I want to marry a girl who has been raped in the past but due to her trauma she is not sure if she can provide me with my sexual needs. Am I allowed to have consensual sexual intercourse with her before marrying her permanently?

Sexual Marriage Rape

I want to marry a girl who has been raped in the past but due to her trauma she is not sure if she can provide me with my sexual needs. Am I allowed to have consensual sexual intercourse with her before marrying her permanently?

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12074

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	Nasim Walji Pirmohamed, Nasim Walji Pirmohamed is a religious lecturer and a teacher in Islamic Religious Education, Holy Qur'an and Arabic language. She has translated works from Persian to English, and has been very active in working for the improvement of women’s condition and their mental health across many countries. 1 Question Answered	Ask
	Jaffer Ali Ladak, Shaykh Jaffer Ali Ladak is from Milton Keynes in the UK and has studied at Jami'a Imam as-Sadiq (a) Hawza Imam al-Jawad (a) in Karbala and at Al Mahdi Institute in Birmingham. He is currently completing his Masters Degree in Islamic Law at the Islamic College in London. He has also authored a book on Lady Umm Kulthum, the daughter of Imam Ali (a).No Questions Answered	Ask
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	Ayub Rashid, Shaykh Ayub Rashid is a graduate of the Islamic Seminary of Qom, Iran. He has a BA in Islamic law and MA in Islam and Community Studies from the UK and is also a qualified Muslim Chaplain from the Markfield Institute of Higher Education in Leicester.No Questions Answered	Ask
	Anwar Jaffer, Born and raised in London, Sheikh Anwar Jaffer has a Bsc in Economics and Finance from Queen Mary University of London. In 2010 he began his religious studies in Najaf and transferred to Qom in 2015 where he currently resides with his family. No Questions Answered	Ask

	Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from ANU, Canberra. He has written and translated several Islamic texts and also prepared educational videos on Islamic rulings and practices. 856 Answers
	Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the Islamic College in London and also the Managing Editor of the Journal of Shi'a Islamic Studies. 730 Answers
	Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to religious questions. In the past, he has also spent significant time in India guiding the community. 4499 Answers	Passed

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 3 years ago

In addition to what has already been said, one thing to consider is that when a man or woman is put in a situation where they feel their sexual performance is being tested, it sometimes does not go well, because they feel self-conscious and under pressure to perform, and consequently are too stressed or awkward to engage with the situation.

This is rather different from a situation where two people commit to a marriage, commit to working through any sexual difficulties on either side (including any long-term medical, psychological, or psychiatric interventions), and focus on enjoying their relationship with each other in a holistic manner with an attitude of love and support, which is a less threatening sort of situation, and one that is more likely to nurture a long-term good relationship.

Wishing you both the best!

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If you wish to marry someone, and you know they have experienced an unfortunate traumatic event, then you must be equipped with dealing with whatever situation or issue that arises.

It would not be fair for you, or for her, that you are deprived of your sexual needs, and also unfair that you have some kind of "trial" with her before committing to marriage.

If your question is a fiqhi question, should you and her meet the requirements of having a legitimate temporary marriage contract, then it would be valid for you to do so, but it would not solve the main issue for the future.

Most important is understanding how to deal and interact with someone who has gone through a trauma and how it could affect the marital relationship, and whether or not both of you are able to handle it.

This young lady you want to marry deserves to be treated right and fair, and not pressured into anything, and her situation must be observed. God forbid, you do not want to aggravate her trauma or make her issues worse.

I would advice seeking guidance in getting professional counselling, for both of you, prior to making any decision, as long as you are genuine in wanting to marry her and will patiently assist her, not further harming her or making her life any more difficult.

With prayers for your success