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Those who were been martyred in the way of Allah are alive ( Sura 2, verse 154 and Sura 3, verse 169). No doubt that the martyrs listen to us when we talk to them. In fact, every dead person can hear us when we talk to him loudly as the Prophet (SAWA) spoke to the dead Kafirs who were killed in the battle of Badr.

Martyrs have real life in which they can listen. Regarding the letters, it depends on the status of the martyr. Letters written to the Infallible Imams will be seen they them and might be even replied, but that is not for every martyr.

'Wassalam.

Yes. Woman can be a martyr in different ways. Mother of Ammar ibn Yaasir was martyred by the disbelievers in Makkah and mother Wahab was martyred in Karbala and any Momina who dies with the love of Ahlul Bayt (AS) will die as a martyr. (Tafseer Al-Zamakhshari , v. 4,  Tafseer Al-Raazi) v. 27.

Wassalam.

Books of History mention that Hazrat Abul Fazl Al-Abbas (a.s.) had 5 sons;

1. Obaydullah, 
    2.    Al Fazl, 
    3.    3. Al Hasan, 
    4.    4. Al Qasim and 
    5.    5. Muhammad. 
    6.    History also mentioned that he had 2 daughters. Mohammad Ibn Al-Abbas is mentioned as one of the Martyrs in Karbala. 
Obaydullah son of Al-Abbas Ibn Ameerul Momeneen (a.s.) is been mentioned as the son who left children. All  the grandchildren of Al-Abbas (a.s.) were from the sons of Obaydullah. The grand and great grand children of Al-Abbas (a.s.) are many and they include many Scholars and very pious Momeneen and very respected Personalities in the history of Muslims. Of the well-known personalities from the great grandchildren of Al-Abbas is Al-Hamza who is buried in Al-Midhatiyyah near Al-Hilla and the whole area is now is called after him as Al-Hamza.     
Wassalam.

Some of the martyrs were like that before Karbala like Zuhair ibn al Qayn who was previously a supporter of Othman ibn Affan, but after listening and following Imam Hussain (AS), he believed fully in Ameerul Mo'mineen and Imam Hasan and Imam Husain (AS), that is why he sacrificed his life in the way of Allah under the divine leadership of Imam Husain (AS).

Wassalam.