It is not allowed at all. Singing itself is not permissible in any case even if the person is alone, what about with other gender. Family gatherings must be away from any sinful act.
No, it is not mandatory, and she does not need to do any household responsibilities for them, unless it is out of her own good-will and her kindness.
Her focus should be on her new life with herself and her husband, and her only duty to her in-laws is respect them like her own parents, honour them, treat them well, but does not need to do anything she does not want to.
Her husband and her in-laws should of course know what Islam says, and should accommodate to this as well.
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