In this case, it is sinful. If they are all gossiping about you, try to understand why, and seek advice regarding the issues they are raising, to see if they genuinely have a point, and if you should try to look at their perspective. As for spying and violating someone else's privacy, this is haram.
As a virgin Muslim girl, you need your father's or your paternal grand father's approval for your marriage. If your father's refusal is based on un Islamic reasons, then you might try convincing him through your relatives of family friends who can talk to him. You should always keep the respect for your parents and never utter a word which can harm their feelings.
In case your father insists on rejecting for un Islamic reasons, you can refer to you Marje' of Taqleed and seek his advice or verdict after explaining your situation.
Virgin girl needs the permission of her father or her paternal grand father in her marriage.
Non virgin woman does not need her parents' permission in her marriage. Man also does not need permission in his marriage.
If your parents are not happy with your marriage for religious grounds like the person is non Muslim or non believer or non religious etc, you should avoid such marriage. If their disapproval is based on cultural or ethnic or economic reason which are not valid in Islam, you will not be harmed as far as you follow the teachings of the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS).
No one has the right to force you to marry whom they want against your wish. This is the Islamic rule in all Islamic Sunni and Shia sects.Forced marriage us invalid. It is your life and you have the full right to choose your husband who should be a suitable Muslim man who follows Ahlul Bayt (AS) like you.
You may try to convince your parents either directly with very polite way, or indirectly through persons who can convince them. You should never give up and put your life with a person who is not suitable for you or a person who might create obstacles in your way to Allah, the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS).
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