Grief

195679

Family . Mayyit . Grief . Death . Qur'an

Is it possible for the deceased to maintain a connection with their grieving family after death? Can they see or hear their circumstances or witness their family's daily lives? Please share references from the Quran and sayings of the Imams.

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 10 months ago

According to narrations, deceased soul can come to his house and family once a year, or once a month or weekly, depending on his degree. If he sees his family doing good deeds, he will be happy and if he sees them in bad situation, he will be sad. (Biharul Anwar V.6, page 257).

Wassalam.

184115

Worship . Blood . Grief

Is drawing one's own blood in grief for Imam Hussain (a) considered an act of worship? If yes, what is the reasoning and justification behind it?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 year ago

If someone does this sincerely and with the intent of it being a gesture of taqwa (reverence towards Allah), love of Imam Husayn (A), respect for Imam Husayn (A), respect for Islam, or something similar, it could be considered an act of worship due to their intention.

It would be similar to other acts of personal piety that vary from person to person, or culture to culture. For instance, many Shia wear black out of respect for Imam Husayn, but it is not a requirement. Rather, it is a gesture of respect, and a way of keeping the memory of Imam Husayn (A) alive in society.

However, this is different from required acts of worship like salat which have a formal intention (niyyah) of worship. And it does not substitute for the required acts of worship such as salat.

Some people use obscure stories such as "Zaynab hit her head on the camel litter or a pole" to justify self-flagellation. This is counterproductive and unnecessary. First, these stories are usually historically unsubstantiated. And, second, it is unnecessary, since we are speaking about acts that are personal and optional, not religiously required.

Allah weighs actions according to intentions and what is in our hearts, and knows best what is accepted. We will see the reality of our deeds in the next world.

168719

Grief . Pain

Is it permissible to adopt an emotionless or stoic demeanor to maintain steadfastness in the face of tribulations?

Yes,it is not only permissible but sometimes it is necessary to maintain steadfastness during tribulations which are usually expected in our life in this world.[sabr] patience,is so important in our life that it came in the Hadeeth:The status of patience from the iman is like the status of the head from the body.even in Quran there are many verses mentioning the great results of patience [indeed the patient believers will get their reward without counting].Az-zumar{39}

wassalam.

112387

Head . Grief . Battle of Karbala . Azadari

I have seen some people smash pots on their head out of grief for Karbala and this causes no blood letting. Is it allowed?

Human beings have their own ways to express their feelings of grief and sadness as well to express their feelings of happiness. Islam allows different ways of expression of feelings as far as it does not contradict a clear ruling of Islam. No one can express his happiness by dancing, simply because dancing is forbidden in Islam. No one can express his sadness by drinking beer or alcohol, simply because drinking alcohol or beer is forbidden in Islam.

People whom you mentioned in your question are expressing their feelings of grief by their own way which does not contradict with any Islamic clear rule, and does not have bad effect on the image of Islam.

Allah (SWT) grants people the reward according to their intentions. These people are observing and remembering the tragedy of Karbala. May Allah (SWT) grant them reward according to their intentions.

Wassalam.

60292

Grief . Depression . Anxiety

How should I overcome worry, grief and feelings of guilt and depression?

Repeating Isteghfaar (Seeking forgiveness) is very helpful for every one especially those who feel guilty.

Remembering Allah and taking His names and repeating it is very useful in treating depression or anxiety or any psychological problem. Remembering Allah keeps the heart peaceful and prevents the causes of depression. More remembering Allah (SWT) brings more peace and comfort in the heart and mind.

Wassalam.

47551

Mother . Grief . Bereavement

My mother passed away 4 weeks ago and I see her smiling at me and can hear her telling me things. How can I stop my heart from grieving?

Nour Tessie Jørgensen, Nour Tessie Jørgensen has an MA in Islamic studies from the University of Copenhagen, Denmark and a degree in Philosophy of Ethics at Al Mustafa International University in Qum, Iran. She works as... Answered 6 years ago

I am truly sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. Our condolences.

There is a difference between grief and longing. You will always long for her presence, especially on days of importance, days of sorrow and days of hardship, but grief is temporary. You must accept grief as a part of the healing process, and you must accept the position that you are in.

Loosing your mother might have pushed you into a dark hole, and instead of struggling to get out, you must let go and let yourself fall into the darkness of it. Only when you reach the bottom you will be able to rest. Holding on to the wall of the hole, you use all your strength to reach the top, but what if you aren’t supposed to reach the top yet? If you let go and find a way to accept your position, meaning your position of sorrow, then you can gain strength to climb out of the hole. Accept that it hurts, and accept that every hardship, every sorrow, and every grief are different. We react differently, and we must give ourselves time to heal. It is your loss and you are the only one entitled to control the grieving process.

Everything in life is part of a perfect system. After the darkness of winter, the spring blossoms. After the darkness of the night, the sun rises. After every hardship there will be ease. Death is a part of that system, and sorrow too. Do not fight the pain, welcome it and let it hurt because nothing hurts forever. One day you will awake and the sun will shine a bit brighter, the ray of sunshine will be a bit warmer, and the beauty of spring will blossom again. Before that, you must rest at the bottom of the hole in what seems like complete darkness. Only after true darkness we appreciate light, but in reality, nothing is ever completely dark. It takes a lot of darkness to cover the light, but it takes a small part of light to change the dark.

You will get through it, though it might not seem like it right now. Allow yourself to feel the pain and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need to. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said, ‘Verily when someone dies, Allah sends an angel to the most grieved member of his family, who strokes his heart and makes him forget the agony of grief, and if it were not for this, the world would never again thrive.’[al-Kafi, v. 3, p. 227, no. 1]