It is not allowed at all. Singing itself is not permissible in any case even if the person is alone, what about with other gender. Family gatherings must be away from any sinful act.
‘Sinners who repented and left sinful acts can marry like others. The Hadeeth states: The repented from the sin is like the person who has not committed the sin).
Wearing red cloth is Makrouh (disliked) for men. If it is fully red not mixed with another colours, but it is not Makrouh if you are sitting at home with your family members. (Wasaa'il Al Shia Hadeeth no. 5804)
Shia man is allowed to marry a Muslim woman from any Muslim sect as far as such marriage will not harm his faith and religious practice. If your mother is disagreeing, then you need to do everything you can to convince her and make agree without forcing her. You should never cause anything which hurts the respect or the feeling of your parents.
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