Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

175 Questions

It is better to keep your issues with your husband between you and him with out involving others as much as possible. If you both are completely unable to sort your things together then a person from your family with a person from his family can be involved to sort things out. Don't try to make your parents take a negative opinion about your husband by hearing your side of the story before hearing his side. Involving your parents should repair and strengthen the relation between you and your husband and never to create enmity or bad feeling between them and your husband. You and your husband should talk peacefully to understand the reasons of your misunderstands and to try to avoid it as much as possible.

Wassalam.

Women have looked to marriage to escape difficult family situations for ages, and it is natural to want to get married at your age.

If you choose that route, be sure that the person you marry is a good choice (as much as you can tell) so that you go into a better situation, not a worse situation. 

Sometimes girls tend towards marrying someone like their father, because he is a familiar model of manhood, and if he has some difficult traits, be sure those are not found in your future husband.

Also, my personal advice is, do not tell your future husband that you married him to leave home, because that can make you seem vulnerable or might make him feel unwanted. Rather, just focus on building a life together and the positive aspects of being together. 

If you can move away for university, study abroad, work, or other opportunities, that may also be an option. Financial independence can give you security and let you marry by choice rather than necessity. 

In any case, it is good to have some idea what your expected future direction might be - for instance, does your family expect you to marry, do they expect you to work, do they expect you to stay home and keep doing the same thing, etc. It sound like there might not have been much guidance or discussion in this area.

Bismihi ta'āla

I would not advice you to get married only for the sake of wanting to leave the house. If you do this, you might compromise your requirements for who you will marry, and your judgment will be wrong, and end up in a situation far worse than staying at home with your parents. 

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

In this case, it is sinful. If they are all gossiping about you, try to understand why, and seek advice regarding the issues they are raising, to see if they genuinely have a point, and if you should try to look at their perspective. As for spying and violating someone else's privacy, this is haram.

And Allah knows best