Did my husband have a valid reason to be upset about me not wearing a Hijab when I was admitted to the ER for an emergency, considering my condition and the fact that I am a recent revert to Islam without prior knowledge of Islamic culture?
I am a recent revert to Islam(two months) when my husband and I met he said he didn't mind if I remained Christian (I am Irish Christian) and that he would marry me regardless however I revert for Allah SWT although I have not been raised or immersed in Islamic or Arabic culture previously. Recently I became extremely ill and had to be taken into the ER and given two blood transfusions for blood loss and severe anaemia, my husband was upset that I forgot to put my hijab on before leaving the house(for context I could barely walk and was extremely ill, the condition I have has been affecting me long term in terms of short term memory and cognitive function and I've tried to explain this multiple times) he sent me videos of women who had died with their hijabs and on and said there wasn't really an excuse for it and repeatedly told me that if I don't want to be Muslim I should just say and that if I was sincere about Allah SWT I wouldn't have forgotten this, we live in separate countries so I am alone here and when I returned home to recover the next morning he lectured me about sleeping late and not having memorised Al-Fatiha yet, at this point I feel so extremely demoralised and jaded, having gone through this illness alone and having little to no support, he admitted that part of the hijab issue is because he is jealous but won't apologise for how he has treated me and is adamant I am wrong and being manipulative. I don't want to leave Islam but it is becoming extremely difficult for me in terms of support and comprehension, I am alone in a relatively Western country trying to navigate this religion without him or previous understanding of this. Thank you for your advice.
Bismihi ta'ala
Unfortunately, your husband is not being accommodating enough for your situation and circumstance. He should know better that our beautiful religion is tolerant, forbearing and forgiving. You barely being cognitive and extremely sick means your circumstances change, and nobody has right to say anything. Please refer to verse 61 of Surah al-Nur, which expicitly says this.
Marrying a revert means he must accommodate to your needs of gradual learning and understanding, and if he didnt mind you staying christian, then he has no right to object. He should be extra grateful that you have come this father, and whichever path you choose, that is for you.
My advice to you, my sister, is learn more about the religion, study and research, to understand Islam and you will definitely appreciate what it has to offer to you.
Many born Muslims really have no idea what Islam represents, and they definitely do not represent Islam.
Your husband should have more patience, and as Muslims, we are taught to be humble and apologise when we are wrong.
With prayers for your success
