From a shar'i perspective, only penetration and ejaculation would invalidate a fast, but if they know that even less than this will lead to ejaculation, they must be avoided as well.
In general, while fasting, each side should stay away from these things, and focus on preserving the high quality of their fast, which one aspect of it is supressing lust.
If late wife was not their real biological mother, they have no right to inherit from her. If she was their real biological mother, then they inherit from her.
Involve parents, elders, or your local scholar qualified for this to intervene. Have a meeting, try to find ways of reconciling. Try to exhort all effort in amending the relationship, so that if your only choice is divorce, you will do so consciously and responsibly.
Please watch this, as it will hopefully benefit you in making your decision the right way.
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