to cover imperfections, and confer tranquility and beauty. Wife and Husband are also such in respect with each other and must necessarily be so. Indeed, they are both responsible for the welfare of the family and should engage in anything that is bound to promote marital life and preserve it.

Islam greatly favors fortification of the structure of family and decent relations between spouses, and thus it has designated specific rights and responsibilities for each. Some of these rights and responsibilities are common and pertain to both husband and wife. These are like tolerance, kindness, attracting the attentions of one’s spouse, and refraining from harassing, hurting, and irritating her/his spouse.

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “If a man has a wife who harasses him, God will neither accept her ritual prayer (salat) nor any of her good deeds — until she has pleased him — even if she fasts and prays at all times, emancipates slaves, and gives away her wealth in charity for the sake of God. She will be the first to enter the Fire.” Then he said: “And the husband has the same burden and chastisement if he is a harasser and unjust [in his behavior towards his wife].”2

Responsibility Of The Husband

The Qur’an states:

“The wives have rights similar to the obligations upon them, in accordance with honorable norms.” (Qur’an, 2:228).

Some of the rights of the wife, which are indeed the responsibilities of husband, are as follows.

A. Maintenance And Residence

The wife’s maintenance entails her incontestable right to food, drink, clothing, general care and a suitable home, even if she is wealthy. The husband is duty-bound to support his wife and ought to spend on her in accordance with his means without extravagance or miserliness, as the Qur’an states:

“Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the men whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what God has given him. God puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him.” (Qur’an, 65:7).

He must spend on her in kindness, without ever implying that he is doing her favors or humiliating her in any way whatsoever. Indeed, such maintenance is not a favor but a duty he ought to discharge towards his wife in kindness, as the Qur’an clearly has exhorted him.

When a Muslim man fulfills his duty of supporting his wife and children, this act will be counted as an act of charity and Almighty God will reward him abundantly. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has said: “You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for God’s sake even if it were a morsel of food which you put in your wife’s mouth.”3 He also said: “The rights of a wife regarding her husband are that he must provide her nourishment and clothing and must not appear to her with an ugly face. If he does these, by God, surely he has satisfied her rights.”4

Those who refuse, or neglect their duty to spend on their families despite their ability to do so, committing a great sin for their negligence, as the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “A man who neglects those who are under his care would surely be committing a sin.”5 He also said: “Cursed, are those who neglect their dependents.”6

B. Teaching And Advising

Man must enjoin his family members to act rightly and forbid them to act inappropriately. He ought to strive hard to help them follow the path that leads to Paradise and avoid those paths that lead to Hellfire. Teaching them by precept and example, he can do so by acting on obeying God’s commands and avoiding things, He has prohibited. The wife must also advise her husband, guide him to the right path, and discuss with him ways of giving the best possible upbringing to their children. The Qur’an says:

“O you, who believe, safeguard yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Qur’an, 66:6).

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) also said in this regard, “Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for those in his custody.”7

C. Cleanliness And Adornment

A man must be neat and clean, perfumed and well dressed. He must style his hair and face regularly, and make himself handsome for his wife. Imam Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) has cited the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) through his fathers, “Each of you must prepare yourselves for your wives; just as your wives prepare themselves for you.” Then Imam Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) stated, “This means that each of you must be neat and clean.”8

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) also said: “A Man’s duty to his wife is as the woman’s duty to her husband. He should adorn himself for his wife as she should adorn herself for him as long as they do not commit any sins.”9 Moreover, said: “Wash your clothes, shave your hair, brush your teeth, adorn yourself, for the children of Israel did not perform these rituals, and caused their wives to commit adultery.”10

Hasan ibn al-Jahm narrated, I saw Imam Al-Kazim (peace be upon him) who had dyed his hair. I said: “May I be sacrificed for you! You have dyed your hair!?” He replied, “Yes. Surely, the preparation of a husband for his wife increases her modesty [‘iffat]. Truly some women have abandoned their modesty because their spouses abandoned preparation.” Then he asked, “Do you like to see your wife the way you appear to her when you have not prepared yourself?” I answered, “No.” He declared, “She feels the same.”11

D. Attentiveness To Her Sexual Needs

Husbands and wives must not only think about their own pleasure in lovemaking; rather, they must also consider their partner’s pleasure and gratification. This is because regular sexual satisfaction has a significant effect on good relations between spouses and bolsters the constitution of the family.

Addressing men, the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) declared, “Whenever you approach your wives, do not hurry (in lovemaking).”12 He also said: “Whenever one of you has intercourse with his wife he should arouse her completely. If you have climaxed before her, do not leave until she has also climaxed.”13 Moreover, he said: “It is ill-mannered that man has intercourse with his wife while she is not ready. He should play with her and kiss her first. Do not approach your wife like animals.”14 According to another Hadith, Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him) stated, “Your wives expect from you similar to that which you expect from them.”15

The husband is recommended to spend the night with his wife and must observe the equal division of nights between co-wives in cases of polygamy.

The important point is that as the Qur’an says: spouses are like the garment and should save each other, 16 so the husband and wife must not talk to others about their spouse’s particularities and bedroom secrets. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “The worst person in the eyes of God on the Day of Judgment is that couple who have an intimate relationship with each other and the man then reveals their bedroom secrets to others.”17

Do not Think About Another Woman!

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Do not approach your wife while you think about another woman, because I fear if God gives you a child he may be epicene or effeminate and crazy.”18

E. Honoring The Conditions Stipulated By The Wife

The husband must honor the marriage contract and fulfill the conditions stipulated in it.
If the wife makes a stipulation at the time of concluding the marriage contract, such as having a particular kind of accommodation or expense and the husband agrees to such a condition, he must fulfill such an obligation, for a marriage contract is one of the most solemn agreements and obligations. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “Of all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled.”19

F. Defending Her, Representing His Honor

When a man marries a woman, she becomes his "honor" which he must stubbornly defend even if he gets killed in the process, as the Prophet said: “Whoever is killed defending his family is a martyr.”20

G. Good Behavior

Showing good character, kindness, gentleness in word and deed and putting up with the occasional faults and negligence can be considered as one of the responsibilities of spouses towards each other. The Qur’an states:

“Live together with them courteously and in kindness. If you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something in which God has placed a lot of good.” (Qur’an, 4:19).

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “The believers who have perfect faith are those with the best character, and the best of them are those who treat their women the best.”21 He also said: “The closest of you to me is the one who is best in character and is excellent to his family.”22

A man must make allowances for women’s nature, which is obviously different from that of men; he must also try to look at life from all sides, considering the advantages and disadvantages of his wife, for no one is free from faults. Both spouses must exercise patience and take into account the positive aspects of each other’s personality, as the Qur’an says:

“And to forgo is nearer to God-wariness; so do not forget generosity and grace among yourselves. Indeed God sees best what you do.” (Qur’an, 2:237).

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) also said in this respect, “A believer must not harbor any rancor against a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will certainly be pleased with another.”23

Islam urges men to treat women with kindness, pointing their attention to the fact that women’s emotional and psychological nature is different from that of men, that such differences between men and women are in fact, complementary and must in no way give rise to discord and eventual divorce. Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said: “A Female is a pleasant-smelling flower, not a servant, so in every situation tolerate her, and be a good companion to her for then your life will be pleasing.”24

Even in marital problems, a man should not engage in aggressive or hostile actions against his wife. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “If anyone beats a woman oppressively I will be his enemy in the Hereafter. Do not beat your wives, because if anyone beats his wife verily he has disobeyed God and His messenger.”25 He also said: “I am truly astonished at the man who beats his wife when he is more deserving of the beating than her.”26

Moreover, he said: “Be ashamed of beating your wife as a slave; for you beat her in the morning and then embrace (sleep with) her at night! Are you not ashamed?”27 The Messenger of God himself (as his wife, Aisha has narrated), never hit a woman with his hand, nor a man except when fighting in the path of God.28

To solve marital problems, Islam has proposed some ways, including the following:

• Disputes may be solved through constructive dialogue, advice, and reasonable consultation in order to correct mistakes.

• In cases of rebellion, disloyalty, and ill conduct, the husband may stop talking to her, but without exceeding three days; if this course of action does not seem to work, then he may temporarily abandon her in bed or abstain from the usual sexual intimacy, but without leaving the house.

• The last way is punishment. Of course, this does not mean corporal punishment and beating, as the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has said: “Do not beat your wives with a stick, because it causes retribution, but punish them with hunger (non-payment of maintenance).”29

The Qur’an says:

“As for those wives whose misconduct you fear, [first] advise them, and [if ineffective] keep away from them in the bed, and [as the last resort] punish them. Then if they obey you, do not seek any course [of action] against them. Indeed God is all-exalted, all-great.” (Qur’an, 4:34).

There are many traditions about love and kindness with the wife. Some of them are as follows.

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said:

• “The archangel Gabriel brought down so much advice with regard to the [treatment of the] woman that I thought divorcing her must never be an option unless she has committed adultery.”30

• “A man’s telling his wife “I love you” never leaves her heart.”31

• “Be careful of two weak groups, orphan, and woman; so that the best of you is the one who is best with his wife.”32

• “A man’s sitting beside his family is more beloved in the sight of God than his spending the night in worship in this mosque of mine.”33

• “The servant of God, who increases in belief, will increase in love for his spouse.”34

• “The best of you is the best to his family, and I’m the best to my family. The one who honors women is an honorable man, and the one who insults them, is a wretched.”35

• “My brother Gabriel, (peace be upon him) used to advise me about women to such an extent, that I thought the husband does not have even the right to say "Fie" to his wife. He told me: “O Muhammad be wary of God about women for they are trusts from God unto you. Be kind to them and satisfy their heart to stay with you. It is not lawful for you to take back anything you have given your wives unless with their content and permission.’”36

As a conclusion, it can be said that the prosperity of the family depends on the behavior of a man with his wife. Taking care of one’s wife is like the duty of a woman towards her husband, which is regarded to be at the same level as Jihad,37 is also regarded as a man’s best and most valuable act. The husband must treat his wife in a way that she turns into an angel-like character. He must find out about his wife’s behavior and her desires and must program his life according to her wishes and righteous requests. He can through his own manners and attitude, influence her in a way that interests her in her family life.

Responsibility Of The Wife

A. Obedience

The family is an important social unit whose orderly construction depends on sound discipline and efficient organizing. As there should be someone entrusted to shoulder responsibility over his beloved family and undertake the task of guidance and leadership within its prescribed limits, Almighty God has, therefore, authorized the husband to be obeyed and given him the upper hand over his wife and children, until they come of age.

The purpose of obedience in the relationship is to keep the family unit running as smoothly as possible. The man has been given the right to be obeyed (only with regard to matters that fall under the husband rights) is not because he is the absolute superior but because he is the leader of the family, and if a leader is not obeyed, his leadership will become invalid. The Qur’an says:

“Men have charge of women because God has preferred the one above the other and because they spend their wealth on them. So righteous women are obedient, care taking in the absence [of their husbands] of what God has enjoined them to guard. ” (Qur’an, 4:34).

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) in response to a question about the duty of a woman towards her husband said: “She should obey his orders and must not violate his orders.”38 He also said: “The rights of the husband upon the wife are that … she should not make him angry and should obey him and fulfill her promises ….”39

To show the importance of this obedience the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “If I was in a position to command anyone to prostrate in front of anyone else, I would command the woman to prostrate in front of her husband.”40 Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “Cursed! Cursed indeed is the woman who troubles and distresses her husband, and blessed is the woman who honors her husband, does not trouble him and obeys him in all matters.”41

This authority and obedience, however, is under the condition that man may not issue orders contradicting the commands of religion and its principles. If he orders his family to commit a sinful act, his right lapse and he should not be obeyed. A tradition says, “No creature should be obeyed in disobeying the Creator.”42

B. Protecting His Home, Wealth, And Children

The man is usually the supporter of the family. He works hard and spends his earning on his wife and children. He regards this as his duty and does not ever show his displeasure in his hardship. However, man expects his wife to economize and to classify the necessities and spend on the priorities. In another word, the husband should make the necessary arrangements for the household, and the wife should protect his property during his absence. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) stated, “A woman is a protector and trustee of her husband’s wealth and as such is responsible.”43

Based on Islamic laws, (legally speaking) the wife is not responsible for housekeeping, cooking, cleaning etc., and even it is not compulsory for her to suckle her children, attend them, or nurse them unless the husband states such responsibilities in the conditions of the marriage agreement. Of course, Islam renders these affectionate acts for the woman and considers them good deeds and a way of approaching God.

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “No Muslim got a better benefit from Islam than a Muslim wife who pleases her husband, obeys his orders, and protects his honor and his property during his absence.”44 It has been narrated from Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him) the same words, “There is nothing more beneficial to a servant than a virtuous wife whom seeing her made her husband happy and when he is not with her, she saves herself and his property.”45

C. Attracting His Attentions

Husbands and wives must observe each other’s desires in cleanliness, clothing, the style of their hair and beard, etc.
Islam advises women at home to apply cosmetics and adorn themselves for their husbands, wear their best clothes, be neat and clean, and apply fragrant perfumes.

A woman came to the Prophet of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) and asked, “What are the rights of a husband regarding his wife?” He replied, “Her duty is to perfume herself with the best scenting of her perfumes, and to dress in the nicest of her attires, and adorn herself with the finest of her adornments, and thus offer herself to her husband morning and night.”46 He always urged his daughters not to approach their spouses unless they wash themselves and be clean.47

Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said: “A Muslim woman must perfume herself for her husband.”48 Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) stated, “Woman should not give up adornment, be it only with a necklace. She should adorn her hands (with henna). Even an old woman should not give up adornment.”49

Islam, which encourages the woman to pay attention to her beauty, appearance and adornment for her husband and to show affection to him, at the same time prohibits her from doing the same for others except for her husband, because it would create psychological separation between the couple and drive the woman to deviation, shamelessness and faithlessness. Besides, it creates tension, mistrust, and hatred in the heart of the husband, and finally destroys the family noble edifice.

Hence, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “The best of your women is one who is obedient towards her husband, adorns herself for her husband, but does not reveal her adornment to strangers; and the worst of your women is one who adorns herself for others in the absence of her husband.”50 He also said: “It is allowed for a woman to show her wrists and legs only to her husband and nobody else. If she shows them to the strangers, she will be upon the wrath and the curse of God forever and God shall be wrathful at her and the angels of God will curse her, and God will prepare a grievous punishment for her.”51 Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) stated, “If a woman uses perfume for other than her husband, God would not accept her prayer until she washes it away as she washes pollution from herself.”52

D. Attentiveness To His Sexual Needs

Even though seeking pleasure and sexual gratification is not the whole aim of marriage, it is one of the chief goals and initial motivators for marriage and has a considerable effect in strengthening the structure of the family and preserving a good relationship between spouses. Hence, gratification is one of the responsibilities of husbands and wives and they must be prepared to give each other sexual pleasure and gratification. Whenever one party is inclined to sexual acts, the other must prepare themselves and not bring excuses. Especially the wife must not refuse her husband sexually as this can lead to marital problems and worse still, may tempt the man to adultery. Therefore, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has instructed women as follows, “Do not lengthen your Prayer to forestall your husbands (from sexual pleasure).”53

Moreover, he said: “It is not permitted for a woman to sleep, except that she presents herself to her husband before sleeping. Takes off her garments, lies in bed with him, and hugs him.”54 Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “The best of your women is one who takes off the clothes of modesty and shame when she is alone with her husband.”55

A Muslim woman must be attentive to her husband’s sexual needs and should pay proper attention to her makeup and appearance, to attract the husband and respond to his sexual inclinations, since this is quite effective in pulling the man to his wife and strengthening the relations of love between them. She should provide him with ways of enjoying her beauty, satisfy his desires, and prevent him the temptation of throwing himself into the traps of forbidden desires. If she refuses to respond to his legitimate sexual needs, she would be committing a sin, unless there is a legitimate excuse, such as being on her menses, making up an obligatory fast, or being sick.

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses, and then he spends the night angry with her, the angels will continue to curse her until the morning.”56

The Qur’an briefly states the right of enjoying one’s wife, by saying,

“Your women are tillage for you (to cultivate) so go to your tillage whenever you like and send ahead for yourselves, and be aware of God. (Qur’an, 2:223).

According to this verse, the Qur’an confirms man’s right to enjoy his wife in diverse ways, as she, too, has the right to enjoy this relationship. Islam has devised ways for both husband and wife to enjoy themselves according to their respective rights so that there can be neither oppression nor exploitation of the woman because of man’s extravagance or misuse.

E. Good Behavior

In order to provide an atmosphere of love and stability for the husband, the wife is to do away with all causes of unrest, disgust and whatever may disturb the peace of the family. This can be achieved by showing affection and amity to the husband and by infusing the home atmosphere with feelings of love, joy, and kindness. A man may not see in his wife, nor hear from her, what he hates to see and hear.

The more the sense of beauty grows in one’s self, the more one’s need for love and affection is satisfied and the less the causes of trouble, boredom, frustration, bitterness, hatred, etc. Thus, such a harmonious family life full of love, joy, and affection would certainly have its effects on the behavior of its members. Contrary to a miserable and unhappy family, where the husband leads a life of hatred, tension, repulsion, and ill temper, thereby bringing ruin to the family. Such environments badly affect the children, causing them to be complex and miserable, or even pushing them to be aggressive, irresponsible and lead a vagabond life.

Islam urges the wife to be the source of love, beauty, peace, and security in the house and advises her to endeavor to create a tightly knit family life full of harmony and affection. A man said to the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny), “I have a wife who welcomes me at the door when I enter the house and sees me off when I leave. When she sees me grieved, asks me, “What are you grieved for? If you are anxious about your livelihood, it is guaranteed by other than you; or if you are worried about your hereafter life, may God increase your worries.”

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “God has agents and she is one of them. She will get half a martyr’s reward.”57 He also said: “The best of your women is … the affectionate, the chaste, the endeared of her family, the humble to her husband, fortified against other than him, ….”58

There are many other traditions about how to behave with the husband. We mention some of them:

• “A woman’s quenching of her husband’s thirst with a glass of water is better for her than a whole year spent fasting during the day and praying at night.”59

• “There are three groups of women whom God will protect from the torment of the grave and will be gathered with Fatimah, (the daughter of the Prophet) in heaven; The woman who is patient through jealousy of her husband, the woman who is patient through petulancy of her husband and the woman who offers her dowry to her husband.”60

• “God blesses the man who arises at midnight and prays and then wakes his wife to pray. Similarly, God blesses the woman who arises at midnight and prays! Then wakes her husband to pray.”61

• “If a woman bothers her husband through her words, God will not accept any remedy or any of her good deeds until she satisfies her husband.”62

• “God does not look at the woman who is unappreciative of her husband whilst being in need of him.”63

• “It is not permissible for a woman to put something which is beyond her husband’s power on his shoulders. She should not complain about him to anyone of God’s creatures, neither to her relatives nor to strangers.”64

• “Any woman who reproaches her husband for her property and says, “you are my dependent!’ God will not accept any charity from her until she pleases her husband.’”65

• “If a wife expresses to her husband: ‘I have not received any goodness from you!’ Verily she is void of her good deeds.”66

In summary, it can be said that the task of a wife is to maintain and take care of her husband. For a woman to be a successful wife, she should win over her husband’s heart and be a source of comfort to him. She should obey him in permissible affairs and at the same time encourage him to do good deeds while dissuading him from bad ones. She should also provide adequate measures to maintain his health and well-being and should protect his property. Moreover, she must be attentiveness to his sexual needs. The results of her efforts are directed towards making the man into a kind and respected husband who would be a proper guardian for his family, and a lovely father for his children.

And the end of our prayer is:

‟Praise be to God, the Lord of the worlds!”

May the Lord bless you and protect you.

May the Lord smile on you

and be gracious to you.

May the Lord show you His favor

and give you His peace.

- 1. Allusion to the Qur’an; 30:21.

- 2. Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 20, p. 163.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَن كانَ لَهُ امرَأةٌ تُؤذِيهِ لَم يَقبَلِ اللّهُ صلاتَها و لا حَسَنَةً مِن عَمَلِها حتّى تُعِينَهُ و تُرضِيَهُ و إن صامَتِ الدَّهرَ ... و على الرَّجُلِ مِثلُ ذلكَ الوِزْرِ و العَذابِ إذا كانَ لَها مُؤذِيا ظالِما».

- 3. Jami’a al-Sadat, vol. 2, p. 139 & al-Bukhari, no. 56 & 3936.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «وَلَسْتَ بِنَافِقٍ نَفَقَةً تَبْتَغِي بِهَا وَجْهَ اللَّهِ، إِلَّا آجَرَكَ اللَّهُ بِهَا حَتَّى اللُّقْمَةَ تَجْعَلُهَا فِي فِي امْرَأَتِكَ».

- 4. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 254.
قَالَ رسولُ اللَّه:‏ «حَقُّ الْمَرْأَةِ عَلَى زَوْجِهَا أَنْ‏ يَسُدَّ جَوْعَتَهَا وَ أَنْ يَسْتُرَ عَوْرَتَهَا وَ لَا يُقَبِّحَ لَهَا وَجْهاً فَإِذَا فَعَلَ ذَلِكَ فَقَدْ وَ اللَّهِ أَدَّى حَقَّهَا».

- 5. Al-Kafi, vol. 4, p. 12.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «كَفَى بِالْمَرْءِ إِثْماً أَنْ‏ يُضَيِّعَ‏ مَنْ‏ يَعُولُهُ».

- 6. Al-Kafi, vol. 4, p. 12.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَلعونٌ مَلعونٌ مَن ضَيَّعَ مَن يَعولُ».

- 7. Nahj al-Fasahah, p. 611.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «كُلُّكُمْ‏ رَاعٍ‏ وَ كُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِه‏».

- 8. Al-Jafariyat, p. 28.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«لِيَتَهَيَّأْ أَحَدُكُمْ‏ لِزَوْجَتِهِ‏ كَمَا تَتَهَيَّأُ زَوْجَتُهُ لَهُ». قَالَ جَعْفَرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ 7: «يَعْنِي يَتَهَيَّأُ بِالنَّظَافَةِ».

- 9. Al-Ferdos, vol. 5, p. 521.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «يَجِبُ عَلَى الرَّجُلِ لِامرَأَتِهِ ما يَجِبُ لَهُ عَلَيها؛ أن يَتَزَيَّنَ لَها كَما تَتَزَيَّنُ لَهُ في غَيرِ مَأثَمٍ».

- 10. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 6, p. 640.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «اِغسِلوا ثِيابَكُم ، وخُذوا مِن شُعورِكُم ، وَاستاكوا ، وتَزَيَّنوا ، وتَنَظَّفوا ؛ فَإِنَّ بَني إسرائيلَ لَم يَكونوا يَفعَلونَ ذلِكَ فَزَنَت نِساؤُهُم».

- 11. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 567.
عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ جَهْمٍ قَالَ: رَأَيْتُ أَبَا الْحَسَنِ: «اخْتَضَبَ فَقُلْتُ جُعِلْتُ فِدَاكَ اخْتَضَبْتَ فَقَالَ نَعَمْ إِنَّ التَّهْيِئَةَ مِمَّا يَزِيدُ فِي عِفَّةِ النِّسَاءِ وَ لَقَدْ تَرَكَ النِّسَاءُ الْعِفَّةَ بِتَرْكِ أَزْوَاجِهِنَّ التَّهْيِئَةَ ثُمَّ قَالَ أَ يَسُرُّكَ أَنْ تَرَاهَا عَلَى مَا تَرَاكَ عَلَيْهِ إِذَا كُنْتَ عَلَى غَيْرِ تَهْيِئَةٍ قُلْتُ لَا قَالَ فَهُوَ ذَاكَ».

- 12. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 567.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«إِذَا أَرَادَ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْتِيَ أَهْلَهُ فَلَا يُعَجِّلْهَا».

- 13. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 344.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إذا جامَعَ أحَدُكُم أهلَهُ فَليَصدُقها ، ثُمَّ إذا قَضى حاجَتَهُ قَبل أن تَقضِيَ حاجَتَها فَلا يَعجَلها حَتّى تَقضِيَ حاجَتَها».

- 14. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 9, p. 36.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «ثَلاثَةٌ مِنَ الجَفاءِ : . . . وأن يَكونَ بَينَ الرَّجُلِ وأهلِهِ وِقاعٌ مِن غَيرِ أن يُرسِلَ رَسولاً؛ المِزاحَ وَالقُبَلَ . لا يَقَع أحَدُكُم عَلى أهلِهِ مِثلَ البَهيمَةِ».

- 15. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 59. P. 327.
عن الرضَا: «... وَ اشْتَهَتْ‏ مِنْكَ‏ مِثْلَ‏ الَّذِي تَشْتَهِيهِ مِنْهَا».

- 16. Allusion to the Qur’an; 2:187.

- 17. Al-Muslim, no: 1437.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِنَّ مِنْ أَشَرِّ النَّاسِ عِنْدَ اللهِ مَنْزِلَةً يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ، الرَّجُلَ يُفْضِي إِلَى امْرَأَتِهِ، وَتُفْضِي إِلَيْهِ، ثُمَّ يَنْشُرُ سِرَّهَا».

- 18. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 552.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا تُجامِعِ امرَأَتَكَ بِشَهوَةِ امرَأَةِ غَيرِكَ، فَإِنّي أخشى إن قُضِيَ بَينَكُما وَلَدٌ أن يَكونَ مُخَنَّثا أو مُؤَنَّثا مُخَبَّلاً».

- 19. Al-Bukhari, no. 5151.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أَحَقُّ مَا أَوْفَيْتُمْ مِنَ الشُّرُوطِ أَنْ تُوفُوا بِهِ مَا اسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ بِهِ الفُرُوجَ».

- 20. Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 15, p. 120.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«مَنْ قُتِلَ دُونَ عِيَالِهِ‏ فَهُوَ شَهِيدٌ».

- 21. Al-Amali , p. 392.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِنَّ أَكْمَلَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَاناً أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقاً، وَ خِيَارُكُمْ‏ خِيَارُكُمْ‏ لِنِسَائِهِمْ».

- 22. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 68, p. 387.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أقرَبُكُم مِنّي مَجلِسا يَومَ القِيامَةِ أحسَنُكُم خُلُقا وخَيرُكُم لِأَهلِهِ».

- 23. Al-Muslim, no: 1469.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً، إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ».

- 24. Al-Faqih, v. 3, p. 556.
قال امام علی: «الْمَرْأَةَ رَيْحَانَةٌ وَ لَيْسَتْ بِقَهْرَمَانَةٍ فَدَارِهَا عَلَى كُلِّ حَالٍ وَ أَحْسِنِ الصُّحْبَةَ لَهَا لِيَصْفُوَ عَيْشُكَ».

- 25. Irshad Al-Qulub, vol. 1, p. 175.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَنْ ضَرَبَ امْرَأَةً بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ فَأَنَا خَصْمُهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ لَا تَضْرِبُوا نِسَاءَكُمْ فَمَنْ ضَرَبَهُمْ بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ فَقَدْ عَصَى اللَّهَ وَ رَسُولَه‏».

- 26. Jamia al-Akhbar, p. 158 & Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 249.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إنّي لَأتَعَجَّبُ مِمَّن يَضرِبُ امرَأتَهُ و هُو بِالضَّربِ أولى مِنها».

- 27. Al-Bukhari, no. 4658.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أما يَستَحي أحَدُكُم أن يَضرِبَ امرَأَتَهُ كَما يَضرِبُ العَبدَ؛ يَضرِبُها أوَّلَ النَّهارِ ثُمَّ يُضاجِعُها آخِرَهُ ؟ أما يَستَحي».

- 28. Tabaqat Ibn-Sad, vol. 1, p. 367.

- 29. Bihar al-anwar, vol. 100, p. 249.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لَا تَضْرِبُوا نِسَاءَكُمْ بِالْخَشَبِ فَإِنَّ فِيهِ الْقِصَاصَ وَ لَكِنِ اضْرِبُوهُنَ‏ بِالْجُوع»‏.

- 30. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 253.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «ما زالَ جَبرَئيلُ يُوصِينِي بالمرأةِ حتّى ظَنَنتُ أنَّهُ لا يَنبَغِي طَلاقُها إلاّ مِن فاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ» .

- 31. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 569.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «قَولُ الرَّجُلِ للمرأةِ : «إنّي اُحِبُّكِ» لا يَذهَبُ مِن قَلبِها أبدا».

- 32. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 76, p. 268.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «اِتَّقُوا اللّه َ في الضَّعِيفَينِ : اليَتيمِ و المرأةِ، فإنَّ خِيارَكُم خِيارُكُم لِأهلِهِ».

- 33. Tanbih al-Khawater, vol. 2, p. 122.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «جُلوسُ المَرءِ عندَ عِيالِهِ أحَبُّ إلى اللّه ِتعالى مِنِ اعتِكافٍ في مَسجِدِي هذا».

- 34. Aljafariyat, p. 90.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «كُلَّمَا ازدادَ العَبدُ إيمانا ، اِزدادَ حُبّا لِلنِّساءِ».

- 35. Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 472.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «خَيرُكُم خَيرُكُم لِأَهلِهِ، وأنا خَيرُكُم لِأَهلي. ما أكرَمَ النِّساءَ إلّا كَريمٌ، و ما أهانَهُنَّ إلّا لَئيمٌ».

- 36. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, vol. 14, p. 252.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أخبَرَني أخي جَبرَئيلُ ـ ولَم يَزَل يُوصيني بِالنِّساءِ حَتّى ظَنَنتُ ألّا يَحِلَّ لِزَوجِها أن يَقولَ لَها : اُفٍّ ـ يا مُحَمَّدُ ، اِتَّقُوا اللّه َ عَزَّ وجَلَّ فِي النِّساءِ ، فَإِنَّهُنَّ عَوانٌ بَينَ أيديكُم ، أخَذتُموهُنَّ عَلى أماناتِ اللّه ِ عَزَّ وجَلَّ … ، فَأَشفِقوا عَلَيهِنَّ ، وطَيِّبوا قُلوبَهُنَّ حَتّى يَقِفنَ مَعَكُم ، ولا تَكرَهُوا النِّساءَ ولا تَسخَطوا بِهِنَّ ، ولا تَأخُذوا مِمّا آتَيتُموهُنَّ شَيئا إلّا بِرِضاهُنَّ وإذنِهِنَّ».

- 37. See al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 9.
فِي حَدِيثٍ: «جِهَادُ الْمَرْأَةِ حُسْنُ‏ التَّبَعُّلِ».‏

- 38. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 248.
جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّه فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا حَقُّ الزَّوْجِ عَلَى الْمَرْأَةِ فَقَالَ لَهَا «تُطِيعُهُ وَ لَا تَعْصِيه‏».

- 39. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, v. 14, p. 244.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: لِلرَّجُلِ عَلَى المَرأَةِ أن … تَجتَنِبَ سَخَطَهُ وتَتَّبِعَ مَرضاتَهُ ، وتوفي بِعَهدِهِ ووَعدِهِ.

- 40. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 508.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لَو أمَرتُ أحَدا أن يَسجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ لَأَمَرتُ المرأةَ أن تَسجُدَ لِزَوجِها».

- 41. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 253.
قال الإمامُ الصادق: «مَلعونةٌ مَلعونةٌ امرأةٌ تُؤذِي زَوجَها و تُغِمُّهُ ، و سَعيدةٌ سَعِيدةٌ امرأةٌ تُكرِمُ زَوجَها و لا تُؤذِيهِ و تُطِيعُهُ في جَميعِ أحوالِهِ».

- 42. Nahj Al-Balagha, p. 500, Wisdom: 165.
قال علیٌ: «لَا طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوقٍ‏ فِي مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِق».‏

- 43. Al-Mustadrak, vol. 14, p. 248.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «المَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَي‏ مَالِ‏ زَوْجِهَا وَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْه‏».

- 44. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 327.
قَالَ النَّبِيُّ: «مَا اسْتَفَادَ امْرُؤٌ مُسْلِمٌ فَائِدَةً بَعْدَ الْإِسْلَامِ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ زَوْجَةٍ مُسْلِمَةٍ تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ إِلَيْهَا وَ تُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَهَا وَ تَحْفَظُهُ إِذَا غَابَ عَنْهَا فِي نَفْسِهَا وَ مَالِهِ».

- 45. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 327.
قال الرضا: «ما أفادَ عَبدٌ فائدَةً خَيرا مِن زَوجَةٍ صالِحَةٍ، إذا رَآها سَـرَّتْهُ، و إذا غابَ عَنها حَفِظَتْهُ في نَفسِها و مالِهِ».

- 46. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 508.
يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا حَقُ‏ الزَّوْجِ‏ عَلَى‏ الْمَرْأَةِ؟ قَالَ: «... وَ عَلَيْهَا أَنْ تَطَيَّبَ بِأَطْيَبِ طِيبِهَا وَ تَلْبَسَ أَحْسَنَ ثِيَابِهَا وَ تَزَيَّنَ بِأَحْسَنِ زِينَتِهَا وَ تَعْرِضَ‏ نَفْسَهَا عَلَيْهِ غُدْوَةً وَ عَشِيَّةً».

- 47. Al-Marasil, p. 187, no. 217.
أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ كَانَ إِذَا زَوَّجَ بَنَاتِهِ أَمَرَ أَنْ لَا يَقْرَبُهُنَّ أَزْوَاجُهُنَّ حَتَّى يَغْتَسِلْنَ، وَيَأْمُرُ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ بِذَلِكَ».

- 48. Al-Khisal, vol. 2, p. 621.
الإمام عليّ: «لِتَطَيَّبِ المَرأَةُ المُسلِمَةُ لِزَوجِها».

- 49. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p 260.
قال الامام الصادق: «لَا يَنْبَغِي لِلْمَرْأَةِ أَنْ تُعَطِّلَ نَفْسَهَا وَ لَوْ أَنْ تُعَلِّقَ فِي عُنُقِهَا قِلَادَةً وَ لَا يَنْبَغِي لَهَا أَنْ تَدَعَ يَدَهَا مِنَ الْخِضَابِ ... وَ لَوْ كَانَتْ مُسِنَّة».

- 50. Bihar al-Anwar, vol 100, p 235.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِنَّ مِنْ خَيْرِ نِسَائِكُمُ ... الذَّلِيلَةَ مَعَ بَعْلِهَا الْمُتَبَرِّجَةَ مِنْ زَوْجِهَا الْحَصَانَ عَنْ غَيْرِهِ الَّتِي تَسْمَعُ قَوْلَهُ وَ تُطِيعُ أَمْرَهُ ... إِنَّ مِنْ شَرِّ نِسَائِكُمُ ... الَّتِي لَا تَتَوَرَّعُ مِنْ قَبِيحٍ الْمُتَبَرِّجَةَ إِذَا غَابَ عَنْهَا بَعْلُهَا».

- 51. Al-Mustadrak, vol. 14, p. 242.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا يَحِلُّ لِامرَأةٍ أن تُظهِرَ مِعصَمَها وقَدَمَها لِرَجُلٍ غَيرِ بَعلِها، وإذا فَعَلَت ذلِكَ لَم تَزَل فى لَعنَةِ اللّه ِ وسَخَطِهِ، وغَضِبَ اللّه ُ عَلَيها، ولَعَنَتها مَلائِكَةُ اللّه ِ، وأعَدَّ لَها عَذابا أليما».

- 52. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 507.
قال امام الصادق: «أيُّمَا امرَأَةٍ تَطَيَّبَت لِغَيرِ زَوجِها ، لَم تُقبَل مِنها صَلاةٌ حَتّى تَغتَسِلَ مِن طيبِها.»

- 53. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 508.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه لِلنِّسَاءِ: «لَا تُطَوِّلْنَ‏ صَلَاتَكُنَّ لِتَمْنَعْنَ أَزْوَاجَكُنَّ».

- 54. Makarim Al-Akhlaq, vol. 1, p. 508, no. 1766.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا يَحِلُّ لِامرَأَةٍ أن تَنامَ حَتّى تَعرِضَ نَفسَها عَلى زَوجِها؛ تَخلَعَ ثِيابَها، وتَدخُلَ مَعَهُ في لِحافِهِ فَتُلزِقَ جِلدَها بِجِلدِهِ، فَإِذا فَعَلَت ذلِكَ فَقَد عَرَضَت».

- 55. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 324.
عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّه قَالَ: «خَيْرُ نِسَائِكُمُ الَّتِي إِذَا خَلَتْ مَعَ زَوْجِهَا خَلَعَتْ لَهُ دِرْعَ‏ الْحَيَاء».

- 56. Al-Bukhari, no. 3065.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إذا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امرَأَتَهُ إلى فِراشِهِ فَأَبَت ، فَباتَ غَضبانَ عَلَيها ، لَعَنَتهَا المَلائِكَةُ حَتّى تُصبِحَ».

- 57. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 389.
وَ جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّه فَقَالَ إِنَّ لِي زَوْجَةً إِذَا دَخَلْتُ تَلَقَّتْنِي وَ إِذَا خَرَجْتُ شَيَّعَتْنِي وَ إِذَا رَأَتْنِي مَهْمُوماً قَالَتْ لِي مَا يُهِمُّكَ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَهْتَمُّ لِرِزْقِكَ فَقَدْ تَكَفَّلَ لَكَ بِهِ غَيْرُكَ وَ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَهْتَمُّ بِأَمْرِ آخِرَتِكَ فَزَادَكَ اللَّهُ هَمّاً فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«إِنَّ لِلَّهِ عُمَّالًا وَ هَذِهِ مِنْ عُمَّالِهِ لَهَا نِصْفُ أَجْرِ الشَّهِيدِ».

- 58. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 324.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِنَّ خَيْرَ نِسَائِكُمُ ... الْوَدُودُ الْعَفِيفَةُ الْعَزِيزَةُ فِي أَهْلِهَا الذَّلِيلَةُ مَعَ بَعْلِهَا الْمُتَبَرِّجَةُ مَعَ زَوْجِهَا الْحَصَانُ عَلَى غَيْرِهِ ...».

- 59. Irshad al-Qulub, p. 175.
قال الامام الصادق: «ما مِنِ امرَأَةٍ تَسقي زَوجَها شَربَةَ ماءٍ، إلّا كانَ خَيرا لَها مِن سَنَةٍ صِيامِ نَهارِها وقِيامِ لَيلِها، وبَنى اللّهُ لَها بِكُلِّ شَربَةٍ تَسقي زَوجَها مَدينَةً فِي الجَنَّةِ، وغَفَرَ لَها سِتّينَ خَطيئَةً».

- 60. Irshad al-Qulub, p. 175.
قال الامام الصادق: «ثَلَاثٌ‏ مِنَ‏ النِّسَاءِ يَرْفَعُ اللَّهُ عَنْهُنَّ عَذَابَ الْقَبْرِ وَ يَكُونُ مَحْشَرُهُنَّ مَعَ فَاطِمَةَ بِنْتِ مُحَمَّدٍ ص امْرَأَةٌ صَبَرَتْ عَلَى غَيْرَةِ زَوْجِهَا وَ امْرَأَةٌ صَبَرَتْ عَلَى سُوءِ خُلُقِ زَوْجِهَا وَ امْرَأَةٌ وَهَبَتْ صَدَاقَهَا لِزَوْجِهَا يُعْطِي اللَّهُ تَعَالَى لِكُلِّ وَاحِدَةٍ مِنْهُنَّ ثَوَابَ أَلْفِ شَهِيدٍ وَ يَكْتُبُ لِكُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُنَّ عِبَادَةَ سَنَة».

- 61. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 7, p. 793, no. 21438.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «رَحِمَ اللّهُ رَجُلاً قامَ مِنَ اللَّيلِ فَصَلّى، ثُمَّ أيقَظَ أهلَهُ فَصَلّوا. رَحِمَ اللّهُ امرَأَةً قامَت مِنَ اللَّيلِ فَصَلَّت، ثُمَّ أيقَظَت زَوجَها فَصَلّى».

- 62. Al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 14.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أيُّمَا امرَأَةٍ آذَت زَوجَها بِلِسانِها، لَم يَقبَلِ اللّهُ عَزَّ وجَلَّ مِنها صَرفا ولا عَدلاً ولا حَسنَةً مِن عَمَلِها حَتّى تُرضِيَهُ».

- 63. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 396, no. 45082.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا يَنظُرُ اللّهُ إلَى امرَأَةٍ لا تَشكُرُ لِزَوجِها وهِيَ لا تَستَغني عَنهُ».

- 64. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, vol. 14, p. 242.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا يَحِلُّ لِلمَرأَةِ أن تُكَلِّفَ زَوجَها فَوقَ طاقَتِهِ، ولا تَشكوهُ إلى أحَدٍ مِن خَلقِ اللّهِ عَزَّ وجَلَّ، لا قَريبٍ ولا بَعيدٍ».

- 65. Makarim al-Akhlaq, vol. 1, p. 202.
قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أيُّمَا امرَأَةٍ مَنَّت عَلى زَوجِها بِمالِها فَتَقولُ: «إنَّما تَأكُلُ أنتَ مِن مالي»، لَو أنَّها تَصَدَّقَت بِذلِكَ المالِ في سَبيلِ اللّهِ، لا يَقبَلُ اللّهُ مِنها إلّا أن يَرضى عَنها زَوجُها».

- 66. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 440.
قال الإمام الصادق: «أيُّمَا امرَأَةٍ قالَت لِزَوجِها: «ما رَأَيتُ قَطُّ مِن وَجهِكَ خَيرا» فَقَد حَبِطَ عَمَلُها».

List Of Ayat Quoted

أَ تَأْمُرُونَ النَّاسَ بِالْبِرِّ وَ تَنْسَوْنَ أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَ أَنْتُمْ تَتْلُونَ الْكِتابَ أَ فَلا تَعْقِلُون

Do you order the people to do good, but forget yourselves, while you are reciting the Scripture? Do you not apply reason? (Qur’an, 2:44).

وَ إِذْ أَخَذْنا ميثاقَ بَني‏ إِسْرائيلَ لا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلاَّ اللَّهَ وَ بِالْوالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً وَ ذِي الْقُرْبى‏ وَ الْيَتامى‏ وَ الْمَساكينِ وَ قُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْناً وَ أَقيمُوا الصَّلاةَ وَ آتُوا الزَّكاةَ ثُمَّ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ إِلاَّ قَليلاً مِنْكُمْ وَ أَنْتُمْ مُعْرِضُون .

And when We took a pledge from the Children of Israel:" Worship no one but God, do good to parents, relatives, orphans, and the needy, and speak kindly to people, and maintain the prayer, and give the zakat," you turned away, except a few of you, and you were disregardful.). (Qur’an, 2:83).

وَ إِذْ جَعَلْنَا الْبَيْتَ مَثَابَةً لِّلنَّاسِ وَ أَمْنًا وَ اتخَِّذُواْ مِن مَّقَامِ إِبْرَاهِمَ مُصَلىًّ وَ عَهِدْنَا إِلىَ إِبْرَاهِمَ وَ إِسْمَاعِيلَ أَن طَهِّرَا بَيْتىِ‏َ لِلطَّائفِينَ وَ الْعَاكِفِينَ وَ الرُّكَّعِ السُّجُود.

And [remember] when We made the House a place of reward for mankind and a sanctuary, [declaring], “Take the venue of prayer from Abraham’s Station.” We charged Abraham and Ishmael [with its upkeep, saying], “Purify My House for those who go around it, [for] those who make it a retreat and [for] those who bow and prostrate.” (Qur’an, 2:125).

وَ وَصىَ‏ بهَِا إِبْرَاهِمُ بَنِيهِ وَ يَعْقُوبُ يَابَنىِ‏َّ إِنَّ اللَّهَ اصْطَفَى‏ لَكُمُ الدِّينَ فَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَ أَنتُم مُّسْلِمُون

Abraham enjoined this creed upon his children, and so did Jacob, saying, “My children! God has indeed chosen this religion for you; so never die except as Muslims”. (Qur’an, 2:132).

وَ إِذا سَأَلَكَ عِبادي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَريبٌ أُجيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذا دَعانِ فَلْيَسْتَجيبُوا لي‏ وَ لْيُؤْمِنُوا بي‏ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُون

When My servants ask you about Me, tell them that I am indeed near answering the calls of those who call to Me. So let them respond to Me and believe in Me. (Qur’an, 2:186).

هُنَّ لِباسٌ لَكُمْ وَ أَنْتُمْ لِباسٌ لَهُن

They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them. (Qur’an, 2:187).

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابينَ وَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرين

Indeed God loves the penitent and He loves those who keep clean. (Qur’an, 2:222).

نِساؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ وَ قَدِّمُوا لِأَنْفُسِكُمْ وَ اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَ اعْلَمُوا أَنَّكُمْ مُلاقُوهُ وَ بَشِّرِ الْمُؤْمِنين.

Your women are tillage for you (to cultivate) so go to your tillage whenever you like and send ahead for yourselves, and be aware of God. (Qur’an, 2:223).

وَ لَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَ لِلرِّجالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ وَ اللَّهُ عَزيزٌ حَكيم.

And women have rights similar to those of men over them in kindness. And men have a degree above them, and God is all-mighty and all-wise. (Qur’an, 2:228).

وَ أَن تَعْفُواْ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَى‏ وَ لَا تَنسَوُاْ الْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِير.

And if you forgive, it is closer to righteousness. And do not forget to show kindness to each other. (Qur’an, 2:237).

إِذْ قالَتِ امْرَأَتُ عِمْرانَ رَبِّ إِنِّي نَذَرْتُ لَكَ ما في‏ بَطْني‏ مُحَرَّراً فَتَقَبَّلْ مِنِّي إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ السَّميعُ الْعَليم.

When the wife of Imran said:“My Lord, I dedicate to You what is in my belly, in consecration. Accept it from me; indeed, You are the All-hearing, the All-knowing. (Qur’an, 3:35).

فَلَمَّا وَضَعَتهَْا قَالَتْ رَبّ‏ِ إِنىّ‏ِ وَضَعْتهَُا أُنثىَ‏ وَ اللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا وَضَعَتْ وَ لَيْسَ الذَّكَرُ كاَلْأُنثىَ‏ وَ إِنىّ‏ِ سَمَّيْتهَُا مَرْيَمَ وَ إِنىّ‏ِ أُعِيذُهَا بِكَ وَ ذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيم‏.

And when she bore her, she said:“My Lord, I have borne a female [child]” and God knew better what she had borne “and the female is not like the male. I have named her Mary, and I commend her and her offspring to Your care against the evil of the outcast Satan.” (Qur’an, 3:36).

فَتَقَبَّلَها رَبُّها بِقَبُولٍ حَسَنٍ وَ أَنْبَتَها نَباتاً حَسَناً وَ كَفَّلَها زَكَرِيَّا كُلَّما دَخَلَ عَلَيْها زَكَرِيَّا الْمِحْرابَ وَجَدَ عِنْدَها رِزْقاً قالَ يا مَرْيَمُ أَنَّى لَكِ هذا قالَتْ هُوَ مِنْ عِنْدِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَرْزُقُ مَنْ يَشاءُ بِغَيْرِ حِساب.

Thereupon her Lord accepted her with a gracious acceptance, and made her grow up in a worthy fashion, and He charged Zechariah with her care. Whenever Zechariah visited her in the sanctuary, he would find provisions and sustenance with her. He said: “O Mary, from where does this come for you?” She said: “It comes from God. God provides whomever He wishes without any reckoning. (Qur’an, 3:37).

يا أَيُّهَا الَّذينَ آمَنُوا اصْبِرُوا وَ صابِرُوا وَ رابِطُوا وَ اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُون .

O you, who believe, be patient and call for patience, and bond together and revere God that you may succeed. (Qur’an, 3:200).

يَأَيهَُّا النَّاسُ اتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِى خَلَقَكمُ مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَ خَلَقَ مِنهَْا زَوْجَهَا وَ بَثَّ مِنهُْمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَ نِسَاءً وَ اتَّقُواْ اللَّهَ الَّذِى تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَ الْأَرْحَامَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كاَنَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا.

O mankind! Be wary of your Lord who created you from a single soul, and created its mate from it, and, from the two of them, scattered numerous men and women. Be wary of God, in whose Name you adjure one another, and the wombs. Indeed God is watchful over you. (Qur’an, 4:1).

عاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسى‏ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئاً وَ يَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فيهِ خَيْراً كَثيرا.

Live with them in kindness. If you dislike them, then perhaps you may dislike something and God makes in it much good. (Qur’an, 4:19).

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلىَ النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلىَ‏ بَعْضٍ وَ بِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِم.

Men have charge of women (and are to support the women) because God has preferred the one above the other and because they spend their wealth on them. (Qur’an, 4:34).

وَ اعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَ لا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئاً وَ بِالْوالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً وَ بِذِي الْقُرْبى‏ وَ الْيَتامى‏ وَ الْمَساكينِ وَ الْجارِ ذِي الْقُرْبى‏ وَ الْجارِ الْجُنُبِ وَ الصَّاحِبِ بِالْجَنْبِ وَ ابْنِ السَّبيلِ وَ ما مَلَكَتْ أَيْمانُكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لا يُحِبُّ مَنْ كانَ مُخْتالاً فَخُوراً.

Worship God and do not ascribe any partners to Him, and be good to parents, the relatives, the orphans, the needy, the near neighbor and the distant neighbor, the companion at your side, the traveler, and your slaves. Indeed God does not like anyone who is arrogant and braggart. (Qur’an, 4:36).

وَ إِن يَتَفَرَّقَا يُغْنِ اللَّهُ كُلاًّ مِّن سَعَتِهِ وَ كاَنَ اللَّهُ وَاسِعًا حَكِيمًا.

But if they separate, God will suffice each of them out of His bounty, and God is all-bounteous, all-wise. (Qur’an, 4:130).

قُلْ تَعَالَوْاْ أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ أَلَّا تُشرِْكُواْ بِهِ شَيًْا وَ بِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَنًا وَ لَا تَقْتُلُواْ أَوْلَادَكُم مِّنْ إِمْلَاقٍ نحَّْنُ نَرْزُقُكُمْ وَ إِيَّاهُمْ وَ لَا تَقْرَبُواْ الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَ مَا بَطَنَ وَ لَا تَقْتُلُواْ النَّفْسَ الَّتىِ حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلَّا بِالْحَقّ‏ِ ذَالِكمُ‏ْ وَصَّئكُم بِهِ لَعَلَّكمُ‏ْ تَعْقِلُون‏ .

Say, “Come, I will recount what your Lord has forbidden you from. That you shall not ascribe any partners to Him, and you shall be good to the parents, you shall not kill your children due to penury We will provide for you and for them you shall not approach indecencies, the outward among them and the inward ones, and you shall not kill a soul [whose life] God has made inviolable, except with due cause. This is what He has enjoined upon you so that you may apply reason.” (Qur’an, 6:151).

مَنْ جاءَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ فَلَهُ عَشْرُ أَمْثالِها وَ مَنْ جاءَ بِالسَّيِّئَةِ فَلا يُجْزى‏ إِلاَّ مِثْلَها وَ هُمْ لا يُظْلَمُون .

Whoever brings virtue shall receive ten times its like; but whoever brings vice shall not be requited except with its like, and they will not be wronged. (Qur’an, 6:160).

وَ نادى‏ نُوحٌ ابْنَهُ وَ كانَ في‏ مَعْزِلٍ يا بُنَيَّ ارْكَبْ مَعَنا وَ لا تَكُنْ مَعَ الْكافِرين .

Noah called out to his son, who stood aloof, “O my dear son!” Board with us, and do not be with the faithless! (Qur’an, 11:42).

قالَ يا بُنَيَّ لا تَقْصُصْ رُؤْياكَ عَلى‏ إِخْوَتِكَ فَيَكيدُوا لَكَ كَيْداً إِنَّ الشَّيْطانَ لِلْإِنْسانِ عَدُوٌّ مُبين.

He (Jacob) said: “O my dear son, do not relate your vision (dream) to your brothers, or they will scheme against you. The devil is to man a clear enemy. (Qur’an, 12:5).

إِذْ قالُوا لَيُوسُفُ وَ أَخُوهُ أَحَبُّ إِلى‏ أَبينا مِنَّا وَ نَحْنُ عُصْبَةٌ إِنَّ أَبانا لَفي‏ ضَلالٍ مُبين. اقْتُلُوا يُوسُفَ أَوِ اطْرَحُوهُ أَرْضاً يَخْلُ لَكُمْ وَجْهُ أَبيكُمْ وَ تَكُونُوا مِنْ بَعْدِهِ قَوْماً صالِحين.

They said: “Surely Joseph and his brother are dearer to our father than us, though we are a hardy group. Our father is indeed in manifest error. Kill Joseph or cast him in the land, then your father’s favor will be all yours, and that you may become a righteous lot after that.” (Qur’an, 12:8-9).

قالُوا يا أَبانا ما لَكَ لا تَأْمَنَّا عَلى‏ يُوسُفَ وَ إِنَّا لَهُ لَناصِحُون . أَرْسِلْهُ مَعَنا غَداً يَرْتَعْ وَ يَلْعَبْ وَ إِنَّا لَهُ لَحافِظُون . قالَ إِنِّي لَيَحْزُنُني‏ أَنْ تَذْهَبُوا بِهِ وَ أَخافُ أَنْ يَأْكُلَهُ الذِّئْبُ وَ أَنْتُمْ عَنْهُ غافِلُون .

They said: “Our father, why do you not trust us with Joseph, we are to him well wishers. Send him with us tomorrow to enjoy and play, and we will take care of him.” He said: “It saddens me that you should take him, and I fear that the wolf would eat him if you would be absent of him. (Qur’an:12:11-13).

إِنَّهُ مَنْ يَتَّقِ وَ يَصْبِرْ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لا يُضيعُ أَجْرَ الْمُحْسِنين.

Indeed those who keep from evil and are patient, God does not let the wage of the good doers go to waste. (Qur’an, 12:90).

قالُوا تَاللَّهِ لَقَدْ آثَرَكَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْنا وَ إِنْ كُنَّا لَخاطِئين.

They said: “By God, God Has indeed preferred you over us and we were wrongdoers.” (Qur’an, 12:91).

قالَ لا تَثْريبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ يَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَ هُوَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمين.

He said: “There shall be no reproach on you today. God will forgive you, and He is the most merciful of the merciful. (Qur’an, 12:92).

قالُوا يا أَبانَا اسْتَغْفِرْ لَنا ذُنُوبَنا إِنَّا كُنَّا خاطِئين. قالَ سَوْفَ أَسْتَغْفِرُ لَكُمْ رَبِّي إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحيم.

They (sons of Jacob) said: “Father! Plead with God for forgiveness of our sins! We have indeed been erring.” He (Jacob) said: “I shall plead with my Lord to forgive you; indeed He is the All-forgiving, the All-merciful.’ (Qur’an, 12:97-98).

وَ لَقَدْ أَرْسَلْنَا رُسُلًا مِّن قَبْلِكَ وَ جَعَلْنَا لهَُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَ ذُرِّيَّةً وَ مَا كاَنَ لِرَسُولٍ أَن يَأْتىِ‏َ بَِايَةٍ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ اللَّهِ لِكلُ‏ِّ أَجَلٍ كِتَاب‏.

Certainly, We have sent apostles before you, and We appointed for them wives and descendants; and an apostle may not bring a sign except by God’s leave. There is a written schedule for every term. (Qur’an, 13:38).

وَ إِذْ قالَ إِبْراهيمُ رَبِّ اجْعَلْ هَذَا الْبَلَدَ آمِناً وَ اجْنُبْني‏ وَ بَنِيَّ أَنْ نَعْبُدَ الْأَصْنام.

And when Abraham said: “My Lord! Make this city a sanctuary, and save me and my children from worshiping idols.” (Qur’an, 14:35).

رَبِّ اجْعَلْني‏ مُقيمَ الصَّلاةِ وَ مِنْ ذُرِّيَّتي‏ رَبَّنا وَ تَقَبَّلْ دُعاء.

My Lord! Make me a maintainer of the prayer, and my descendants too. Our Lord, accept my supplication. (Qur’an, 14:40).

وَ قَضى‏ رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُوا إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَ بِالْوالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُما أَوْ كِلاهُما فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُما أُفٍّ وَ لا تَنْهَرْهُما وَ قُلْ لَهُما قَوْلاً كَريما.

And your Lord decreed that you shall not serve except Him, and do good to your parents. When one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them a word of disrespect nor shout at them, but speak to them noble words and with utmost courtesy. (Qur’an, 17:23).

وَ اخْفِضْ لَهُما جَناحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَ قُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُما كَما رَبَّياني‏ صَغيراً.

Lower to your parents the wing of humility out of mercy and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small. (Qur’an, 17:24).

وَ بَرَّا بِوَالِدَيْهِ وَ لَمْ يَكُن جَبَّارًا عَصِيًّا.

And good to his parents, and was not self-willed or disobedient. (Qur’an, 19:14).

وَ جَعَلَني‏ مُبارَكاً أَيْنَ ما كُنْتُ وَ أَوْصاني‏ بِالصَّلاةِ وَ الزَّكاةِ ما دُمْتُ حَيًّا. وَ بَرَّا بِوَالِدَتىِ وَ لَمْ يجَْعَلْنىِ جَبَّارًا شَقِيًّا.

God has made me blessed, wherever I may be, and He has enjoined me to maintain the prayer and to pay the zakat (alms) as long as I live, and to be good to my mother, and He has not made me self-willed and wretched. (Qur’an, 19:31-32).

وَ اذْكُرْ فىِ الْكِتَابِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ إِنَّهُ كاَنَ صِدِّيقًا نَّبِيًّا. إِذْ قَالَ لِأَبِيهِ يَأَبَتِ لِمَ تَعْبُدُ مَا لَا يَسْمَعُ وَ لَا يُبْصِرُ وَ لَا يُغْنىِ عَنكَ شَيًْا. يَأَبَتِ إِنىّ‏ِ قَدْ جَاءَنىِ مِنَ الْعِلْمِ مَا لَمْ يَأْتِكَ فَاتَّبِعْنىِ أَهْدِكَ صِرَاطًا سَوِيًّا. يَأَبَتِ لَا تَعْبُدِ الشَّيْطَانَ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كاَنَ لِلرَّحْمَانِ عَصِيًّا. يَأَبَتِ إِنىّ‏ِ أَخَافُ أَن يَمَسَّكَ عَذَابٌ مِّنَ الرَّحْمَانِ فَتَكُونَ لِلشَّيْطَنِ وَلِيًّا.

“And mention in the Book Abraham. Indeed, he was a truthful one, a prophet. When he said to his father, “Father! Why do you worship that which neither hears nor sees, and is of no avail to you in any way? Father! Indeed a knowledge has already come to me which has not come to you. So follow me that I may guide you to a right path. Father! Do not worship Satan. Indeed Satan is disobedient to the All-beneficent. Father! I am indeed afraid that a punishment from the All-beneficent will befall you, and you will become Satan’s accomplice.’” (Qur’an, 19:41-45).

وَ اذْكُرْ فىِ الْكِتَابِ إِسمَْاعِيلَ إِنَّهُ كاَنَ صَادِقَ الْوَعْدِ وَ كاَنَ رَسُولًا نَّبِيًّا. وَ كانَ يَأْمُرُ أَهْلَهُ بِالصَّلاةِ وَ الزَّكاةِ وَ كانَ عِنْدَ رَبِّهِ مَرْضِيًّا.

And mention in the Book Ishmael. Indeed, he was true to his promise, an apostle, and a prophet. He used to bid his family to [maintain] the prayer and to [pay] the zakat (alms), and was pleasing to his Lord. (Qur’an, 19:54-55).

وَ أْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلاةِ وَ اصْطَبِرْ عَلَيْها لا نَسْئَلُكَ رِزْقاً نَحْنُ نَرْزُقُكَ وَ الْعاقِبَةُ لِلتَّقْوى .

And bid your family to prayer and be steadfast in its maintenance. We do not ask any provision of you. It is We who provide for you, And the good end is for the righteous. (Qur’an, 20:132).

وَ لْيَعْفُوا وَ لْيَصْفَحُوا أَ لا تُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَ اللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحيم.

Let them excuse and forbear. Do you not love that God should forgive you? And God is all-forgiving, all-merciful. (Qur’an, 24:22).

الخَْبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَ الْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ وَ الطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَ الطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ أُوْلَئكَ مُبرََّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَ رِزْقٌ كَرِيم.

Vicious women are for vicious men, and vicious men for vicious women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women. These are absolved of what they say about them. For them is forgiveness and a noble provision. (Qur’an, 24:26).

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصارِهِمْ وَ يَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذلِكَ أَزْكى‏ لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبيرٌ بِما يَصْنَعُون .

Tell the faithful men to cast down their looks and to guard their private parts. That is more decent for them. God is indeed well aware of what they do. (Qur’an, 24:30).

وَ قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِناتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصارِهِنَّ وَ يَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَ لا يُبْدينَ زينَتَهُنَّ إِلاَّ ما ظَهَرَ مِنْها وَ لْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلى‏ جُيُوبِهِنَّ وَ لا يُبْدينَ زينَتَهُنَّ إِلاَّ لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ آبائِهِنَّ أَوْ آباءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنائِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْناءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَني‏ إِخْوانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَني‏ أَخَواتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسائِهِنَّ أَوْ ما مَلَكَتْ أَيْمانُهُنَّ أَوِ التَّابِعينَ غَيْرِ أُولِي الْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ الرِّجالِ أَوِ الطِّفْلِ الَّذينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا عَلى‏ عَوْراتِ النِّساءِ وَ لا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ ما يُخْفينَ مِنْ زينَتِهِنَّ وَ تُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ جَميعاً أَيُّهَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُون .

And tell the faithful women to cast down their looks and to guard their private parts, and not to display their charms, except for what is outward. Let them draw their scarfs over their bosoms, and not display their charms except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or their slave girls, or male dependants lacking [sexual] desire, or children uninitiated to women’s parts. Moreover, let them not thump their feet to make known their hidden ornaments. Rally to God in repentance, O faithful, so that you may be felicitous. (Qur’an, 24:31).

وَ أَنكِحُواْ الْأَيَامَى‏ مِنكمُ‏ْ وَ الصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكمُ‏ْ وَ إِمَائكُمْ إِن يَكُونُواْ فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ وَ اللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيم.

Marry off those who are single among you and the upright among your male slaves and your female slaves. If they are poor, God will enrich them out of His grace, and God is all-bounteous, all-knowing. (Qur’an, 24:32).

يا أَيُّهَا الَّذينَ آمَنُوا لِيَسْتَأْذِنْكُمُ الَّذينَ مَلَكَتْ أَيْمانُكُمْ وَ الَّذينَ لَمْ يَبْلُغُوا الْحُلُمَ مِنْكُمْ ثَلاثَ مَرَّاتٍ مِنْ قَبْلِ صَلاةِ الْفَجْرِ وَ حينَ تَضَعُونَ ثِيابَكُمْ مِنَ الظَّهيرَةِ وَ مِنْ بَعْدِ صَلاةِ الْعِشاءِ ثَلاثُ عَوْراتٍ لَكُمْ لَيْسَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَ لا عَلَيْهِمْ جُناحٌ بَعْدَهُنَّ طَوَّافُونَ عَلَيْكُمْ بَعْضُكُمْ عَلى‏ بَعْضٍ كَذلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمُ الْآياتِ وَ اللَّهُ عَليمٌ حَكيمٌ.

O you who believe, let those who are your dependents and have not yet attained puberty request your permission regarding three times: Before the Dawn assembly, and during the noon-time when you put-off your outer garments, and after the Evening assembly. These are three private times for you. Other than these times, it is not wrong for you or them to invite or visit others. God thus clarifies the revelations for you. God is all-knowing, all-wise. (Qur’an, 24:58).

وَ إِذا بَلَغَ الْأَطْفالُ مِنْكُمُ الْحُلُمَ فَلْيَسْتَأْذِنُوا كَمَا اسْتَأْذَنَ الَّذينَ مِنْ قَبْلِهِمْ كَذلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ آياتِهِ وَ اللَّهُ عَليمٌ حَكيم.

When the children among you reach puberty, then they must still seek both your permission like those who were before them did also. God thus clarifies His revelations for you. And God is Knowledgeable, Wise. (Qur’an, 24:59).

وَ يَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلى‏ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبيلا.

A day when the wrongdoer will bite his hands, saying, “I wish I had followed the Apostle’s way!” (Qur’an, 25:27).

يا وَيْلَتى‏ لَيْتَني‏ لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلاناً خَليلا. لَقَدْ أَضَلَّني‏ عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جاءَني‏ وَ كانَ الشَّيْطانُ لِلْإِنْسانِ خَذُولا.

Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend! Certainly he led me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me. (Qur’an, 25:28-29).

وَ الَّذينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنا هَبْ لَنا مِنْ أَزْواجِنا وَ ذُرِّيَّاتِنا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَ اجْعَلْنا لِلْمُتَّقينَ إِماما.

(The believers are) those who pray to God saying, Our Lord! Grant us comfort in our spouses and descendants, and make us the role models of the righteous. (Qur’an, 25:74).

وَ مِنْ آياتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْواجاً لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْها وَ جَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَ رَحْمَةً إِنَّ في‏ ذلِكَ لَآياتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُون .

And of His signs is that He created for you mates from your own selves that you may take comfort in them, and He ordained affection and mercy between you. There are indeed signs in that for a people who reflect. (Qur’an, 30:21).

وَ إِذْ قالَ لُقْمانُ لاِبْنِهِ وَ هُوَ يَعِظُهُ يا بُنَيَّ لا تُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ إِنَّ الشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظيم.

Luqman said to his son, as he advised him: “O my dear son! Do not ascribe any partners to God. Polytheism is indeed a great injustice.” (Qur’an, 31:13).

وَ وَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسانَ بِوالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْناً عَلى‏ وَهْنٍ وَ فِصالُهُ في‏ عامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لي‏ وَ لِوالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصير.

We have enjoined man concerning his parents: His mother carried him through weakness upon weakness, and his weaning takes two years. Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the return. (Qur’an, 31:14).

وَ إِنْ جاهَداكَ عَلى‏ أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بي‏ ما لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُما وَ صاحِبْهُما فِي الدُّنْيا مَعْرُوفاً وَ اتَّبِعْ سَبيلَ مَنْ أَنابَ إِلَيَّ ثُمَّ إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِما كُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُون .

But if they urge you to ascribe to Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them. Keep their company honorably in this world and follow the way of him who turns to Me penitently. Then to Me will be your return, whereat I will inform you concerning what you used to do. (Qur’an, 31:15).

يا بُنَيَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلاةَ وَ أْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَ انْهَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَ اصْبِرْ عَلى‏ ما أَصابَكَ إِنَّ ذلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُور.

O my son! Maintain the prayer and bid what is right and forbid what is wrong, and be patient through whatever may visit you. That is indeed the steadiest of courses. (Qur’an, 31:17).

وَ لا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَ لا تَمْشِ فِي الْأَرْضِ مَرَحاً إِنَّ اللَّهَ لا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتالٍ فَخُور.

Do not turn your face away from people out of arrogance; nor walk in the street exultingly; verily, God does not like any self-conceited Boaster. (Qur’an, 31:18).

وَ اقْصِدْ في‏ مَشْيِكَ وَ اغْضُضْ مِنْ صَوْتِكَ إِنَّ أَنْكَرَ الْأَصْواتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمير.

Lower your voice. For the harshest of all voices is the donkey's voice. (Qur’an, 31:19).

لَّقَدْ كاَنَ لَكُمْ فىِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كاَنَ يَرْجُواْ اللَّهَ وَ الْيَوْمَ الاَْخِرَ وَ ذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا.

In the Apostle of God there is certainly for you a good exemplar, for those who look forward to God and the Last Day, and remember God greatly. (Qur’an, 33:21).

فَلَمَّا بَلَغَ مَعَهُ السَّعْيَ قالَ يا بُنَيَّ إِنِّي أَرى‏ فِي الْمَنامِ أَنِّي أَذْبَحُكَ فَانْظُرْ ما ذا تَرى‏ قالَ يا أَبَتِ افْعَلْ ما تُؤْمَرُ سَتَجِدُني‏ إِنْ شاءَ اللَّهُ مِنَ الصَّابِرين .

When he was old enough to assist in his endeavor, his father Ibrahim said: “My son! I see in a dream that I am sacrificing you. See what you think.” and Ishmael answered, “Father! Do whatever you have been commanded. If God wishes, you will find me to be patient. (Qur’an, 37:102).

وَ وَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسانَ بِوالِدَيْهِ إِحْساناً حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهاً وَ وَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهاً وَ حَمْلُهُ وَ فِصالُهُ ثَلاثُونَ شَهْراً حَتَّى إِذا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُ وَ بَلَغَ أَرْبَعينَ سَنَةً قالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْني‏ أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتي‏ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَ عَلى‏ والِدَيَّ وَ أَنْ أَعْمَلَ صالِحاً تَرْضاهُ وَ أَصْلِحْ لي‏ في‏ ذُرِّيَّتي‏ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَ إِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمين.

We have enjoined man to be kind to his parents. His mother has carried him in travail, and bore him in travail, and his gestation and weaning take thirty months. When he comes of age and reaches forty years, he says, “My Lord! Inspire me to give thanks for Your blessing with which You have blessed me and my parents, and that I may do righteous deeds which may please You, and invest my descendants with righteousness. Indeed, I have turned to you in penitence, and I am one of the Muslims.” (Qur’an, 46:15).

قَدْ كانَتْ لَكُمْ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ في‏ إِبْراهيمَ وَ الَّذينَ مَعَهُ إِذْ قالُوا لِقَوْمِهِمْ إِنَّا بُرَآؤُا مِنْكُمْ وَ مِمَّا تَعْبُدُونَ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّه.

There is certainly a good exemplar for you in Abraham and those who were with him, when they said to their own people, “Indeed, we repudiate you and whatever you worship besides God.” (Qur’an, 60:4).

لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن سَعَتِهِ وَ مَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنفِقْ مِمَّا ءَاتَئهُ اللَّهُ لَا يُكلَِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا مَا ءَاتَئهَا سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا.

Let the man of means spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what God has given him. God puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. (Qur’an, 65:7(.

يَأَيهَُّا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُواْ أَنفُسَكمُ‏ْ وَ أَهْلِيكمُ‏ْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَ الحِْجَارَةُ عَلَيهَْا مَلَئكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَ يَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُون‏ .

O you who have faith! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are] assigned [angels, severe and mighty, who do not disobey whatever God has commanded them, and carry out what they are commanded. (Qur’an, 66:6).

يا أَيُّهَا الَّذينَ آمَنُوا تُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ تَوْبَةً نَصُوحاً عَسى‏ رَبُّكُمْ أَنْ يُكَفِّرَ عَنْكُمْ سَيِّئاتِكُمْ وَ يُدْخِلَكُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْري مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهارُ.

O you who believe, you shall repent to God a firm repentance. Maybe your Lord will then remit your sins and admit you into gardens with flowing streams (into heaven). (Qur’an, 66:8).

ضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلاً لِلَّذينَ كَفَرُوا امْرَأَتَ نُوحٍ وَ امْرَأَتَ لُوطٍ كانَتا تَحْتَ عَبْدَيْنِ مِنْ عِبادِنا صالِحَيْنِ فَخانَتاهُما فَلَمْ يُغْنِيا عَنْهُما مِنَ اللَّهِ شَيْئاً وَ قيلَ ادْخُلاَ النَّارَ مَعَ الدَّاخِلين.

God cites as examples of those who have rejected, the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. They were married to two of our righteous servants, but they betrayed them and, consequently, they could not help them at all against God. The two of them were told, “enter the Fire with those who will enter it.” (Qur’an, 66:10).

وَ ضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلاً لِلَّذينَ آمَنُوا امْرَأَتَ فِرْعَوْنَ إِذْ قالَتْ رَبِّ ابْنِ لي‏ عِنْدَكَ بَيْتاً فِي الْجَنَّةِ وَ نَجِّني‏ مِنْ فِرْعَوْنَ وَ عَمَلِهِ وَ نَجِّني‏ مِنَ الْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمينَ.

And God cites as an example of those who believed the wife of Pharaoh. She said: “My Lord, build a home for me near You in Paradise, and save me from Pharaoh and his works; save me from the transgressing people.’ (Qur’an, 66:11).

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Topic Tags:

- Family [5]

- Upbringing of Children [6]

- Marriage [7]

Author(s):

- Abolfazl Sabouri [1]

Source URL: https://www.al-islam.org/family-interaction-abolfazl-sabouri

Links
[1] https://www.al-islam.org/person/abolfazl-sabouri
[2] https://www.al-islam.org/printpdf/book/export/html/119628
[3] https://www.al-islam.org/printepub/book/export/html/119628
[4] https://www.al-islam.org/printmobi/book/export/html/119628
[5] https://www.al-islam.org/tags/family
[6] https://www.al-islam.org/tags/upbringing-children
[7] https://www.al-islam.org/tags/marriage