Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any), and between them and their in-laws. It is nearly a cultural universal, but the definition of marriage varies between cultures and religions, and over time.

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Depression . Spouse . Marriage

Is it mandatory, religiously or ethically, to open up about major depression to your future spouse and their family before marriage? If one chooses not to tell them about depression before or during married life, will that be counted as a lie or deceit?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 5 years ago

I am sorry to hear about your difficulties (or the difficulties of the person you are asking on behalf of).

To add to the below response, I find that marriages tend to work out best when the husband and wife feel they can talk openly to each other about their lives without feeling they have to keep secrets. It can be difficult to build a deep relationship when there are big parts of one's life one feels that one can't discuss.

At the same time, real life being what it is, sometimes it doesn't work out to share some things and sometimes one person will use them against the other if they are not entirely of good character. I can also understand not wanting to open up about something personal or sensitive to the whole family and having them weigh in on it or talk about it with each other.

Anyway, there is no shame (or at least there should be no shame) in mental health conditions, just as, indeed, there is often no shame in the other things that people, often women, feel compelled to keep secret for social reasons.

I do agree however that when a person finds out something later, oftentimes the reaction is worse because they feel deceived and that it is a betrayal of trust.

But you have to make whatever decision is best - perhaps consider doing istikhara about sharing it, if you are genuinely unsure?

Depression . Spouse . Marriage

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 5 years ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. At the moment, Shii law does not consider mental health as an issue that would annul a marriage contract. However, considering the fact that marriage in the modern world is a major decision for both parties it would be wise to not hide such issues as they will inevitably come up during the course of a persons marriage at which stage your partner may feel hard done by. Especially if it is something you are not entirely over. With these situations it is helpful to put yourself in the other party's shoes and treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

May you always be successful.

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Marriage . Mahram

Can a Muslim male or female hug their friend who they intend to marry soon?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 5 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Hugging in this kind of scenario would somehow entail emotional attraction, and a person of piety who observes the highest level of devotion to the Almighty does not want to engage in anything that would lead to haram or anything of that sort.

So, if both have decided they wish to get married, they should not delay the procedures for their Nikah ceremony, and after that they will be mahram to each other.

And Allah knows best.

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Kitab . Najis . Marriage . Women . Ahl al-Bayt . Mut'a (Temporary marriage)

Are Ahlul Kitab considered Najis? If so, then why are we allowed to do temporary marriage with their women?

Bismihi ta'ala

This question is similar to many other fiqhi questions, where one would need to refer to his/her Marja' taqleed.

That being said, according to the view of most of our esteemed jurists, Ahlul Kitab are not najis, and as for temporary marriage with a Kitabiyah woman, most Maraji' also deem it as halal.

And Allah knows best.

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Islam . Marriage . Hindusim . Conversion to Islam . Sunni-Shi'a . Children

If I marry a Hindu guy who converted to Shia Islam, will my kids with him be born as Hindu or Shia?

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. They will be considered Shia.

May you always be successful

98417

Marriage . Husband . Sunni

What should a Shia woman should do if, many years into marriage, her husband forces her to follow his Sunni beliefs?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 5 years ago

No obedience is permissible in disobeying Allah (ALLAH). Shia woman must follow the true Islam of Ahlul Bayt (AS) and never give up any rule or faith from Ahlul Bayt (AS) to please any one including her husband. She must be firm in following the True Islam of Ahlul Bayt at any cost.

'Wassalam.

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Parents . Law . Husband . Father . Wife . Mother . Marriage

Can co-parents-in-law marry such as a husband's father and a wife's mother?

Yes it is permissible for husband's father to marry the mother-in-law of his son if she is widowed or divorced. Wife is Mahram for her father-in-law only not for his sons and husband is Mahram for his mother-in-law only not for her other daughters. This rule of being Mahram does not include the parents of the husband and wife.
'Your mother-in-law must observe Hijab from your father but not from you. Obviously, when they are non-Mahram to each other, marriage between them is permissible.

Wassalam.

Parents . Law . Husband . Father . Wife . Mother . Marriage

Can co-parents-in-law marry such as a husband's father and a wife's mother?

It's fine as long as there is no secondary reason why they can't marry (for instance, they have a blood relationship that prevents it, etc.).

Anyway I think it is rather sweet. I hope they are all happy!

97293

Fate . Marriage

Is the person you marry due to fate or free will? I know it is our own choice but is Allah involved in that process and in what way? How do we relate it to the many verses in the Quran that speak about us being created in pairs?

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. For many issues of fate and free will, it is useful to see the circumstances as fate and the choices we make as being of our own volition. That is that we cannot control the time we are born in, the circumstances we are brought up in, the country we live in, and so on, and as such the person we marry will be connected to these circumstances in some way and we cannot control that. On the other hand, the choice of who we marry is our own, even if God has pre-eternal knowledge of that choice, and has put us in the best situation. It is important for us to truly make choices for ourselves as that is what meaningful free will is.

As for the verses speaking about the humans being created in pairs, this is to do with the human race as a whole (i.e there being males and females) rather than as soul mates. As you are aware Islam allows for polygyny as well as multiple temporary and permanent marriages depending on which marriages work out and for what purpose they are contracted. The concept of soul mates is somewhat alien to the Islamic perspective on marriage as far as I am aware.

May you always be successful

94570

Marriage . Dowry . Qur'anic Verse

How is the Quranic verse 2:236 understood by Shia scholars where it mentions the possibility of a marriage without a settled dowry? Are there any valid marriage vows in the Twelver School where the dowry is not mentioned?

Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb, Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb has a BA in Law from Guilan University, Iran and has also undertaken Hawzah studies in Qom. He used to be a Cultural Affairs director of Ethics Group of Al-Mustafa... Answer updated 5 years ago

Salaamun Alaikum
It is possible that they pronounce the permanent marriage contract without mentioning the dowry i.e Mahr, so they can decide on what it will be with a mutual consent after the marriage.
But if the intercourse takes place before determining the dowry, the woman will be eligible to ask for the Mahrul Mesl i.e. a dowry which is usually given to this type of girl with these characteristics and family and social position.

95681

Woman . Sayyid . Marriage

Is a female Sayed allowed to marry a non-Sayed male?

Bismihi ta'ala

Yes, a Seyid male/female is allowed to marry a non-Seyid male/female. There is nowhere in our religion that somehow forces Seyids/Seyidahs to marry someone like them. This has also unfortunately turned into a very negative culture as well. The esteemed Marja' A.U. Seyid Sistani has pointed to this in a statement where he admonished some parents who cling onto this wrong culture and reject prospect spouses on the basis that they are not Seyids/Seyidahs.

With prayers for your success.

95705

Marriage . Sunni . Children . Sunni-Shi'a . Woman . Anxiety

I am a 32 year old Shia female who wants to go for marriage with a Sunni guy. We would like to be together but do worry for the next generation. Should we bring up our children as Sunni or Shia?

Bismihi ta'ala

As far as you are concerned, following the madhhab of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) is a part of your personality and identity, and your marriage should not obstruct your affiliation to your Shi'i identity. This should be made clear to your fiance.

In regards to your future children, you as their mother must try to nurture them in such a way where they are aware of their religion and abide to the laws of Islam. Which madhhab they choose is completely up to them, when they become mature and of age.

If you instill within them the love of religion and the urge to pursue truth and evidence, and allow them to research and read and decide themselves, you've done your obligation. The rest is for them to decide.

Your main focus must be on accompanying your husband to be in a noble spiritual way, and avoiding anything that would hurt or harm his understanding of Islam, or your understanding of Islam.

Be the parents that you should be, and that would be the best thing you can do.

With prayers for your success.

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