It is not allowed for a Muslim female to expose or post her pictures on social media with out full Hijab. Husband is allowed to ask his wife not to post her pictures on social media if her pictures can cause disrespect to him or her or their family.
Khums and Sakat are obligatory on the owner himself / herself. Your are responsible to pay your Khums and Zakat from your own wealth. If you and your spouse have joined ownership, then both should agree that any of them to pay their dues. Both should have the intention (Niyyah) of paying their dues religious due for the sake of Allah (SWT).
Husband and wife are allowed to enjoy themselves between themselves by their own bodies. Sex toys are not part from their bodies but extra items and outer subjects, that is why using such items should be avoided unless necessary to save their marriage.
I advise you to fully and clearly explain your case to your Marje; of Taqleed and seek his verdict.
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