Parents

A parent is a caregiver of the offspring in their own species. In humans, a parent is the caretaker of a child (where "child" refers to offspring, not necessarily age). A biological parent is a person whose gamete resulted in a child, a male through the sperm, and a female through the ovum.

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Parents . Life . Adolescence . Obedience

As a Muslim teenager, can I disobey my parents' decision about how I should lead my life when I turn 18? Do they have the right to control my life?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 4 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

I am sure you know that in Islam, becoming an "adult" is not defined by turning 18 or 21. We see maturity to be reaching the age of taklif, where we become religiously responsible and accountable.

As Muslims, we also know that obedience to parents has no age limit, and we show our utmost respect and reverence to our parents, as old as we get. The status of parents is above everything, and that is why you should not see it to be "control" in the negative sense.

Parents have authority over us, and in most, if not all cases, they want the best for us. As we grow, we must increase in our level of obedience to our parents, and cater for them as much as possible. We show this to ourselves, and to our children, so our children will learn from us. When we get old, we wont need to struggle, because we have shown our children the right Islamic way of how to treat elders.

You must not disobey your parents, and always try your best to comply to their requirements and keep them happy with your behaviour and what you do. Please read about what our religion says about parents and the abundant reward we get in this dunya and akhirah when we show our obedience to them.

Of course, we are talking about normal situations, but if one's parents are indeed evil, abusive and negatively controlling, then that would need to be dealt with in a wise way.

With prayers for your success.

116988

Parents . Children . Domestic violence

What does Islam say about abusive parents? The children get mentally affected and traumatized and, sometimes, they yell at them in retaliation. Is that allowed?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

Parents are not allowed to do injustice against their children or any of them. Being abusive with people is not an Islamic way to behave. Yet, if the parents or any parent becomes abusive, the children are never allowed to yell at them under any circumstance. Allah says in Quran about treating your parents: And never tell them Uff (any word of annoying) and never raise your voice at them. (17:23).

There is no question of retaliation we deal with our parents, no matter how bad might be. Even Kafir (disbelieving) parents who insist on their children to become disbelievers, must be treated in nice way. Allah says in Quran (If your parents strive to make you a Mushrik (polytheist), don't obey them, and deal with them nicely and kindly)(Sura 31, verse 15).

Wassalam.

115778

Vaccine . Parents . Knowledge . Sin . Coronaviruses

Would I be sinful if I got the Covid vaccine behind my parents' back and without their knowledge as they are against it?

Bismihi ta'ala

If your parents are anti-vaccination, or against the Covid vaccine specifically, and they do not wish to take the vaccination due to a medical condition, which you also suffer from, and out of fear of you getting worse, then you must consult with a specialist and see what they recommend.

If your parents are against Covid for any other reason, and not due to health difficulties you suffer from, then it would not be a sin if you take the vaccine without their knowledge. However, if they have specifically said to you that they will, for example, disown you if you get it, etc, then I would suggest you try to rationalise with them to avoid problems.

With prayers for your success.

115295

Pain . Parents . Silat al-Rahm

If I know that keeping relations with certain relatives will cause pain to my parents is it ok to stay away from such relatives for their sake?

No. Don't hurt your parents in any way but don't cut off with any of your relatives, because it is a major sin to cut off with any relative. Try to do it tactfully to perform your duties towards your parents as well as towards your relatives. Obeying your parents can not allow disobeying Allah Who orders having good relation with all your relatives.

Wassalam.

99011

Children . Parents . Western Society

Is it permissible to become a foster parent in a Western country? If so, how does it work Islamically when most children are not raised Muslim?

Yes it allowed to foster children in any country. Helping and looking after and upbringing any child in need is a noble work which has great reward. Non Muslim children looked after by good Muslims might make them discover the great teachings of Islam and enlighten their life with the light of Islam.

Wassalam.

112181

Parents

If we have permission from one of our parents but the other parent does not want to grant permission, by whose permission should we abide by? Is it permissible to do something that one parent allowed but the other did not?

You should never hurt the feelings of any of your parents. Permission from one parent does not mean to disrespect or hurt the feeling of the other parent. I advise you to avoid any act which might hurt the feeling of any of your parents.

Virgin girl needs permission of her father or paternal grand father for her marriage. Mother's permission is not an obligatory condition, yet, her respect must be maintained properly.

Wassalam.

101552

Woman . Parents . Marriage

I have heard that if a woman wants to marry someone and her parents are not agreeing then it is not allowed for her. Is this true?

Not every Muslim woman needs her father's permission for her marriage. Only the virgin girl needs her father;s permission or her paternal grand father's. If the marriage is not the first marriage, then she is free to decide although it is always good to keep the respect of her father and mother but there no condition on her marriage.

Even virgin girl can get married if she needs marriage to save herself and her father is objecting on the marriage with out a valid Islamic reason.

Wassalam.

110736

Parents . Khums . Money

My parents give me 5 dollars per week, but they don't hand it over and I have to ask for permission to spend it. Is it considered mine and do I have to pay Khums from that money?

Money given to you is your money. If any amount of that money remains with you unspent, after one year from owning that amount,then Khums will be obligatory on that remaining amount only.

Wassalam.

109173

Parents . Children . Disability . Divine Justice

Why does Allah (SWT) bestow on some parents children with a disability? What does it mean for a child who will have this mental handicap throughout their life?

1. Life includes tests. Different persons have different tests. Having a child with disability is a test for the parents just like other tests for other persons.

2. Those who are born with disability are also been tested but Allah compensates them with great gifts in this life and mainly hereafter.

Wassalam.

109188

Parents . Marriage

I am 26, need to get married and been fasting for around 6 months. My parents ask me to get a proper job with a decent salary whereas I lost my past job due to the Covid situation and getting a new job now is difficult. What should I do?

Bismihi ta'ala

Getting married should be completely independent on getting graduated or having a permanent job. As long as you are mature enough to take on the important responsibility of marriage, and stay committed to the relationship, regardless of the circumstances, then get married.

Allah ta'ala is al-Razzāq, and by fulfilling half of your religion and pursuing marriage, many doors of barakah will open for you. Have tawakkul on God, and plan towards your marriage, and leave the rest for Him.

You could have the most stable of jobs, and be married as well, and then it all falls apart. What will you do? If we have less expectations, and spend less on meaningless wedding ceremonies, and focus more on building a relationship, we would be successful in our marriages even if we were the poorest of people.

With prayers for your success.

108707

Man . Woman . Inheritance . Parents . Marriage

If a man or woman marries a non-Muslim are they entitled to inheritance from their parents?

Yes as far as they are Muslims.
Muslim sinner , no matter what type of sins, inherits from his Muslim parents. Non Muslim is not allowed to inherit from Muslim.

Wassalam..

108733

Sin . Parents . Girl . Marriage

I am a man and want to get married due to fear of sin. My parents won't allow it because I am in college. Should I marry now without telling them and then tell them later about the girl without saying I was already married to her?

Man does not need his parents permission for marriage, however, he needs to avoid hurting them or making them feel disrespected.

If you need to get married to save yourself from falling in sinful acts, you should go ahead and get married with a suitable believer female.

Wassalam.

Parents

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