3 Common Haraams In Our Weddings

There are certain things that are done that disobey Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. There are certain things that are done, they are haram. What are these things? We will try to summarize them in several points Wa salli ‘ala Muhammad wa Aali Muhammad. [Allahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad wa Aali Muhammad.]

Number one: Music. You will rarely enter a wedding that does not have music. Rarely. You are going to a wedding and music is not being played. Only a handful of youth that choose not to have music, part of their weddings and they play something else: an-nasheed or religious songs. Not so much music, but the vast majority from various cultures - whatever culture you go to - many of them, they have music on their weddings.

Some go far as to have to bring a DJ on their wedding. Have a DJ play music on their wedding. Some of them are willing to spend a lot of money on music at their wedding. My dear friends, music is haram whether it is at a wedding or at a funeral. Music is haram whether it is at work, or at the gym, or in your car, or on your phone. Music is music, and music is haram. And there are no exceptions. There is no exceptions. Weddings are not exceptions to the permissibility of music. There are some people who think that music is haram, unless it is at a wedding. If it is at a wedding, it is okay. Raise the volume, it is fine.

Who told you? Who told you weddings are exceptions? Weddings are not exceptions. Music is haram, wherever you go. "Wa jtanibu qawla az-zur"(22:30) Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala says in the Quran "and avoid vain talk", a hadith of Ahl al-Bayt says "this is music, this is singing and music". "Wa alladheena hum 'ani al-laghwi mu'ridoon" (23:3). Surat il-Mu'minoon amoung the qualities ot the mu'minin, the belivers. "Wa alladheena hum 'ani al-laghwi mu'ridoon" (23:3). Those who avoid vain talk, vain speech'. Narrations of the Ahlul Bayt say this is music, this is singing. Let me ask a question. At your wedding, you are starting a new life with a new person. Do you want shayateen to be present or do you want angels? Ask yourself this question?

Who do you want present? You want shayateen? Have all the music that you want and you will have a lot of shayateen. You will have Shaytan and his army dancing at your wedding. But is that what you want or do you want angels at your wedding? Do you want angels to be present and have your marriage, your wedding to be a blessed. Which one do you want? You choose.

Is this how you thank Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala, for finding you someone that is suitable for you, that is compatible with you. Someone who will complete your life. Someone who will share the rest of your life with you? Is this how you thank Allah? By beginning your marriage, your wedding day, with music? This is how you thank Allah? Yes.

On the other hand, there are some people - you know - may Allah bless them, there is no music at their wedding. Instead, they begin their weddings with Qur'anic recitation, with Hadith al-Kisa, with religious poetry and an-nasheed, perhaps with a lecture. I have been invited to some weddings to give a lecture. Some of you are thinking - or you know - "what a boring wedding. To have the Sayyid speak at that wedding." Well, some, they choose to have that.

They would like to listen, maybe to a word of advice on marriage. On how a husband should treat his wife. On how a wife should treat her a husband. Some choose that. They want their wedding to be an Islamic wedding. You know, I tell some people this: when I speak about this, about music at weddings. Some people say "but Sayed, you know, if I do not have music at my wedding, my wedding is going to be boring. Who is going to come to my wedding if there is no music? And if they come thinking that there is music and then there is no music, my wedding will be remembered as the most boring wedding in history. And I do not want that. I want people to enjoy my wedding, to have a good time on my wedding. I want to have - you know - good memories."

The answer: number one, you do not necessarily need to have music. Play religious songs. Play religious an-nasheed. Play poetry and songs of Ahl al-Bayt of the remembrance of Imam 'Ali alayhi as-salaam. 'Dhikru 'Ali ibadah', the remembrance of 'Ali ibn Abu Talib is a form of worship. Have that instead. That is an alternative that you could have at your wedding. Let's start this trend. If one person does it, two, three, four becomes a trend in the community and we can end, we can put a stop to music at our weddings.

This is one. Two... Two, so what? Would you rather have a wedding that is boring, or would you rather have a wedding that disobeys Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala? You are disobeying Allah in that wedding. You are beginning your life with this life partner of yours by disobeying Allah from the first day, from the first start.

Which one would you rather have: be boring or disobey Allah? I am sure all of you would choose to be boring. Even though you could make your wedding not boring. Just because there is no music, it does not mean that your wedding will be boring. Sallu ‘ala Muhammad wa Aali Muhammad [Allahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad wa Aali Muhammad]

Now let's go a step further. There are some that not just have music, but there is also what? There is dancing at their weddings. There is dancing. I am talking about weddings that are not mixed. Men are by themselves. Women are by themselves. Well, obviously men would not be dancing by themselves. That does not happen. But women, in some cultures, in some countries - Islamic countries - women get up and dance. According to a lot of scholars and Maraja', this is not allowed. This is not allowed. Some people think that as long as it is an all-woman wedding or of it is separated, it is segregated, women can play music and they could dance. Who told you? Who told- who said this? Which marja' said this. This is not allowed. Even if it is a segregated wedding, this is not allowed. Music is not allowed, and dancing is not allowed. According to a lot of scholars, yes, maybe you might find one or two that say "that is allowed", but according to most scholars, this is not allowed.

We are talking about segregated weddings, let alone mixed weddings. Let alone mixed weddings. Men and women are together. There is music being played, there is a DJ and there is a dance floor. And before you know it, they are Muslims at this wedding, and they are dancing. They are dancing. What sort of wedding is this? Have we forgotten all of our principles? Have we forgotten about our religion and our faith? What sort of marriage do we want to begin?

This is a place for Shaytan, and you are inviting Shaytan and you are telling him, "welcome to my wedding. Come and do whatever you would like. This is your playground. Come and do as you please". Is that what you want?

I know in some communities, In sha Allah this does not exist in this community, but there are some people listening to me online. I know in some communities - I will not mention names - here in North America. In some communities, there is mixed weddings, there is dancing, and they videotape it, and then they go and put it on YouTube. For everyone to see that at their wedding there was dancing. The husband, the bride. The groom danced with his bride. The father danced with his daughter. That is a bride. He is proud of it, and he is willing to have everyone in the community see it. It is on the internet. Is it not this a shame?

That is it. We have forgotten our principles, our values, our ethics, our manners. We came to Canada, we have to be purely Canadian and pick up all of the values, and we have to have a Canadian wedding. We came to America, we came to Australia, we came to the UK. We came to Europe. We have to have a European wedding. We have to have an American wedding. We have to have an Australian wedding. That is it. We have forgotten all of our values. This is not right. I hope that we can put an end to this dancing at our weddings. Salli ‘ala Muhammad wa Aali Muhammad. [Allahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad wa Aali Muhammad]

Another thing that I have to address, is mixed weddings. Mixed weddings where there is men and women together in the same hall, and the women are dressed up in the fanciest clothing, in the tightest clothing. There is makeup, and I wish it was simple makeup, but there is like 10 pounds or kilos of makeup and perfume and cologne and all that, and they are mixed. And it is perfectly fine. And that is as if there is nothing wrong. You know, if it is segregated, women could wear whatever they would like. Go to a segregated wedding, there is no man seeing you. Put on as much makeup as you want, knock yourself out, wear whatever you would like. But if it is a mixed wedding... There is one hall, men and women are seeing each other. They are sitting next to each other on the same table.

This is wrong. Just because it is a wedding, it does not make it okay. It does not make it okay. Just because it is a wedding. They are mixed, the makeup, the hijab, or lack of hijab. Not the hijab, but the lack of hijab. This is not right. This is not right. You know, at some weddings, there is some people that look forward to going to weddings, because they know that people are going to be dressed up. The guys are going to be dressed up and the girls are going to be dressed up. Basically, it is going to be a fashion show. Obviously, we are going to look forward to those weddings. If it is a fashion show and it is mixed, there is men and women going together, that becomes a fashion show. Do we want our wedding and our marriage to have blessings or no? Or to have la'na from Allah and from the angels? Do you want angels to come and bless our weddings or to come and curse us and curse our weddings?

We must end this culture, my dear friends. The culture of mixed weddings. This must end. This must end. You know, I might sound weird for saying this, but this is the truth. Someone has to say this. We have to end the culture of mixed weddings. We have two choices. We have two choices. Either end the culture of mixed weddings: there is a hall for men and there is a hall for women, and you could do whatever you would like. Men could dress however they would like and women could dress however they would like, and they could put as much makeup as they would like. Or the other option is that: have a joint wedding, a mixed wedding, but ladies can not dress up and no makeup. You decide. You decide which one is easier. Of course, the thought of going to a wedding without makeup, that is unheard of. That is unheard of. So your option is: segregate them. Have a hall for women and have a hall for men. No mixing. This is the Islamic option.

It is not just about the mixing. You see, some people say, "well Sayyid, are you saying that mixing is haram? Are you saying that out of our homes, if we invite guests, we can not sit together?" The problem is not with the mixing. The problem is what comes with the mixing. They are getting dressed, the lack of hijab. There is no scarf, there is no hijab, there is makeup, there is perfume. It is these things that come with the mixing. But if there is perfect hijab, the lady is covered, she has a scarf on, there is no makeup. There is nothing wrong with mixing. So it is not about the mixing. It is about the things that come with the mixing. That is the problem.