In life, no matter how much good there is, you can always find something bad if you look for it. You can find some fault, some weakness, something that you do not understand or like. You can either develop an eye for the good, or you can develop a critical eye and always see the bad.

Jesus and his disciples walked across a street. In the middle of the street was laying a dog. It was dead probably since several weeks. The disciples stopped Jesus and asked him: “Did you see that poor dead dog? Its body is in such an awful shape. The worms already have eaten the half of it”. Jesus answered: “No, I have not seen that. But have you seen these beautiful white teeth from that dog”.

If you choose for the positive, this does not mean that you are "blind for the so-called reality", it simply means, you have made a conscious decision. Some people have become so critically minded that no matter what the other one does, it is not going to be right. I know we all have faults and things that can get on each other’s nerves. However, the key is, what are you magnifying? Are you just magnifying that annoyance, letting a critical spirit rise up? Or are you choosing to see the good and only focusing on the good? So we should not criticize each other. We should avoid suspicion, avoid spying or backbiting one another. The Qur’an says,

“O you who have faith! Avoid much suspicion. Indeed some suspicions are sins. And do not spy on or backbite one another. Will any of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it. And be wary of God; indeed God is all-clement, all-merciful” (Qur’an; 49:12)1.

Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said, “Jesus always said to his companions if you are my friends and my brothers, do not feud people nor hate them. If you do not, then you are not my brothers. Do not look into people's flaws. But think about your salvation because you are servants”.2

Know that people respond to praise more than they respond to criticism. So the next time you want your husband to mow the lawn, instead of nagging and saying, “You lazy thing. When are you ever going to mow our lawn? It looks so bad.” Just say, “Did I ever tell you that when you are out there mowing the lawn, you look really good?” You praise him like that, and he will mow the lawn every day!

• 1. .
  يَأَيهَُّا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ اجْتَنِبُواْ كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنّ‏ِ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنّ‏ِ إِثْمٌ وَ لَا تجََسَّسُواْ وَ لَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا أَ يحُِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ وَ اتَّقُواْ اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيم.
• 2. . Al-Amali, Mofid, P. 209.