Maybe it is good to talk to someone wise and trustworthy since the believers are encouraged to take advice from each other, so that this can help you make the best decision and figure out why your heart and mind are having different opinions.
If it is possible to explore or further investigate the option you are thinking about, without committing anything haraam or causing any harm to yourself or others, perhaps that might also shed some light on it.
For some things in life of course we don't know about them until we do them.