Leave the Real Marriage for the Marriage Night
My sister and brother, we have recommended to your parents, and were recommend it to you as well-leave the real and actual marriage to the marriage night. Now that the elders have shown confidence in you, you also endeavour to honour their confidence. Do have enjoyable and lovely relations, but leave the real marriage and its peculiar issues for the marriage night.
I pray to the Almighty that you have a dynamic and prosperous life along with faith, piety, and duty consciousness.
Be felicitous:
أللهم ألف بينهما و طيب نسلهما و كثر رزقهما.
“O Allah! Develop love and purity between them and purify their offspring and make their sustenance plentiful.”
- Youth and Spouse Selection
- Preface by the Translator
- Foreword by His Eminence Professor Ja’far Subhani
- Introduction by ‘Ali Akbar Mazaheri
- Chapter One: Excellence of Marriage
- Chapter two: When Must We Marry?
- Chapter Three: The Merits of Timely a Marriage and Demerits of its Delay
- Chapter Four: Difficulties and Hurdles of Marriage
- Difficulties: Real or Artificial?
- What To Do Now?
- First Difficulty: Economic and Monetary Difficulty
- Second Difficulty: Continuation of Education
- Third Difficulty: Difficulty in Spouse Selection
- Fourth Difficulty: Hurdles and Hindrances of the Elders and Friends
- Fifth Difficulty: Military Service
- Sixth Difficulty: Presence of Older Brothers and Sisters
- Seventh Difficulty: Dwelling
- Eight Difficulty: Inability of the Youth to Manage and Run Their Life
- Ninth Difficulty: Natural Difficulties
- The Philosophy of These Difficulties and Hardships
- Note
- A Word With The Elders
- A Social Disease
- Chapter Five: Criteria of Spouse Selection
- Whom May We Select As A Spouse?
- Subtlety!
- Subtlety in Selection, Smoothness In Marriage
- Criteria of Spouse Selection
- Second: Morality (A Basic and Positive Specification for Both Parties)
- Third: Nobility of the Family (A Fundamental and Unavoidable Condition For Both Sides)
- Forth: Reason (Basic Condition for Both Parties)
- Fifth: Physical and Mental Health
- Sixth: Beauty
- Seventh: Knowledge and Education
- Eighth: Being Each Other's Match (Equity and Proportionate Ness)
- Refuting a Doubt
- Conditions of Compatibility
- 1-Religious Compatibility
- 2- Cultural and Mental Compatibility
- 3- Moral Compatibility
- 4- Educational Compatibility
- 5- Physical Compatibility
- 6- Equality of Beauty
- 7- Equality in Age
- 8- Economical Equality
- 9- Family Equality
- 10- Political Consistency
- 11- Social Consistency
- 12- Psychological Consistency
- 13- Future Equality (Future Must Also To A Possible Extent Be Taken In View)
- 1. Unpredictable Variations
- Predictable Changes
- Discussing the Future Aims and Probable Changes Before Marriage
- Important Caution! Carefulness Yes! Obsession, No!
- Avoiding Negligence
- Love, The Pivot of Life
- Kinds of Love
- Lasting Love
- Mutual Love
- An Artificial Life is Unendurable
- Chapter Six: Selection
- Time to Act
- Selection
- Perfect Recognition
- Ways Of Spouse Selection
- First Way: Seeking Advice
- Second Way: Mediator and Introducer
- Third Way: Investigation
- Fourth Way: Sending A Messenger
- Fifth Way: Writing a Letter
- Sixth Way: Photograph
- Seventh Way: Direct Talk
- Eighth Way: Seeing Each Other
- Considering This Topic In The Light of Traditions
- Caution
- Protecting The Girl's Dignity
- Omen (Looking For Good Augury)
- Self -Sacrificial Marriage
- Remorse Before Marriage
- Important Reminder!
- Family Marriages
- Children's Engagement
- Chapter Seven: Engagement Period
- The Need of an Engagement Period
- The Benefits of the Engagement Period and the Duties of the Girl and the Boy During It
- 1- The Enhancement of Mutual Recognition and Understanding
- 2- Improvement and Training
- 3-Enhancement of Love
- 4- Development of Hope Regarding One's Future Life
- 5- Laying the Foundation Of Independence In Future Life
- 6- Valuing Each Other's Sentiments and Feelings
- 7- Gift Presenting
- 8- Writing Love Letters
- 9- Sincere Visits
- 10- Short Journeys
- 11- Participating in Spiritual Aggregations
- 12- Gaining Knowledge and Arts Regarding Organising One's life, caring for a spouse and the study of books in this respect
- A Worthy Essay in This Connection
- The Length of the Engagement Period
- Leave the Real Marriage for the Marriage Night