Types of Divorce & Importance of Iddah

In the school of Ahl ul-Bayt you do not say "divorce, divorce, divorce" and it is over. The community gets together, you get two judges to sit with each other, two people of respect. Don't go to two Mawlanas, by the way. Yes, you don't have to go to Mawlanas. Get two people of respect, two people of wisdom. Because not everyone with knowledge has wisdom. Anyway. So, you get two people from the comunity together, you sit them down, you sit the couple down. You have a separation period. Not right away your talaq. Separation period! Do not live with each other for a few months, see if you miss each other or no. If after that, they do not want to be together, then the school of the Ahl ul-Bayt says, talaq can be done.

Now, nikah in the school of Ahl ul-Bayt, how many witnesses do we need in Nikah? How many witnesses need to be in the Mosque for Nikah? Two, four? No, you don't need any witness for Nikah. These two, you just make them feel important that day. Come here, sign. The poor guy is not known for anything. You make him happy that day. In the school of Ahl ul-Bayt, Nikah, he don't need anyone.

Talaq, you need two. Why do I need witnesses? Why can't I just do talaq quickly? Because Allah doesn't want talaq to go that's quick. Think, sit back, I tell you and I'm sure the Mawlanas here will tell you: we have been in more than enough cases where you will find someone that may ask why the girl is not allowed to have talaq in her hand? I have dealt with cases where if the lady was allowed to have talaq in her hand, I promise you there'd be a talaq every day in this world.

That's not me attacking woman. A woman, Allah gave her attributes that man can never have. The warmth, yes, the compassion, the emotion, but sometimes that emotion could go overbearing. Tell him I want talaq. Tell him I want talaq. Tell him I want talaq. Then a few days later tell him I love him. 1 minute you are telling me I want talaq, now you're telling me I love him. Yes, I was emotional, but you could have finished the relationship. Ahl al-Bayt said what? There has to be two witnesses. Those two witnesses shouldn't just come straight away and say: okay, where do you want me to sign Mawlana? No, they should ask: who are the two getting divorced? Try and patch them up. Try and make...

You know, the only time, one of the only times you are allowed to lie in Fiqh is to make two people come back together? Lying is haram. Correct? When it comes to marriage references, for example, that people can do, a person can do ghibah, otherwise talking ghibah not allowed. When it comes to making two come back together, you can lie. You could say do you know how much today he told me he loved you? He didn't say anything, the guy was quiet the whole day. But you make her feel like you want to come back together.

You're allowed! Ahl al-Bayt said what? You are allowed two witnesses, the two witnesses come there, and even further than that, what did they say? They said after the two get divorced, there is an 'Iddah to be observed, correct? In that 'Iddah period, the two of you are allowed to still come back and get married without Nikah. Your sister and her husband get divorced. If the Iddah is raja'i and you can return, does your sister need to do another Nikah during the 'Iddah to get back to her husband? No, just a touch between the husband and her. They are back together.

Do you know how many people in the Muslim world, don't know why 'Iddah was there? 'Iddah, number one, to see if there is a pregnancy from the marriage. Yes. Number two, to try and hopefully within those few months, the two can come back. If you as a parent can see that your child wants his wife back, your son wants his wife back, your daughter wants the husband back, don't put your emotion ahead of theirs.

You see, the boy wants to help him get back. I send this as a message to every parent. You could see your boy, misses his wife and you know who caused the issues. Don't let your ego get in the way. If you see your boy is sad, go talk to him, let him get back. 'Iddah was there, not so that three of you that it's over.

'Iddah was there so that you may reconcile, come back, try and find a way you two can talk again. Allah, Subhana wa Ta'ala, didn't want you to forget each other. He wanted a chance for both of you to possibly forgive each other. But some ladies stand around, say, well, we, can we have the right of divorce?

Of course you can. A lady in Islam can divorce her husband. In which situation? One situation is the khula divorce. Yes, the khula divorce. What is it? The khula divorce is, a lady may come to Rasul Allah like she did, like Jamila, or Rabi'a Bint Ma’uwth, came to rasul Allah, and said: Ya Rasul Allah, I, my husband is a good man, but he's short and bold. I don't have any attraction to him. Can I divorce him? Rasul Allah said, Are you willing to give back the garden that he gave you? She said yes. He said very well, because she said I can't fulfill my Islamic duties to him. There's no physical attraction. She was allowed the Khula' divorce. Khula' means what? The woman askes for the divorce, but she has to give mahr back and expenses, possibly above mahr.

Then there's a second type divorce. What is it? The Mubarat divorce. The mubarat divorce, what is it? When the woman asks for the divorce, her and the husband reached a stage of aversion to each other. They don't want to be around each other. And she says that I'm willing to give my mahr back. Khula' would be mahr and more. Because the husband may demand more. In the mubarat, you may say, for example, according to different ulama', the mahr will be going back.

Then there's a third. Which is what? What if my husband is being a devil in this relationship? He hits me, and beats me and hits me and beats me we take it to Mawlana, and he says: Mawlana, I love her. He gets back home and he says to her: you see? Mawlana number one, sees that I love you. Number two, my family has [money] and your family doesn't. And we have him in our pocket. You can't win. She can't win in this world, you are right. Qiyamah she will win!

O you be a dictator in this world. Don't worry. This world was made for you to be a dictator. Keep being a dictator, there is a Qiyamah you will be shown like this. The ulama' realized there are many husbands, when they are hurting their wives, not giving talaq. Is it fair that that lady, the husband 5, 6, 7, 8 years is away. Doesn't maintain her. She keeps going to a different mawlana, one after the other. Mawlana say sorry. I can't. Mawlana, but that man is not looking after my rights. I can't it's his duty, his rights. He's the one who can give talaq.

Until 'ulama like Sayyid As-Sistani, may Allah lengthen his life, and others came and said: listen, if the husband is not giving the divorce, and he is not maintaining the wife, and there is no way of even changing him, if the local Mawlana is not giving you [divorce], come to the representative of the marja', he will allow the Hakim ash-Shara' [Islamic Judge] to give talaq for you.

In the past, no one was informed of this, and therefore many wives lived under dhulm, lived under dhulm, and instead of the fathers. You know. There are fathers, do you know, that say: it doesn't matter if he hits you. I just don't want there to be a divorce, because what do the people say about us? Your daughter is being beaten and you're concerned about the people?

So Sayyid As-Sistani has a ruling, that if you are not being maintained and your husband is not giving you talaq, and no one's giving you talaq, come to the representative of statistically wherever he may be, and you go there, your right. They will call the husband, if he answers and he says there is a chance to change, then al-hamdulil-Lah, they will try and work together. If not. That Hakim ash-Shara' will be the one who will say: divorce done.

In other words, those who thought the woman has no chance of divorce, think again! If a woman wants a divorce and give her mahr back. Give other expenses back or even go to a Hakim ash-Shara', then the woman is able to do that, and that's why you find Rasul Allah would try as hard to tell the people: divorce may be allowed. But it's the worst halal in the eyes of Allah.