Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any), and between them and their in-laws. It is nearly a cultural universal, but the definition of marriage varies between cultures and religions, and over time.

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Employment . Marriage

I am an educated boy but uncertain about my career and do not know what kind of job I will have. A lot of people say that you need to have self-confidence before you get married. What should I do?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 5 years ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. Not having a fully worked out life plan worked out is not the same as lacking confidence in God that you will succeed. If your future spouse is happy with your stage in working things out then there is no problem in getting married.

May you always be successful

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Girl . Infertility . Marriage

Do I have to inform the girl that I am planning to marry about my infertility problems when it is likely that will be a deal breaker? In that case, what can I do?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 5 years ago

You should be very honest, frank and clear with her about such matter if you are medically proven unable to have children. Honesty is more important than a deal of marriage with out informing the girl about an issue which is usually crucial for every girl who accepts marriage with a hope to be a mother in the future. Keeping her in dark is not acceptable at all. If you tell her the truth and she accepts it, then it is good and she can not complain in the future that you cheated her.

Wassalam.

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Sunni-Shi'a . Marriage

I am a Shia woman who comes from a very religious family. However I am in love with a Sunni man and would like to marry him. Should I teach him about Shia Islam and enlighten him as to allow him to convert? Or should I instead end everything with him?

If he understands and accepts following Ahlul Bayt (AS) just like all the followers of Ahlul Bayt (AS), and you are sure that he will not leave the faith, then you can go ahead with your marriage plans with him, but if you or him are not sure then you should avoid such idea which can endanger your future.
Wassalam.

Sunni-Shi'a . Marriage

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 5 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

That is very good that you come from a religious family, and as a religious person you know what your obligations are.

In our Shi'i fiqh, it is permissible to marry anyone from other Islamic sects, as long as you are free to keep your Shi'i identity and uphold your Shi'i practices. You do not necessarily need to convert him to becoming a Shi'i, as this is something that comes from within.

It is his choice, if he is interested in learning about Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), and following the Imams (a.s.), or not, as long as he does not harbour hatred to the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.).

Something that you must keep in mind is his surroundings, and those influencing him. In some cases, the husband/wife might be neutral, or compliant, but then get negatively influenced by an extremist, or a Wahhabi, or a takfiri, and then this starts to have an impact on the marriage.

In early stages of life, he/she might not be that religious, but then after a while, they start to pick up on things, and condemn you for praying on soil, or mourning Imam Husain (a.s.), or wanting to go to Ziyarah, and so on.

This does happen, and so it is very important that both sides clarify everything and make sure there will be no sort of mistreatment based on sect.

Another thing that you must think of is because you are "in love", it might cloud your judgment as to whether you are making the right decision.

It is absolutely necessary that you consult with your parents, and also discuss things with your elders and family members, to make sure you have their consent, and also the decision you are making is the right decision. This should always be the case, whether the prospect spouse be Sunni, or Shi'i, or anything else.

So, if he has the positive requirements of a husband, and he meets all the conditions, along with your family's approval, then discuss that's a very good thing.

You can discuss topics related to Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), but it has to be his decision from within himself if he has the interest and wishes to learn more, or not. That must be his choice, and not something imposed on him.

With prayers for your success.

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Education . Walima . Marriage

Is it permissible for a couple to do Nikah but then stay separate from each other for a year or two to complete their education? Does the Nikah remain valid if Walima is performed later after the completion of their education?

Bismihi ta'ala

Being separate from each other for a short or long time does not nullify the marriage. In the rulings related to marriage, a husband is not allowed to travel or be away from his wife for more than 4 months. In the case that he does, and the wife does not approve of it, he is sinning and if she does not approve, it will be grounds for divorce.

So, if the husband abandons for more than 4 months, he is committing a sin and that is haram, unless the wife approves, or he has a valid excuse, or the husband had stipulated this in the marriage contract.

But, in any case, the Nikah will still be valid, and it will not automatically become nullified, even if years pass.

However, if the wife give consent, and approve of being distant from each other, then that is permissible and allowed.

And Allah knows best.

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Parents . Marriage

I am 26, need to get married and been fasting for around 6 months. My parents ask me to get a proper job with a decent salary whereas I lost my past job due to the Covid situation and getting a new job now is difficult. What should I do?

Bismihi ta'ala

Getting married should be completely independent on getting graduated or having a permanent job. As long as you are mature enough to take on the important responsibility of marriage, and stay committed to the relationship, regardless of the circumstances, then get married.

Allah ta'ala is al-Razzāq, and by fulfilling half of your religion and pursuing marriage, many doors of barakah will open for you. Have tawakkul on God, and plan towards your marriage, and leave the rest for Him.

You could have the most stable of jobs, and be married as well, and then it all falls apart. What will you do? If we have less expectations, and spend less on meaningless wedding ceremonies, and focus more on building a relationship, we would be successful in our marriages even if we were the poorest of people.

With prayers for your success.

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Marriage . Laylat al-Qadr . Predestination . Du'a (Supplication) . God (Allah)

Is there such a thing as Qadr for marriage where it is predestined who one will get married to? Can I make Dua to get married to a specific person and can I tell Allah to make that person good for me?

Predestined matters are things which human beings have no option at all in it e.g. your parents, your place of birth, your skin color, your height etc.

Marriage is not predestined because it must have your own option and approval not be valid. Man and woman choose and decide whom they marry and accordingly they meet the results of their own decision.

You can pray to Allah (SWT) to make a specific person good for being your spouse. Allah (SWT) knows everything including the unseen and the future, and He grants whatever is good according to the reality and not necessarily as we think and imagine. Many things we wish and seek from Allah, can be harmful in the future, that is we should always submit to the Will, Wisdom and Mercy of Allah in seeking from Him. We should seek from Him to grant us whatever He knows good for us, not what we think good.

Wassalam

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Man . Woman . Inheritance . Parents . Marriage

If a man or woman marries a non-Muslim are they entitled to inheritance from their parents?

Yes as far as they are Muslims.
Muslim sinner , no matter what type of sins, inherits from his Muslim parents. Non Muslim is not allowed to inherit from Muslim.

Wassalam..

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Sin . Parents . Girl . Marriage

I am a man and want to get married due to fear of sin. My parents won't allow it because I am in college. Should I marry now without telling them and then tell them later about the girl without saying I was already married to her?

Man does not need his parents permission for marriage, however, he needs to avoid hurting them or making them feel disrespected.

If you need to get married to save yourself from falling in sinful acts, you should go ahead and get married with a suitable believer female.

Wassalam.

Sin . Parents . Girl . Marriage

Bismihi ta'ala

Unfortunately, many young adults face this same serious problem of certain parents with a wrong mindset preventing their son/daughter to get married, under the assumption that marriage will hinder their studies, or career prospects.

We must invite people to adhere to our Islamic recommendations, and keep ourself immune from sin or engaging in illicit or secret relationships.

I would not advice you in any way to secretly get married, behind your parents. This is something that would not be to your benefit. Try to prove to your parents that you are ready for marriage. Show that you are mature, and you have the ability to combine between your college and having a partner. Even if it means your engagement period can be a bit long, but as long as you do not do something haram, or without your family's blessings.

With prayers for your success.

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Husband . Divorce . Menstruation (Haidh) . Marriage

If I was granted a Khulah and my husband wanted to reconcile with me before the waiting period is over, can he do that and will we still be married?

Bismihi ta'ala

If the type of divorce was a khul'i divorce, you are able to return during the 'iddah period, but with a new marriage contract. This means you will need to perform a nikah ceremony, along with its requirements.

That is the fiqhi answer, but of course it would be highly recommended for both sides to contemplate on what led to the initial divorce, and how healthy it is to rush back in so quickly. Establishing boundaries, putting conditions and understanding what needs to improve on both sides is extremely necessary in order to eliminate previous problems and happily live together.

And Allah knows best.

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Marriage . Father . Mut'a (Temporary marriage) . Sunni-Shi'a

Am I allowed to get into a Mutah marriage with a guy without my father's permission as he will never allow it being a non-Shia?

If your non Shia father refuses to allow your marriage with a good Believing person, for no valid reason, and you need the marriage to save yourself from falling in sin, you can refer to your Marja' of Taqleed to seek his guidance.

It is disliked for a virgin girl to do Mut'ah marriage.

Wassalam.

Marriage

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