How can I help my 21-year-old daughter cope with the loss of her young friends and help her understand the reasons behind their untimely deaths? | Ask A Question | Al-Islam.org

Daughter Friendship Death

How can I help my 21-year-old daughter cope with the loss of her young friends and help her understand the reasons behind their untimely deaths?

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 10 months ago

Supporting your daughter through the loss of her friends can be challenging, but your presence and understanding can make a significant difference. Here are some ways you can help her cope and process her feelings:

1. **Create a Safe Space for Expression**: Encourage her to share her feelings about her friends and their deaths. Let her know that it's okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or even guilty. Listen actively without judgment, and validate her emotions.

2. **Encourage Open Conversations**: Discuss the circumstances surrounding her friends' deaths if she is comfortable. Help her understand that sometimes, life can be unpredictable and bitter. Be honest, but also sensitive to her emotional state.

3. **Share Your Own Feelings**: Let her know that you also feel sad about the loss. Sharing your own emotions can help her feel less isolated in her grief.

4. **Seek Professional Support**: If she is struggling significantly, consider suggesting that she speak with a therapist or counselor who specializes in grief. Professional support can provide her with coping strategies and a safe space to process her feelings.

5. **Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms**: Help her find ways to cope with her grief, such as journaling, creating art, or engaging in physical activities. Encourage her to express her feelings in ways that feel comfortable to her.

6. **Honor Their Memory**: Suggest ways to remember her friends, such as reciting Fatiha , arranging a Majlis, initiating a noble cause work, creating a memory book, planting a tree, or participating in a charity event in their honor. This can provide a sense of purpose and connection.

7. **Be Patient**: Grieving is a process that takes time. Be patient with her as she navigates her feelings, and check in regularly to see how she’s doing.

8. **Encourage Connection with Others**: Help her connect with other friends or family members who may also be grieving. Shared experiences can foster support and understanding.

9. **Educate About Grief**: Share resources about grief and loss, such as books or articles that discuss the grieving process. Understanding that her feelings are normal can be comforting.

10. **Promote Self-Care**: Encourage her to take care of herself physically and emotionally. This includes getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring her joy.

11. **Be There for the Long Haul**: Grief doesn’t have a set timeline. Continue to check in with her and offer support as she navigates her feelings over time.

Remember, your role is to support her and provide a loving presence as she processes her grief. Your understanding and compassion can help her feel less alone during this difficult time.

We always take lessons from the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) who faced the most difficult situations yet had practiced the best regency and patience. We as their followers need take practical steps on the same line of faith and obedience.

Wassalam.