Zaid Alsalami

Bismihi ta'āla

The fact that you've said "might have touched" and "unsure" makes the scenario hold no weight. In matters of taharah and najasah, it is only certainty that you act upon. As long as the cushion was washed, that is more than enough, and dismiss your other thoughts.

And Allah knows best.

Bismihi ta'āla

You have every right to be upset, and every right to be frustrated, but you must control yourself, to make sure you do not fall short of your motherhood and parenting duties. Your children have no guilt in this, so they need your full attention and grace. 

A promiscuous husband does definitely affect you as a wife, and you must put a stop to this. Discuss this with him, his family, your family, elders in the community, and if he continues his ways, you might need to make the strong decision of leaving him, if it is affecting you.

And Allah knows best 

Bismihi ta'āla

Nobody is allowed to be violent towards anyone. Violence will not solve anything, especially within a family. A brother has no authority over his sister, so he has no right to discipline or even raise his voice, let alone be violent.

You must read the biography of the Imams (a.s.), to understand their style of raising family members, and how compassionate they were in their method of discipline.

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

Your father has no right to insist or force anyone onto you. This is haram for him to do, and it is completely your choice, and he must respect that. It might be difficult for you to express yourself to him, and you might feel pressured, but do not give in, unless you are absolutely convinced on who you wish to marry, whoever he may be.

And Allah knows best.

Bismihi ta'āla

A believer must avoid free mix-gatherings, for whatever reason it may be, and as close as the non-mahrams may be. We must try to promote segregated wedding programs, and not allow ourselves to participate in haram gatherings.

This works for both genders as well. A man should not attend, and a woman should not attend as well. 

It is by far better for weddings to be segregated, so that the women can dress as they wish, without hijab or any restrictions. 

If someone is forced to be there, like the person being a primary family member, then they go just for the social obligation they have, limit it to that, dressed Islamically, and leave.

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

As far as outer hijab and Islamic dress-code for women, wearing a 'abayah or chador is not compulsory, unless it is the common custom of a particular society, and not wearing it will be seen as bad.  

In brief, wearing of modest and loose clothes, is enough, as long as deflects any attention of men.

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

Extravagance is haram, and we must not allow ourselves to be dragged into consumerism and purchase expensive dunyawi items that will not hold its value, and are way more that its price value, due to it being a particular brand. Even if you have the money, and you are rich, it still does not justify extravagance. Of course, someones someone might purchase something expensive, for the purpose of investment, as its price will appreciate, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

It is good that she has come to this realisation, and be more focused on being moderate and balanced in her spending, even if she has the money. She does not need to get rid of them, if she wants to keep them, but just be more God-wary in the future. 

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

It is makruh to choose to stay single. There are numerous narrations that censure being single, and explain the many benefits of marriage. 

The only time marriage would be obligatory is if one falls into sin, and marriage would solve that problem. 

One can combine between marriage and focus on career as well. 

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

This is an interesting topic that many of our scholars have addressed. I would like to share some quick points:

1. Our principle is we are all the same, and equal, and our virtue over others is only in taqwa. 

2. Not every narration mentioned is to be taken as authentic. Many narrations are fabricated.

3. There are Arabic expressions that one understands on face, but linguists and experts have explained it carrying different meaning that the meaning commonly used. for example, "shadid al-sawad", does not mean extremely black, it means someone who does not die their hair, even though they are of old age. Or a "qawm of jinn" this does not mean they are jinn, but they hide in mountains, do not socialise, so "jinn" here does not mean the jinn creature, but the literal meaning of "concealing and hiding". 

4. There are narrations about the people of Kufah, or the people of Esfahan and not loving Ahlul Bayt (a.s.). If authentic, it could be referring to a group of people, or a certain situation, or specific for a time, not generalising and forever. 

5. The word "zinj" has numerous meanings, and does not only mean "black people". In principle, our Islamic values condemn such an attitude, and is categorically rejected, so therefore, it must be referring to something else other than what is commonly taken as its meaning.

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

There are numerous narrations that speak about a miscarried child and how our Prophet (s.a.w.) will boast about his ummah, even a miscarried fetus. Narrations mention the baby will intercede at the door of Heaven for its parents, and so on. 

Please read this book: Soothing the Heart of the Bereaved, by Shahid al-Thani 

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

Please refer to previous answers regarding this topic of istikharah and marriage. They will be useful for you to read. Should you and your family have done due dilligence in investigating him and how religious he is and his high akhlaq and there is compatibility between the both of you, rely on your judgment and corect evaluation, rather than istikharah.

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'āla

You must refer to your Marja' taqleed on whether it is sinful to have and display drawings. Most of our contemporary esteemed jurists do not deem them has prohibited. 

And Allah knows best