Al-Muakhaat: Did Ansar Offer Their Wives To Muhajirun? - Our Prophet 6 - 96/127

I would like to analyse one quick point over here, about the Ansar doing something interesting with the Muhajirin. We have traditions by Bukhari and some other books, that some of the Muhajirin when they came to Medina, they left their family behind. Like, some of them did not have a wife. So, what the people from the Ansar did, some of those from the Ansar, who had multiple wives, they went to their brother from the Muhajirin who was assigned to them, and he told them, look, I have, let's say two wives, three wives. I am willing to divorce one of them. You choose. You choose one of them. This is what Bukhari says. Choose whichever you like more you're interested in more, and I will divorce her and you'll marry her.

And so, you know, they were so generous, even with the lives that they had and they gave it to the people from the Muhajirin. Now, how do we analyse an incident like that? This is disputed by scholars. Not all scholars accept the validity of these hadiths. Yes, it's in Bukhari and some other sources. But, you know, for us, that's not necessarily an authentic report. But let's assume let's assume that these are authentic reports. How do we analyse that? Is this something appropriate?

Because one objection is look, I mean, your wife is your honour, right, your dignity. And how do you just offer her to someone who just came to your city, even if you have good intentions? Yes. It's understood that that man has come here. He is starting a new life. He has sacrificed. He has left his home behind in Mecca, and he does need a wife. Right? And some of them did not have money, didn't know anyone. They couldn't easily get married. So, we get the intention was right. But in the end, that's not appropriate. This is your honour, and you don't just, you know, give your wife to someone. So how do we address that?

First of all, those men from the Ansar who did this, if this is correct, those who made this offer, it's not like they were selling their wives to that person. No, they divorced the wife and then she willingly married. Because according to Islamic law, you cannot force any woman to marry someone. It has to be from her own willingness, and she must give consent.

So, what we understand is there was an agreement, that one member of the Ansar, would say to one of his wives that we have a greater interest over here in the community and the people from the Muhajirin, they need to get married. So, which one of you is willing? And one of them would be willing. And it was by her permission, by her consent. And that's how it happened. So, it's not like she was forced into this. That's the first observation.

The second observation over here. If you look at the social norms at the time in Arabia, it was very common for a woman to get divorced and remarry. Yes, I know, in our society today, there is kind of a stigma to divorce, you know, people don't view it that positively right? It breaks families, it destroys ruins lives. But in Arabia, this was very common. And the reason one reason why it was very common, is because their ideas of marriage were quite different than our ideas of marriage.

Today, and I think this is probably influenced a lot by Catholicism and Christianity. Today the idea is that when you marry, that's it. You are making a lifelong commitment, husband and wife forever. Even Catholicism bans divorce, by the way. It's not allowed in Catholicism. Yes, these days, because Catholics are under pressure from a lot of groups, when it comes to an abusive spouse, they are forced to make exceptions. But in Catholicism, historically, even if the husband is abusive, there's no divorce. That's it. You're stuck until you die.

So, in our modern times, there is that focus on an emotional attachment between the husband and the wife, and it's a lifelong commitment. In Arabia, that was not the case. Yes, you live with each other as husband and wife, but the wife would be more invested emotionally in her children, and her relatives. You don't find that very strong emotional commitment and bond between the husband and the wife such that if she gets divorced, she is emotionally broken and she can't move on. This was much less of a problem in Arabia. That was their culture, that was their society.

So, I know right now you're thinking, but what do you mean, just end this marriage and go with someone else? How does that work? It was common in that society. It was something pretty normal. This is not something that, you know, the wife would find too difficult to do, because she had that severe attachment to the husband. No, it wasn't the case. So, given social norms at the time, this was not unusual for a person from the Ansar to actually do something like that. So assuming that it is true, this is how we would analyze it.

Having said that, what are your thoughts about this? Do you find this troubling problematic or no, you found the Ansar really acting on altruism and generosity? And if one of the Muhajirin really did not have a wife and the Ansar had numerous wives because remember, they were living in polygamous societies, right?

So, they didn't have, remember back then, they would marry off their daughters at an early age, and suddenly you have an influx. Suddenly, you have hundreds of people. Remember, Medina wasn't that big. What was the population of Medina, when the Prophet arrived? Not that several hundred. We are talking about several hundred. So, when you have a population of, let's say, less than 1000, suddenly you have 200 people coming. There weren't that many women who were eligible for marriage to marry them.

But the Ansar had multiple wives because they lived in a, you know, society that recognized polygamy as the norm. So, that was the only practical option for them. You want to give everything. Exactly. So, when the Prophet made them feel brothers, you know, that bond of brotherhood was so strong, they were willing to make a sacrifice like that.

So, I know this is unusual to do, but remember, their circumstances called for that. This is not something that happened frequently. No, only in those early days. To really welcome the Muhajirin, and make them feel at home, and to just sponsor them from every aspect. They were also given a wife.

Of course, of course, when the wife would be divorced, it's not like next day she's marrying the Muhajir. No, no, they waited the waiting period, when the waiting period, which is, on average, two to three months. When that ended, then they married the Muhajir. Of course. That's a given. That's a given that the laws of divorce and the law of the 'Idda' were observed. Of course, definitely. But, some have objected, you know, this is just not appropriate for you to do. A man of honour, you know, you don't just divorce your wife so she could marry somebody else. That was the objection.

Exactly! So, they didn't make any Islamic violations. And remember, it was with the consent of the woman, with her full consent. So, as unusual as it may sound, but it's not like they violated any Islamic principles, assuming that these reports are true. Yes brother [So, Sayyid, like, I have heard the argument on why Islam allows polygamy is because there were many divorced women at the time and mot enough women to marry them]

One reason why Islam allowed polygamy was because men would go to war. They would be killed, and then they would leave widows behind. So that was one reason: to take care of those widows. But remember, in Medina when this happened, we are talking about a very temporary situation. You have an influx of migrants suddenly leaving their homes, coming to Medina, and at that point, there weren't enough women for them to marry. Because, remember, the population wasn't that big. Suddenly you have hundreds of people migrating. So, this was just to address that particular situation.

Then later, as there were many wars waged against the Muslims, the number of men became less than the number of eligible women to marry. Yes, that would be a problem, that would happen later when there would be wars. So, we are talking just about those early days. Don't think that the people of Medina had a tradition of doing this. No, no, no. This was just the first few days when the Muhajirin settled. That's it. And then it stopped. It didn't happen again.

In any case, this is something that has been mentioned in history. Yes sister. [I was going to ask: what happened to the children? Did they stay with the mother?] Okay, so for the children, it was common in Arabia, if the children were older, then they were old. But if they were young, usually they would be sponsored by the father. So, the father would take care of them, he would spend on them, they would see the mother. They always had access to their mother. But the custody was with the father.

So yes, it was a sacrifice. Remember, a mother moving out of the house. But they did it for the sake of Allah, Subhana wa Ta'ala, just to show that generosity and altruism. It's not easy. I have known some families who have a number of children. It's not that common, but this does happen. And they have friends, a couple who cannot have children. So, they allow that couple to adopt one of their children. Sometimes that does happen.

Now, that's a big sacrifice. You, as a father, mother, have you let go of your child and let them grow up in another house, having another [parent]? But, because you see them so depressed and so desperate to have a child, you say, okay, I allow you to you know raise my child and adopt them, of course, the Islamic way. Adoption, if the identity of the child is preserved, meaning that the biological ancestry is preserved, it's halal. Yes, it's fine.

And of course, when the child becomes older and Baligh, the laws of Mahramiyah must also be observed. So, if that's observed, then no problem.