Rebecca Masterton

Islam generally teaches that something small done consistently is better than doing too much and then stopping. Body and soul are not actually totally separate. They are integrated. Keeping healthy and physically fit is vital for the well being of the soul. Nowadays many doctors are saying that some forms of depression can be caused by an unhealthy gut; conversely emotional stress can affect digestion and therefore overall body health. Try to establish a pattern, or a good habit, when you do dhikr or other matters directly related to the soul - a time of day where you are least likely to be disturbed, or tired, or your mind overloaded. Even just contemplating the creation when you are out walking in the road can nurture the soul.

Dedicating yourself to seeking knowledge requires sacrifice for many years. When others are outside in the park on a sunny day, you have to be indoors writing up a paper. I use the 'delayed gratification' technique with myself, where I tell myself that maybe this summer I will not have time to enjoy, but later on inshaAllah I will see the benefits of the work that I put in.

Many people also get work done by concentrating on about two or three things at once. If you are studying a subject that you have to, but are not deeply interested in, then you can alternate studying it with turning your attention to another book, or another lecture. Even if you are interested in it, you may want to study it alongside something else.

It's important to get up, walk around, get enough exercise. The life of study is not always healthy.

It is very important to have a quiet space to work. You have to be disciplined about not engaging with calls, messages and texts. Set yourself a goal, or a deadline of what you want to achieve when, and sit down to do it. This is a world where people today expect instant responses to their messages, and if you want to get work done, it's just not possible to do that. Over time they will understand that you are working on something.

Try to avoid emotional drama. Being upset or distracted is not good for study. Do not watch anything dramatic late at night. That will upset your sleep for the next day.

Have one or two people that are doing the same as you that you CAN communicate with - your peers. This will encourage you to keep on working.

Reward yourself for engaging in a long period of study. For example, after one month of intensive study, take a break somewhere, or go somewhere to walk. Give yourself breathing space, before making your firm intention to return again to the work.

Praying for your success.

Posted below are a range of responses to your question, and also links. Jonathan Brown's answer is quite detailed, and seems fairly plausible. In short, the person 'Uzayr could be an amalgamation of two personalities in history. Secondly, the term 'son of God', used in one of the Books of Enoch, has a different meaning from how Christians used the term. It just meant someone pious. There does not appear to be an extensive tafsir of this ayah in Imami books, but I will update this if I find it, inshaAllah.

https://drjonathanbrown.com/2016/the-quran-the-jews-and-ezra-as-the-son-...

https://www.britannica.com/topic/First-Book-of-Esdras

On Quora:

"Meir Lipnick: Did any Jews actually refer to Ezra as the Son of God, as the Qur'an claims?

Originally Answered: Did any Jews actually worship Ezra as the son of God, as the Koran claims?

If such a sect existed ever, it would be such an outlier that no memory of it exists amongst the Jewish people today. Suffice it to say that every religion has groups of heretics that spring up from time to time. I had never heard of this particular bit of heresy before. When I wrote this answer: Meir Lipnick's answer to Who was Uzair in Jewish literature? about a year ago, I had never heard of this controversy, and had not thought of any reason why this question would be asked. Having read some of the other answers and discussion on this question, it makes sense. Still, this seems to be a very odd controversy. The discussion that it was only some small sect of Jews living in Yemen in the 11th century CE is quite baffling given certain legends that Yemenite Jews felt snubbed by Erza and no Yemenite Jews would name their children after him despite being a prominent biblical figure. See the Wikipedia article on Yemenite Jews
(early history). As the article continues, this particular legend is probably apocryphal, but the fact that it exists seems very counter to the passage in the Quran and any accompanying commentary.

What makes this even more baffling is the nature of this bit of heresy. The whole "son of God" motif is very pagan in character. All legitimate Jewish הַשׁקָפָה (outlook) characterizes God as a single entity, one non-corporeal being. The idea of Him having a son is simply a contradiction in Jewish theology.

Now, this did happen one time in history that such a heresy came about. Christianity could be said to have evolved from a Jewish heresy involving a cult of personality surrounding a particular individual. But, this doesn't translate well to Ezra. There was no cult of personality around Ezra. The Book of Ezra in Jewish scriptures clearly discusses a human being and his pivotal involvement in some of the goings on around the time the Jewish people first returned to Israel after the Babylonian exile. No claim in this book ever mentions anything supernatural about Ezra. He is regarded very highly as one of the founding members of the Great Assembly, but he's not even called a prophet! The era of prophecy ended when the first temple was destroyed many decades before Ezra. But the Book of Ezra shares no similar characteristics as the Christian New Testament. The cult of personality behind Jesus is quite obvious in the New Testament."

"A history of the Jews of Arabia Book by Gordon Darnell Newby Page 61 :
We can deduce that the inhabitants of Hijaz during Muhammad's time knew portions, at least, of 3 Enoch in association with the Jews. The angels over which Metatron becomes chief are identified in the Enoch traditions as the sons of God, the Bene Elohim, the Watchers, the fallen ones as the causer of the flood. In 1 Enoch, and 4 Ezra, the term Son of God can be applied to the Messiah, but most often it is applied to the righteous men, of whom Jewish tradition holds there to be no more righteous than the ones God elected to translate to heaven alive. It is easy, then, to imagine that among the Jews of the Hijaz who were apparently involved in mystical speculations associated with the merkabah, Ezra, because of the traditions of his translation, because of his piety, and particularly because he was equated with Enoch as the Scribe of God, could be termed one of the Bene Elohim. And, of course, he would fit the description of religious leader (one of the ahbar of the Qur'an 9:31R) whom the Jews had exalted."

"George Sale Alkoran of Mohammed page 152 (1923):
This grievous charge against the Jews, the commentators endeavour to support by telling us, that it is meant of some ancient heterdox Jews, or else of some Jews of Medina; who said so for no other reason, than for that the law being utterly lost and forgotten during the Babylonish captivity, Ezra having been raised to life after he had been dead one hundred years, dictated the whole anew unto the scribes, out of his own memory; at which they greatly marvelled, and declared that he could not have done it, unless he were the son of God. Al-Beidawi adds, that the imputation must be true, because this verse was read to the Jews and they did not contradict it; which they were ready enough to do in other instances

Jewish life in late Antiquity was relatively centralized in Sura, Pumbedita and Tiberias, with most Jewish splinter groups being obliterated by then (the emergence of multiple Jewish denominations is a modern phenomenon, while Karaites emerged during the late Abbasid period). The idea that God could have a son has been universally considered antithetical to Jewish thought.

Talmudic sages in general in general saw Ezra as the greatest figure after Moses. The Quran may present a mockery of Rabbinical Judaism by accusing Jews of calling Ezra son of God and taking Rabbis as their lords. Indeed, throughout the Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, many condemnations of Rabbinical Jewish practices could be found."

https://www.quora.com/Why-does-the-Quran-say-that-the-Jews-believe-Uzair...

Quranic tafsir depicts Ezra in a slightly different way. Some tafasir say he was a prophet, although he could have just been the equivalent of a 'sabiq' (in Islam 'someone of the foremost group of righteous people').

"Uzair is Arabic for Hebrew Ezra. This is the only verse in the Holy Qur’an where such a reference is made. Who is this alleged Jewish son of God? After the Babylonian conquest of Jerusalem at the hands of Nebuchadnessar, the Torah was lost. Since there was none who remembered the law when the Jews returned from captivity, God raised up Ezra from the dead a hundred years after his death. When the Jews saw him thus raised from the dead, they said he must be the son of God. This is the contested view of some scholars. This raising from the dead is confused with another incident which actually took place to someone else and which is narrated in the Holy Qur’an in 2:261. It involves Bal’am (Balam) ibn Ba’r, a learned Israelite, who passed by a dead town (some say Antioch or one of its suburbs) and wondered how God would bring it back to life. The Almighty caused him to die then raised him back to life to see for himself that He can do anything at all."

https://www.al-islam.org/ninety-nine-attributes-allah-yasin-t-al-jibouri...

https://www.iranicaonline.org/articles/ezra-nama

https://www.iranicaonline.org/articles/ezra-book-of

Sometimes mothers find it hard to accept that their children are adults. If the child is now a man, then he needs to be respected as a man, and not emasculated and controlled by a woman, even if that woman is his mother. If the child is a woman, the mother needs to understand  that by attempting to micromanage her daughter's life she is actually crippling her emotionally, and this will cause problems either with finding a husband for her daughter, or with her daughter's already existing marriage.  According to the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt (as), the respect due to parents is conditional upon how they treat their children. It is well known that according to ahadith, it is recommended that after the age of fourteen, the child should be treated as a 'friend', not as a seven-year-old. There is a non confrontational method of establishing boundaries called "grey rock", which you can find out more about on YouTube. You may also want to research "narcissistic" or "controlling" mothers, and something else called "emotional enmeshment". I will update this answer further with references inshaAllah.

It would depend upon what music is being played; what lyrics there are. Rulings on music among scholars are diverse. Ayatollah Sistani says that it is not permissible to listen to music that is used for frivolous entertainment or sexual provocation, meaning that music that is NOT used for frivolous entertainment or sexual provocation may be listened to; for example, music that is composed to praise God. Interestingly, even the same ruling exists in Buddhism. You should have a discussion with the teacher to ask what kind of music they intend to teach, as unfortunately nowadays children are exposed to many indecent and adult-level sounds and images, even at school.

This video explains from a linguistic perspective why the Qur'an does not name non-Middle Eastern prophets.

The Shi'i hadith collections do, however, include some narrations on the Buddha.

See below for a paper on it by Dr George Warner:

https://www.academia.edu/34124284/Buddha_or_Y%C5%ABdh%C4%81saf_Images_of...

“Buddha or Yūdhāsaf? Images of the Hidden Imām in al-Ṣadūq's Kamāl al-dīn” on Academia.edu

According to Ayatollah al-Sistani, if having the tree promotes another religion, then it is not permissible. Actually the origins of the Christmas tree are pre-Christian. The practice of having a Christmas tree was brought from Germany to England by Prince Albert, I believe, in the nineteenth century. Nowadays there is the ethical issue of buying a living tree and then chucking it out after a few days, which leads to israf (waste), which is not permissible in Islam. Sometimes previously wild woodland is replaced by the monoculture of fir tree growing. 

It is unacceptable for a mother-in-law to be verbally abusive to her daughter-in-law. Verbal abuse, jealousy and hatred to that extent can be part of a personality disorder. I can recommend researching in detail the characteristics of the malignant, narcissistic woman and mother. In insulting someone you love, she is also abusing you.  Mothers with a narcissistic personality disorder (as opposed to just being self-centred) are competitive in terms of who their child loves most.

How your children see you behave with your mother and wife will affect their own marriages down the line. Can you ask your mother not to verbally abuse your wife? If you feel you can't, that is revealing something about how your mother has trained you to relate to her, i.e. to remain passive and take the abuse; to not have enough self-worth to even politely ask her not to be verbally abusive.

Your duty is to love and protect your wife. You are the head of your household. You also have to protect the well being of your children. If they see their mother being abused their well being will be affected too. 

According to Ayatollah Dastghayb-Shirazi, you are entitled to minimise or even cut ties with family members whose bad behaviour you can't reform, or whose bad behaviour gets worse by your presence, or whose bad behaviour you indirectly condone by co-operating with them. Being good to your parents does not mean condoning behaviour that could destroy your family.

https://www.al-islam.org/greater-sins-volume-1-sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastg...

Regardless of whether it is permissible or not, supposing one of them was caught? What reputation would that give to the Shi'a living in that country? Why do they want the benefits of living in that country while at the same time not respecting it?

I am not a mujtahid or faqih, but personally I would say that if this is what you can achieve under the circumstances, and this is what the school will allow, then that is an achievement. Many people pray one hour after awwal al-waqt (the first moment prayer comes in) without even thinking about it too much. If the school can gradually, and in a friendly way, be persuaded to allow you to pray at awwal al-waqt, then that will be even better. Maybe you can in a friendly way say "Thank you" for their accommodation, and that if they can manage to allow you to pray on time, then that would be even better, and if they can't manage that for you for now, hopefully in the future maybe they can.

If you make the room a beautiful place to pray in, and also keep it clean and tidy, that will go some way to making them more favourable towards what you need inshaAllah.

It's interesting that you have awareness of your usual manner. Have you been told that by someone else, or this is your own awareness? Being around others who are compassionate can help you to learn in a practical sense how to be more compassionate. Sometimes our behaviour patterns have been inculcated in us from childhood by the general dynamics and accepted codes of behaviour in the family, and they are hard to break. If you want to change your own patterns, you can try to do so in small ways where you feel comfortable and not awkward. You don't have to do big gestures that make you feel as if you are not your self. Once you get used to small changes, you can then work on other small changes, step by step.

You may want to look on youtube at videos on narcissistic personality disorder. Rages can be a symptom of that. There are coaches on-line that teach you how to protect yourself. I can recommend Dr Ramani, Anna Runkle, and Dr Daniel Fox. Look up the 'grey rock' method. Also be careful that you are not being used emotionally by your mother as a 'flying monkey', or that you are being 'parentified' (i.e. your mother is the child and you are the parent that feels you have to protect her). Not saying that this is happening, but it is something to be aware of.