Ghusl does not need to be done in the shower, but it must be "washing", and water flowing, or to submerge yourself completely under water "ghusl irtimasi". Wiping in front of a sink would not be considered as ghusl, and therefore invalid.
Both women and men should perform ghusl al-janabah after penetrative sexual intercourse (also inclduing anal intercourse).
Also if a woman has an orgasm or climax without sexual intercourse, then the ghusl al-janabah should be performed. It's worth noting that this type of ghusl would make one in the state of wudu so one could perform Salah after the ghusl without doing wudu again.
if a woman is aroused causing some fluid or discharge, this wouldn't make ghusl al janabah obligatiory unless she reached climax.
Man or woman should perform Ghusl Al-Janabah after any sexual intercourse, and after wet dream in which ejaculation takes place, and after orgasm, and after deliberating ejaculation (masturbation) which is itself a sinful act.
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