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There is no book of Hadeeth compiled by Shia or Sunni scholars which is 100% and fully authentic in each and every narration. Al-Kafi is the most authentic book of Hadeeth among Shia scholars. Bukhari is claimed to be fully authentic by many Sunnis but it contains narrations which go against Quran and allegation against the Prophets. The authentic Hadeeths in Al-Kufi are more in number than all the total authentic Hadeeths in all the six books of Sunni Hadeeth الصحاح الستة. 
Number of unrepeated narrations in Saheeh al-Bukhari is 2602 and in Saheeh Muslim 4000, while the number of unrepeated narration mentioned in both Bukhari and Muslim is 2514 narrations.

Al-Kafi alone has 16199 narrations.

Wassalam.

This Hadeeth has been narrated in many wordings but with the same meaning. This called Tawaatur Ma'nawi تواتر معنوي.

In Saheeh Muslim , V. 6, P. 22 Kitab al-Imaarah : Who dies without allegiance in his neck, will die a death of Jahiliyyah.

In Musnad Ahmed Ibn Hanbal , V. 4, P. 96: Who dies  with out Imam, will die a death of Jahiliyyah.

In Kitab al-Sunnah by Ibn Abi 'Aassim , P. 489: Who dies with out Imam on him will die a death of Jahiliyyah.

The Hadeeth is also narrated in the most authentic Shia books of Hadeeth like al-Kaafi, V.1, P.276 and in many other books. It means that the meaning of this Hadeeth is Ijmaa' (unanimous) between all Muslims.

Wassalam.

You could ask them to provide a coherent answer to who it does refer to, because it is quite a struggle to find a list of 12 names - other than the 12 Imams - that somehow relate to each other and aren't arbitrary that fit that hadith.

However, these discussions are usually unfruitful because usually people approach them with their own preconceived biases in mind, so you have to decide whether or not there will be a benefit to the debate. Sometimes it is good just to say your point once, and then move on and let them ponder it on their own.

There is a lot of material you could look at online including on this website for more details on that hadith and ways it has been interpreted by Sunnis and Shi'is.

1. Printing machines were not allowed among many Muslims because of the misunderstanding of some Shaikhs about the procedure  of printing machines. Sunni Shaikhul Islam in Istanbul (Capital of the Sunni Othmani  Empire ) and Sunni leading Shaikhs did not allow using printing machines in printing religious books for around three centuries after the printing machines were used in Europe in the 15th century. It was in 18th century or 19th century when Sunni Shaikhs allowed using printing machines. That delay of three centuries caused lot of harm to the education and learning chances for millions of Muslims. Shia scholars allowed using printing machines and many books of Shia Hadeeth were printed in Iran and India where Shia scholars were active like Lucknow, Kalkutta, Bombay and Hyderabad.

More important than printing is compiling the books of Hadeeths. Sunni rulers of Saqeefah were openly against writing, narrating, learning and teaching the Hadeeths. Abu Bakr asked his daughter as she said, to bring to him all the written Hadeeths and they collected five hundred Hadeeths. He spent a restless nigh till next morning when set all collected 500 Hadeeths in fire. (Tathkirat al-Huffadh by al-Dhahabi , V. 1, P. 5).

Omar ibn al-Khattab was very strict against narrating and Hadeeth from the Prophet Muhammad. He gave strict orders to people not to narrate, mention, teach,bleary or write any Hadeeth. He put leading Sahaba like Abdullah ibn Mas'ood,  Abu Thar and Abu al-Dardaa' in jail because of their narrating Hadeeths. ( Al-Mustadrak 'ALAL Saheehain by al-Haakim al-Nisabori, 1:193.

The famous Sunni Shaikh, Abu Bakr ibn al-'Arabi mentioned his book Al-'Awaassim min al-Qawaassim 1: 87 that Omar put Abdulllah ibn Mas'ood and number of Sahabah in jail for one year in Madinah till he was killed because of their narrating Hadeeths which they heard from the Prophet (SAWA).

Wassalam.