Parents

Bismihi ta'ala

Unfortunately, many young adults face this same serious problem of certain parents with a wrong mindset preventing their son/daughter to get married, under the assumption that marriage will hinder their studies, or career prospects. 

We must invite people to adhere to our Islamic recommendations, and keep ourself immune from sin or engaging in illicit or secret relationships.

I would not advice you in any way to secretly get married, behind your parents. This is something that would not be to your benefit. Try to prove to your parents that you are ready for marriage. Show that you are mature, and you have the ability to combine between your college and having a partner. Even if it means your engagement period can be a bit long, but as long as you do not do something haram, or without your family's blessings.

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

Assuming you would have naturally experienced one of the signs of ritual maturity, or bulugh, you become mukallaf. For a boy, these signs are:

1. Having a wetdream.
2. Growth of coarse pubic hair in private parts.
3. Reach age of 15 full lunar years.

As a result, it would be wajib for you to pray, and so if you know you did not pray for about two months, you are able to perform them as qadha`. 

And Allah knows best. 

Bismihi ta'ala

I am sure you know to what extent our religion stresses on obedience and respect to our parents, no matter how old we may be. The necessary actions you must take should in no way wait for your wedding, or be connected with anything else. It should be something immediate and straight away. 

Let's say your circumstance is very difficult, like having an abusive parent, or a parent that was never in your life, or other scenarios that unfortunately could occur, it still does not mean you sever your ties with your parent. Maintaining the relationship is very important, and in the worst of cases, doing dua for them is the least you can do. 

Always remember the hadiths that say our path to God is through our parents, and we will never enter Heaven if we are disobedient to our parents. 

In your spare time, read the hadiths that are on this link:

https://www.erfan.ir/english/28112.html

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

This is a difficult, but unfortunately common situation. As young adults wish to commence their married life, their main focus is stability and building a relationship with their new partner. 

Sadly, with some parents of different generations and incorrect mindsets, their focus is more on gaining social status, trying to please those around them, showing off wealth, etc. 

Of course, at times parents might think that having a lavish wedding is their method of expressing their happiness and love, but indeed this is the wrong and un-Islamic way of doing so. 

Alhamdullilah, the groom is conscious of these things, and his focus is on more important matters. The groom does not need to "donate" the money to the needy. Yes, giving sadaqah is good, but at the same time, this money that the parents want to use to spend of extravagent wedding can be used to invest in their future. For example, as a down-payment for their house, and so on.

I discuss these things in detail on a FB page I have. Please visit it:

https://www.facebook.com/Wedding-the-Halal-Way-1659428630969248/

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

There is a hadith that says: 

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق

There is no obedience to a creation through disobedience to the Creator. 

We cannot obey the laws of others at the cost of disobeying Almighty God. If hijab has been mandated by Almighty God, then we as His worshippers must comply to His law. So, we must not disobey God just to follow what someone else says, even if they are our parents whom we must obey. Our obedience to our parents is obligatory, but not in performing haram acts. 

Clearly, in this case, the parents have a misconstrued approach to how their daughter should appear or conduct herself in public. They might be under the impression that by doing this, she will get married, but of course this is the worst way and its a very damaging approach. 

The daughter should not comply with what her parents want, and respectfully decline, by explaining how unhealthy this approach is.

It's not just a matter of religion, but also on a human value and social level as well. 

In Islam, attraction should not be by the gazing of onlookers, but by personality and moral qualities and righteousness. 

With prayers for your success.