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This question and the whole etiquette of marriage, what is permitted, allowed, and impermissible is nicely explained in the following books: Marriage and Morals in Islam by Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi: https://www.al-islam.org/marriage-and-morals-islam-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi/chapter-three-islamic-sexual-morality-2-its

I also suggest to browse the category if Marriage of Al-Islam.org to find more useful texts and lectures on the subject: https://www.al-islam.org/library/marriage

Zawj زوج means spouse and not only wife. The translation which you are referring to is not accurate. It should be (O believers, some of your spouses and children are enemies to you, so beware of them) 64:14.

Wassalam