Zaid Alsalami

Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from ANU, Canberra. He has written and translated several Islamic texts and also prepared educational videos on Islamic rulings and practices.

195171

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 10 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

It is mustahab to conduct nikah publicly, with witnesses attending. Marriage should not be concealed and secret. If, for some reason, you want to do this, you must make sure you meet all the requirements, especially in that the bride needs consent from her father, if she has never been married.

If you both meet the conditions, you can do a temporary contract, to avoid haram, and keep that secret, and then have a public Nikah. Of course, if you do that, prior to the public nikah, you must nullify the temporary contract. 

And Allah knows best

195166

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 10 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

Yes, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You cannot force yourself onto someone, especially if it seems they are not interested. Your dua to Allah ta'ala should be in asking Him to do what is best for you, and for you to evaluate the situation using reason and common sense. 

And Allah knows best

195162

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 10 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

If she was unmarried, he can do a temporary contract with her. As for permanent marriage, most of our esteemed scholars say both must be Muslim. 

And Allah knows best

195141

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 10 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

Yes, it is permissible to marry a Sunni, as long as the person of the other madhhab does not affect your belief in your madhhab.

And Allah knows best

194911

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 10 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

I am not sure what madhhab you and your husband are, as there are different laws in the Shi'i madhhab regarding divorce. 

Please refer to your local scholar for information.

And Allah knows best

194896

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 10 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

No, it is not permissible.

If wife refuses intimacy, this is haram for her, she become shizah, and it is grounds for divorce, if she persists. 

Why would you lose your son. Sharing custody, and being civil about it is very important and to the benefit of both sides.

Marriage counselling and mediation is also very important.

And Allah knows best

194889

Bismihi ta'āla

Education is not an obstacle for marriage, and will not hinder a person in finishing their degree. However, why would you plan to do mut'ah. Why don't you marry her, and maybe postpone the wedding and moving in until both of you are ready. At least you will be halal to each other. 

To answer your question, no, it is not allowed to proceed without his consent. Neither of you should even think about taking things into your own hands and doing things outside the conventional way of how people marry. 

Consider all other options, and consult with respectful elders and scholars before you take any steps in this.

And Allah knows best

194876

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 10 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

If one feels they are "unprepared" for marriage, then should work on preparing themselves, and make that their fundamental priority. Nothing is better than getting married.

Pursuing temporary marriage is not going result in long-term solution, so it is good they do not wish to pursue it. 

Sexual lust is natural, given to us by Allah ta'ala for many benefits. We just need to regulate it, and control it when needed. We are all prone to becoming weak in our self-control, and Shaytan could overcome us. However, with jihad al-nafs, and resisting haram urges, one will see wonders. 

Strong focus on acts of worship is one effective method of coping with lust, especially prayer and connecting with the Lord. 

Avoid anything that leads to rising of lust, like what you see, or hear. Try to fast, as the Prophet (s.a.w.) advised.

Occupy yourself with various activities. Try not to be alone, and interact with family members more. 

The element of dua is also very important. Immerse yourself in supplications, beseeching Allah and imploring Him to keep you pure, and grant you a righteous spouse. 

And Allah knows best

194668

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 11 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

It is not kaffarah that they pay. It is fidyah, which is 750g of certain food items, per day. You can give it to a relative, if they are needy, and it can be given at any time. 

And Allah knows best

194633

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 11 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

You must completely ignore and dismiss these thoughts of doubt. The best course of action to rid yourself of waswasah, or developing waswasah is to dismiss these thoughts and ignore them, and never repeat what you have done.

And Allah knows best

194197

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 11 months ago

Bismihi ta'āla

I would rather recommend that you continue to explore the Ahlul Bayt School of Thought, and then make your decision as to which school of thought you are going to adopt, then commit to it. Should you pick and choose various beliefs and practices from different madhahib, this will do nothing but confuse you. On what basis and criterion will you follow in what to adopt, and from which madhhab?

If one was to do this, they will end up creating their own madhhab. This is why studying and following evidence would be the best approach. 

And Allah knows best

194143

Bismihi ta'āla

Whatever the illness one may have, if they are able to observe all the requirements for fasting, and it not be detrimental to them, they must fast. 

And Allah knows best