You must always respect your parents no matter how they behave and you must avoid any act or word which can hurt their feelings. Even if ur father is misbehaving with ur mother u are not to confront him as it can hurt his feelings and cause disrespect to him. You can support your mother emotionally with out disrespecting your father.
Whatever your view may be about man-made laws and courts, it has nothing to do with shirk and kufr. It seems the issue your wife has with you is not about courts. What you should is try to mend the relationship, if you can, and avoid having these kind of arguments.
She can request this from her husband, and the husband should comply. He has no right to force her to stay with him. He needs to give himself self-respect and cooperate.
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