Marriage Proposal

A marriage proposal is an event where one person in a relationship asks for the other's hand in marriage. If accepted, it marks the initiation of engagement, a mutual promise of later marriage. It often has a ritual quality.

144338

Istikhara . Marriage Proposal

After my initial Istikhara for a marriage proposal turned out negative, new positive information has surfaced about the same proposal. Should I redo the Istikhara or consider accepting the proposal?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 2 years ago

Bismillah

Alaykum Salaam

Thank you for your question. If the new information is such that you are no longer confused about the decision you can make your decision based on that new information. If even with the new information you are still confused you can take out another istekhara.

May you always be successful

135670

Marriage . Marriage Proposal

Is it permissible to propose directly for marriage or does there have to be an intermediary?

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 3 years ago

Bismillah,

Asalamu Alaykom,

Either way is permissible as long as one doesn't do so in a non-Islamic way. One could for example message a sister directly and ask her to speak to her family.

May Allah grant you success

129502

Man . Marriage Proposal . Children

Is it okay to accept a marriage proposal from a repentant man who had a child with another woman outside wedlock?

Bismillah,

Yes, such a marriage can be accepted and one's past cannot be judged if they have done tawbah

May Allah grant you success

128402

Man . Islam . Marriage . Love . Marriage Proposal . Conversion to Islam

I have a proposal from a man who is willing to revert to Islam. How do I know he is genuinely believing and will our marriage be accepted if he secretly reverts for love?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 3 years ago

You never really know about people. Even in the time of the Prophet (S), there were hypocrites who pretended to be Muslim. Only Allah knows what is in the heart, and only Allah knows whether people will follow through with a lifetime commitment (such as converting to a religion - or, for that matter, having a lifelong marriage).

Many of the sahabah converted instantly. So if he converts tomorrow, he could be an Abu Dharr or a Salman al-Farsi. Or he could be... someone else. One way you can glean some idea of this is with respect to how he is with commitment in life, in general. Has he followed through on other commitments, or does he tend to jump around from thing to thing? This still doesn't give you a full picture but gives you some idea.

Also, people sometimes change throughout life anyway - there is no guarantee that the person you marry will be the same person forever.

So, you can never know for sure, but it is good to follow your intuition and good judgment and advice from people you trust and who have wisdom. If you are having doubts, possibly your intuition is picking up on signs that your rational mind is dismissing.

You could wait some time after he has converted (say, a couple years) before committing to the marriage to see how he does with Islam.

That said, it is not respectful to doubt that someone is sincere about his religious belief simply because he was not born into it (unless there are some signs that the person is insincere or not thinking straight), and respect is important for marriage. So this should also be sorted out before marriage.

It is not uncommon for women to convert at the time of marriage to a Muslim man and often they remain in the faith and become strong Muslims. Of course, the social situation and experiences of men are somewhat different, but just putting that out there.

Man . Islam . Marriage . Love . Marriage Proposal . Conversion to Islam

I have a proposal from a man who is willing to revert to Islam. How do I know he is genuinely believing and will our marriage be accepted if he secretly reverts for love?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 years ago

We always need to take lessons from realities of life and study the majority of similar cases before emotionally going ahead with marriage proposals based on promises. Lot of marriages have taken place based on a promise to become a Muslim but ended up with different situations few years after the marriage. Emotions before marriage usually don't last long after marriage. Usually married couples face some issues and misunderstandings between them which can decrease their emotions towards one other. Studying the results of thousands of similar cases should make us more careful before deciding as such decision is for life. As many similar promises were not fulfilled properly by many, we need to be sure that person has really accepted Islam for the sake of Allah and decided to follow the True religion. His real practice is must and not his promise. After he really practiced Islam like a good Muslim, then you can assess whether he is willing to remain a Muslim for life or just for the sake of marriage.

In fact just promising to be a Muslim will not make permissible for him to marry a Muslim girl, unless he is already a Muslim.

You need to be sure about your future and the future of your children.

Wassalam.

124275

Woman . Father . Marriage . Conversion to Islam . Marriage Proposal

Is there a Wali for a revert woman with a non-Muslim father? If not, is she able to accept a marriage proposal on her own?

If her father is non Muslim and she is a Muslim, then no authority for her non Muslim father on her and she will be able to decide her marriage with suitable believer.

Wassalam.

122940

Islam . Marriage . Man . Property . Marriage Proposal . Loan

Is it allowed in Islam to reject a marriage proposal because the man does not own any property and is in debt?

A woman is not required to marry a man just because he wants to marry her. She is also not required to give a reason for refusing. Marriage is optional.

The opposite is also true - that is, a man is not required to marry a woman just because she wants to marry him, and he is also not required to give a reason for refusing.

The idea a woman must give her life over to a man simply because he asks - unless she had a reasonable excuse - would indeed be an astonishing form of male privilege.

Islam . Marriage . Man . Property . Marriage Proposal . Loan

Is it allowed in Islam to reject a marriage proposal because the man does not own any property and is in debt?

Main criteria for marriage in Islam is religious practice and good morals. Financial status is not among the main conditions. In fact the Prophet (SAWA) proposed a marriage between very poor person ( Jowaibir) and a very rich woman (Al-Dhalfaa').

The man should be able to earn livelihood for him and his wife and live with his wife with dignity.

Wassalam.

121602

Istikhara . Marriage Proposal

I did Istikhara on a marriage proposal and it turned out positive, however the boy also did Istikhara without knowing about mine and his reply was negative. What should we do?

Istikhara is not obligatory in every marriage. It is helpful if you are unable to decide whether the proposal is good or not.

The Istikhara which you did is for your intention, while the Istikhara which the boy did was for his intention. You need to wait till any change in the circumstances takes place, then if you remain unable to decide and you still need an Istikhara, then both should go for one joint Istikhara.

Wassalam.

116592

Woman . Marriage . Man . Marriage Proposal

Is it permissible for a woman to propose marriage to a man?If yes, how should she go by it and what conditions and rules must she abide by?

Yes it is permissible for a woman to propose marriage to a suitable man. She can convey her proposal through a trusted person or through any suitable way like a letter or an email etc. Such proposal should be studied very carefully because it is not common among men, and it might be misunderstood or misused if the man is not pious enough. The man should be with high degree of faith, religious practice and manners.

Wassalam.

116761

Parents . Marriage . Caste . Love . Marriage Proposal

A boy sent a proposal to my parents asking for my hand in marriage but my parents are making caste an issue because we are both from different castes. My father also has a problem with love marriage. What should I do?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 4 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

As Muslims, we do not believe in caste, and we rather condemn such an attitude. Our criterion for evaluating someone is piety, as the Quran says. It is unfortunate that some parents still carry such a mentality, and hopefully one day we will all be able to implement our religion in the best way possible.

That being said, you must take into consideration compatibility and overall mindset of who it is you are marrying. There must be a good level of compatibility for you and your future spouse to have a successful marriage. It would be best for an elder or a local scholar to somehow discuss this topic with your parents, if you see this suitor to be appropriate for you to marry.

Do not allow this to escalate, or turn into major problems, and try to deal with it in a calm and wise way.

As for "love marriage", this is an unfamiliar term in Islam. For us, it is either marriage, or not. Love is one thing, and legitimacy of a relationship between two non-mahram people is another.

With prayers for your success.

48785

Family . Marriage . Marriage Proposal

Does the family making a marriage proposal have to inform the other family of the previous marriage of the boy that only lasted a month?

Bismihi ta'ala

Although from a shar'i perspective this might not be obligatory, but one is asked it would be haram to lie and not tell the truth.

Also, ethically it is important for both sides to be transparent and clear about everything. Present everything to each other, and it is up to both sides to decide and agree, or disagree.

The problem with concealing such information is should it surface later on, it will become very difficult to contain and could lead to deep issues.

Wassalam