My male friend asked me on phone like they ask in Nikah and I said yes to it. There was no one present at that time on my side but he says that we are in Nikah. Is it actually valid? | Ask A Question | Al-Islam.org

My male friend asked me on phone like they ask in Nikah and I said yes to it. There was no one present at that time on my side but he says that we are in Nikah. Is it actually valid?

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Rebecca Masterton, Dr Rebecca Masterton graduated with a BA in Japanese Language and Literature; an MA in Comparative East Asian and African Literature and a PhD in Islamic literature of West Africa. She has been... Answered 6 years ago

Your male friend asking you to marry him and you saying 'yes' sounds like the proper phrasing for marriage has not been done, since it consists of the woman proposing to the man, saying 'zawwajtuka nafsi 'ala sidaq al-ma'lum', meaning 'I marry myself to you with an agreed mahr'. The man then says 'qabiltu al-tazwij 'ala sidaq al-ma'lum', meaning 'I accept the marriage with the agreed mahr'. Prior to this, you should have both agreed what mahr [marriage gift] he should give you. According to Wikishia: "The Marriage formula should be recited in correct manner. If even one letter is changed in the formula which changes the meaning, the contract will be void."

If this has been fulfilled, then your marriage would technically be valid, but a word should be said about the issue of 'technically fulfilling the law' while not fulfilling its spirit. Marriages can often be contracted that do not in practice honour the respect of either party. Being technically married Islamically does not guarantee that the situation itself supports that respect. It is wise to be wary of being exploited or manipulated, or coerced into a situation that is not beneficial or appropriate for you in the long term. Being asked over the phone raises doubts about whether you are being given the proper respect, even if it were a long distance proposal.

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 6 years ago

Possibly. Reciting nikah over the phone with the intention to conduct a marriage in and of itself is valid, insofar as it is done properly and seriously and there are no factors that would invalidate the marriage. In Shi'i law, witnesses are not required to solemnize a marriage.

However, there are a lot of questions here. Were you both serious about marrying each other, or was it just a sort of joke? Were you able to understand what he said and confirm that he actually recited the marriage formula on your behalf correctly? (If you don't speak Arabic, or if he was mumbling, for all you know he could have been reciting a grocery list.) Was it a first marriage for you, which would generally require the consent of your father or grandfather? What about serious matters, such as mahr and maintenance? Do you even want to be bound to him, or are you trying to find a way out of this?

Might I suggest that this wasn't the best plan. Given that there are so many uncertainties, it would be good to ask a specialist in Islamic law (such as a local alim) to intervene and sort it out.

In the future, might I suggest that if you want to contract an Islamic marriage on the spur of the moment over the phone, it might be wiser to stick with temporary marriage, which leaves you with far fewer complications.