1. Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims
  2. Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

30 Questions

In regards to obedience towards the husband, is his decision supposed to be dictatorial or one made after discussions with his spouse?
Abbas Di Palma

as salam alaikum

a wife should obey her husband provided that he would guide her towards the best and according to obedience to Allah. There is no obedience to any creature that implies disobedience to the Creator.

Man has been given a major role in certain aspects of life, naturally and religiously. On the other side, to the woman belongs a leading role in other issues, naturally and religiously. Other roles, may be performed by both. A religious family should aim at achieving happiness in this world and the Hereafter. Members should help each other and sacrifice themselves for the sake of Allah.

Generally speaking, consultation should always be taken in consideration if possible, keeping in mind that the main focus is to please Allah and not to hurt each other.

With prayers for your success.
How can a woman get divorced from her spouse?
Abbas Di Palma

as salam alaikum

several ahadith discourage divorce to the point that has been said: "The most hated from what is lawful is divorce". Sometimes divorce is necessary but this usually should take place as a last resort after consulting wise people and attempts of reconciliation. In the case of divorce the husband may accept the separation on his wife's request in return of a payment that she may take or detract from her mahr. This practice is called "khul'ah" 

If the situation become islamically unbearable for the wife, she can consult an Islamic Judge that may decide a divorce to take place. Some of the cases that leads an Islamic Judge to such decision are the followings:

1) Refusal of the husband to pay his wife's maintenance.

2) Unacceptable behavior from the husband that unjustifiably hurts and/or abuse his wife physically or emotionally.

3) Lack of religiosity of the husband to the point that becomes unbearable for the wife to continue to live with him.

In any case, it should not be a hasty decision but very pondered one with continuous prayers and appealing to Allah asking for the best outcome. 

With prayers for your success.
Is a girl who wears Hijab perfect to be a suitable spouse?
Amina Inloes

No one is perfect, and no one is a perfect spouse! We all have flaws. It is not good to idealize someone too much before marriage, because, after marriage, we discover they are only human beings, and it can open the door to disappointment. 

However, there is no harm in considering your spouse perfect *after* you are married. It might avoid many arguments. :)

There are many factors that go into a happy and lasting marriage - for instance, physical attraction, personal compatibility, commitment, treating someone nicely, and the willingness to compromise. None of these relate specifically to hijab. 

It is recommended to marry someone of faith who is conscious of Allah. If hijab reflects a person's faith, that is a good sign. However, hijab is not a guarantee of a happy marriage or even of shared views about Islam. So it is safer not to stereotype and to look at the individual instead.

However, it is good if there is agreement about the matter of hijab. That is, if a young man is looking to marry a girl who wears hijab, and the girl wears hijab, then this is a source of agreement and one less possible source of conflict.

 
Is Hajj obligatory on a spouse who is a homemaker and does not earn income?
Amina Inloes

Hajj is prescribed for both men and women in Islam and is obligatory one time on anyone who is able to perform it.

If she is not able to perform hajj (because she cannot afford it, because it would cause hardship, because she is physically unable to, because she cannot get a visa, or for other reasons), then it is not obligatory right now. 

Sometimes we are not able to do things in life because of our circumstances, and this is part of life. We are not responsible for the things we cannot do. 

As the Qur'an says, Allah does not intend to burden us!

If she is not able to go, it is good for her to pray for Allah to grant her the opportunity to go in the future and to have the intention to go if it becomes possible. How often are prayers to go to hajj answered!

If her circumstances change so that she becomes able to do it, then it becomes obligatory.  

However the intent behind Islamic law is that everyone who can perform hajj does so regardless of whether they are a homemaker or not.