1. Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims
  2. Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

88 Questions

Can the husband and his mother force the wife to agree to have children?
Zaid Alsalami

Bismihi ta'ala

This is something that the couple should have outlined prior to their marriage, especially if the husband or the wife does not have any interest in having children. After marriage, although the husband or his mother cannot "force" the wife to have children, she should see this from a different perspective. 

Our religion encourages us to have children, and many of them. There are numerous narrations from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) that stress on having multiple children, and praises a woman who bears children. Motherhood is the most honourable thing a person can achieve, so what would want a wife to avoid having such a status.

She does not need to be forced. She only needs to look within and realise that it is going to be the greatest thing in her life. 

It will also keep her marriage and strengthen the bond between her and her husband. 

If, for example, she is having trouble with her husband, and she does not know whether her marriage will last or not, so she thinks pregnancy will be a bad choice. Or there is violence in the household, and she does not want to have a baby to be in such an environment. Or other situations that would jeapordise her relationship with her husband, then she must be very frank and straightforward about this. 

Most important for her to know is building a family is the most valuable thing a person can do. 

With prayers for your success. 
My father is physically and verbally abusive to my mother and siblings despite them never cursing or harming him. What should I do as a daughter?
Zaid Alsalami

Bismihi ta'ala

I think the initial response you would probably hear is be patient, he is probably under pressure, try not to take sides, and so on. 

However, if such a man has no consideration for religious teachings or moral conduct, then the only solution is authority. Once upon a time elders would intervene, and such a husband/father would be deterred and feel ashamed, resulting in stopping such behaviour. Unfortunately, our communities do not have that level of respect anymore. 

It starts with your mother, as she needs to have the courage and ability to leave him. She must know that by her staying in this relationship she is exposing her children to violence, trauma and irreversible damage. She probably comes from a mindset that no matter what, the husband/father can do anything, but this is extremely wrong and damaging. 

By contacting the authorities, although your mother, or even some family members would be upset with you, but you are stopping and preventing harm upon your mother and your siblings. 

The police, social workers, court, etc will be able to give something to him that you or your mother cannot, and that is help. He needs help, for anger management, maybe for mental stability. Maybe just a reminder that he cannot get away with this kind of oppressive behaviour, and so on. 

You will certainly be doing the right thing and bring this to an end.

These are my views on domestic violence and living with someone who systematically and continuously abuses family members. Of course, you should try to consult with someone close to you, and reach out for help, and also pray for your father as well. 

In shaa Allah other specialists in this forum will give suggestions and advice to you as well.

With prayers for your success. 
My mother didn't pray her Wajib prayers for many years. As her son, and being the only child, do I have to perform her Qada prayers? If so, how should I get started given that I do not know how many prayers she had missed?
Zaid Alsalami

Bismihi ta'ala

Assuming that your mother has passed, besides whether it is wajib for you or not, it would be the most noble and most loyal thing for you to do. Your mother might have forgotten, or unintentionally neglected, or gone through some difficulties, and did not perform her acts of worship. 

You, the loyal son, are able to compensate that and the reward and blessings will not only go to her, but to you as well. In some hadiths it says there are some children who are loyal to their parents while alive, and not loyal when they die. Being not loyal is not doing dua or prayers or good deeds for them. 

If you cannot roughly estimate, or have no idea, you have two options:

1. Pray what you can, as long as you are healthy and have time. The bonus is it's extra 'ibadah for you, which is a wonderful thing. 

2. You can hire someone to do the 'ibadaat on behalf of your mother. There are many poor mu'mineen/mu'minaat who live off doing 'ibaadaat hire. Pay for whatever you are financially capable of. 

With prayers for your success. 
Can co-parents-in-law marry such as a husband's father and a wife's mother?
Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi

Yes it is permissible for husband's father to marry the mother-in-law of his son if she is widowed or divorced. Wife is Mahram for her father-in-law only not for his sons and husband is Mahram for his mother-in-law only not for her other daughters. This rule of being Mahram does not include the parents of the husband and wife. 
'Your mother-in-law must observe Hijab from your father but not from you. Obviously, when they are non-Mahram to each other, marriage between them is permissible.

Wassalam.