Akhlaq

Akhlaq (أخلاق‎) is the practice of virtue, morality and manners in Islamic theology and falsafah (philosophy).

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Is it permissible to feel resentment towards one's parents if their reckless behavior is causing constant frustration?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 5 months ago

Although it's more difficult to control feelings than to control actions, it's good to try to let go of resentment as much as possible since it only poisons you and does not help anything. It is better to focus on anything practical you can do that is best for the situation (if there is anything), and if there isn't anything you can do, try to focus on other things.

Sometimes as we make our way through life, we get a better understanding of the psychological reasons why parents act in a less than ideal way and can have compassion for that, even if their choices were harmful to themselves, ourselves, or others.

Parents . Akhlaq

Is it permissible to feel resentment towards one's parents if their reckless behavior is causing constant frustration?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 5 months ago

Showing or any type of expressing resentment to your parent behaviours is not allowed. Saying Uff أُفٍ which is a word of resentment is not allowed to your parents no matter what they do.

Wassalam.

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Sister . Akhlaq . Ahl al-Bayt

What are some ways to be a good older sister to my siblings in a manner that is consistent with the teachings of the Ahlul Bayt?

Good sister is the sister who always treats her other siblings with caring and sympathy and looks after them and helps them in every possible way.

Wassalam.

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Husband . Wife . Narrations . Gender . Polygamy . Akhlaq

In what specific matters does a husband need to maintain equality if he has more than one wife? What do the narrations say regarding a person who does not treat his two wives in the same manner?

Husband must maintain practical justice between his wives. Practical justice is in treating them and spending time with each of them equally like he spends time with his other wives. It also requires spending on each of them equally.
Wassalam.

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Akhlaq

Is it considered bad Akhlaq to call someone who is older than you by their first name?

We read in our books of Hadeeth that we should use Kuniya when we talk to others. Kiniya is a respected way to address others who are in front of you. It is like Abu Ahmed, Abu Ali, Abu Husain etc.

In some societies, calling an older person by his first name is considered an act of disrespect. We must avoid any thing which can be taken by people as disrespect.

Wassalam.

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Akhlaq

Is saying slang words that might be vulgar permissible, such as referring to stool of cow?

Saying vulgar words to or about others which is an insult to them is not permissible. Any act of insult to others is not allowed. Muslim should avoid vulgar language because every word is written on us in our book of deeds.

Wassalam.

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Akhlaq . Etiquette

I am trying to improve my Akhlaq and etiquette, but I feel awkward trying to be more soft and compassionate rather than follow my normal tendency of being cold and transactional. How do I resolve this issue?

Rebecca Masterton, Dr Rebecca Masterton graduated with a BA in Japanese Language and Literature; an MA in Comparative East Asian and African Literature and a PhD in Islamic literature of West Africa. She has been... Answered 3 years ago

It's interesting that you have awareness of your usual manner. Have you been told that by someone else, or this is your own awareness? Being around others who are compassionate can help you to learn in a practical sense how to be more compassionate. Sometimes our behaviour patterns have been inculcated in us from childhood by the general dynamics and accepted codes of behaviour in the family, and they are hard to break. If you want to change your own patterns, you can try to do so in small ways where you feel comfortable and not awkward. You don't have to do big gestures that make you feel as if you are not your self. Once you get used to small changes, you can then work on other small changes, step by step.

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Husband . Wife . Akhlaq

My husband flirts and talks to women. It has been seven years now and I am tired of his behaviour. What should a Muslim wife do in such a situation?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answer updated 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If this is the case that you are in, then such a relationship is not a healthy thing at all. You must try to find means of making him cease such conduct, if you have not yet tried, and then intervention, if that does not work.

In my opinion, a wife does not deserve to be treated in such a way, and a husband being flirtatious with other women is certainly not the traits of a Muslim.

Please watch this short clip on how a wife should deal with her promiscuous husband:

With prayers for your success

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Akhlaq . Forgiveness

I did something wrong with a stranger and now I want to apologise for my behaviour but I do not know him nor his address. What should I do now?

If you no way to reach or contact him to seek apology, you should repeatedly pray for him and seek from Allah to forgive him and grant him from His Mercy.
Wassalam.

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Stress . God (Allah) . Video Game . Sports . Akhlaq

I told Allah that I will not play video games anymore, but I feel if I play in a limited manner it will help in stress reduction. Can I take back my words to Allah?

You can not take back your promise to Allah (SWT) as far as you are able to fulfill it even with reasonable difficulty. If you don't fulfill your promise to Allah, it will a sinful act, and you must face a heavy Kaffara which is called Kaffara of breaking the promise كفارة العهد which is feeding sixty poor believers.

Wassalam.

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Father . Salah (Prayers) . Akhlaq

My father doesn't pray often, or he delays the Salat. Do I have to tell him to pray? If so, in what manner should I do so?

You must be more than careful when talking with or about your parents and must avoid uttering any word which can make them feel disrespected.

If your father is unwell and needs to be reminded, you should be very very polite and very nice in your attitude with him.

Wassalam.

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Sister . Akhlaq

I am living at my sister's home whose in-laws also live with her. Is it allowed for me not to interact with them due to their bad behavior towards me?

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 5 years ago

Bismillah,

Asalamu Alaykom,

If you not interacting with them or limiting interaction with them can prevent further animosity and problems, then it may be necessary to take such steps. It may also be advisable to keep a distance away from such people if they are being unjust and rude towards yourself. Of course one should try keep good manners and not stoop to the level of those who are being rude. But it still isn’t obligatory upon you to have a relationship with them.

May Allah grant you success