Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any), and between them and their in-laws. It is nearly a cultural universal, but the definition of marriage varies between cultures and religions, and over time.

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Islam . Marriage . Lust

Does Islam have any guidance on how long in a marriage Muslim couples should stay sexually active with each other?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 years ago

Sexual activity between husband and wife should continue as long as they are healthy and able. If the wife is young, then her husband must sleep with her at least once every four months.

‘Even if they are aged, they should enjoy themselves as husband and wife in the way which they prefer. Wife is not allowed to refuse to be sexually with her husband as far as she is able. Husband is also required to sexually treat his wife as much as he can.

Wassalam.

143565

Marriage . Istikhara . Qur'an

In the context of a marriage decision, a 'Faal' from the Quran was positive, but an Istikhara done later later yielded a negative result. What should one do?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

In the context of marriage, istikharah should only occur if someone is two-minded about two different proposals at once, both being equal.

For marriage, you should do a background check on the person, research about them, look at compatibility, try to understand who they are, their family especially, and then consult with well-informed or experienced people.

How actually religious are they? How is their akhlaq and what are their moral standards? These are the two primary questions you must have an answer to as well.

It's only after this that you evaluate the situation, and see whether or not you are still confused and two-minded, in which case you can do istikharah.

Faal is different to istikharah. Faal is trying to find out what will happen, whereas istikhara is is about whether you should go ahead or not.

In any case, these stages should be pursued, and if you are convinced, and done all your required work, you do not need to resort to istikharah.

And Allah knows best

141529

Wife . Sexual . Childbirth . Marriage

I have remained refrained from intercourse with my wife for 7 months, as she had given birth to my child and after the pregnancy she was not ready for it. Can I go for intercourse with her or do I have to renew my Nikah?

No question of renewing your Nikah. Your Nikah remains valid no matter how long you don't have intercourse with your wife, even if you are separated for years.

'Nothing in Islam suggests that you should refrain from sexual intercourse with your wife during her pregnancy. Even after child birth, you are allowed sexual intercourse immediately after the post natal bleeding which is ten days or less. Unless your wife is not well.

Wassalam.

142304

Girl . Marriage

Can a girl marry without a Wali? If a Wali is being a hurdle in her marriage what should be done in this situation? Who can perform this task?

Bismihi ta'ala

A female must have consent of her shar'i guardian (her father / her paternal grandfather) for her to get married.

The exemption for this is if she is a divorcee, widow, (in other words not a virgin), or is completely independent in all her decisions (rashidah).

This is the shar'i ruling, and of course, we must look at the social factors for marriage, within our Islamic teachings, that marriage is not just an individual decision, but also crucial to involve those around you.

Yes, should the shar'i guardian refuse in every way to grant consent, the girl can refer to her Marja' taqleed or an Islamic judge to solve her issue.

And Allah knows best.

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Man . Wife . Woman . Husband . Marriage

Is it allowed for a man to marry a second wife without the permission of the first one? If yes, can a woman and her husband agreed as a condition before marriage that the husband will not marry another woman? Will that be a valid condition?

If the woman puts a condition on the marriage contract that her husband should not have another wife during he is married to her, and the husband agrees on such condition, then it becomes binding on the husband to fulfill this condition which is part of the marriage contract.

Wassalam.

140398

Islam . Girl . Marriage

Is it compulsory in Islam for a Muslim girl to get married?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 years ago

Marriage is optional.

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Parents . Father . Daughter . Marriage

If parents get separated and the father clearly says that he does not want to be a part of his daughter’s marriage, is his permission still required for the daughter to marry someone?

Such statement can be because of anger and he might repent later. He should be asked again when his daughter is about to get married. If he says then that he is not concerned, then his father ( her paternal grand father) should be asked. If he is not alive or not available, then she can decide her marriage by herself.

Wassalam.

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Husband . Sexual . Marriage

I have been married for a year and my husband admits that he does not have much interest in intercourse and that he does not feel any kind of sexual attraction towards me. What should I do in this situation?

This happens sometimes.

It is your decision whether to stay in the marriage, or pursue separation.

Some factors to take into consideration are:
* whether or not you hope to bear children
* how important physical intimacy is to you (it is important to most people, but some people choose to remain in a marriage without physical intimacy)
* whether you fear you might fall into sin in this type of situation
* whether the marriage is working out in other ways (such as emotionally or practically - with emotional considerations such as, do you love each other, are you dedicated to each other, do you feel bonded with each other, do you feel like a family, do you have future plans for yourselves as a family that you are both working towards, etc.)

Often in these cases, where there is an absence of attraction from one side from the beginning, the underlying relationship in the marriage fails to develop and the relationship breaks down (whether that results in actual divorce, or just living like roommates - usually with a fair degree of tension - or just a marriage on paper).

This is unless there was a prior agreement to have a marriage with little or no physical intimacy and they have other reasons why they want to be together and the marraige works for them.

Maybe your husband might also have a sense of what should be done - it is ideal when it is joint decision.

Sorry to hear about your challenging situation and wishing you the best.

138380

Marriage . Sin

We are having major issues in our marriage where we go for weeks or months without speaking or seeing each other. In such a scenario, how can I fulfill my desires without committing a sin?

The best way to go in this situation is to try your best to reconcile and patch up. There is no question of committing a sin at all. While you are trying to reconcile, you must control your desires in every possible way including fasting which is very helpful in such situations.

Wassalam.

136327

Sexual . Marriage . Rape

I want to marry a girl who has been raped in the past but due to her trauma she is not sure if she can provide me with my sexual needs. Am I allowed to have consensual sexual intercourse with her before marrying her permanently?

In addition to what has already been said, one thing to consider is that when a man or woman is put in a situation where they feel their sexual performance is being tested, it sometimes does not go well, because they feel self-conscious and under pressure to perform, and consequently are too stressed or awkward to engage with the situation.

This is rather different from a situation where two people commit to a marriage, commit to working through any sexual difficulties on either side (including any long-term medical, psychological, or psychiatric interventions), and focus on enjoying their relationship with each other in a holistic manner with an attitude of love and support, which is a less threatening sort of situation, and one that is more likely to nurture a long-term good relationship.

Wishing you both the best!

137636

Time . Father . Law . Mahr . Marriage

At the time of my Nikah my father-in-law did not let me or my father decide my Mahr. Can anything be done about it now?

If you have agreed to the Mahr which was suggested by your husband or father-in-law, then it is valid Nikah. But if you rejected the Mahr before the recitation of the Nikah, you need to recite the Nikah again with an agreed Mahr between you and your husband.

Wassalam.

138028

Parents . Medicine . Employment . Marriage

I am a 16 year old girl and I would love to work someday as a doctor. Is it wrong of me to wish for such a life, while my parents do support me in looking to study medicine but they seem like they would want me to get married right afterwards?

Nothing wrong in wishing to work as a doctor especially when thousands of our females need female doctors to treat them. Even if you get married after medical graduation, you can work as a doctor and there is no contradiction between marriage and working as far as you organise it with your husband.

Wassalam.

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